The Things That Need to Go in 2017,Part Four

things17

Welcome to Part Four of our list! We’re counting down Numbers 40-21 on the list. Part Three gave us Flaky people, snoring in television commercials,and the Pro Bowl. Part Two gave us the KKK, Ted Nugent,and Good Day Sacramento and Part One gave us Anthony Weiner, onesies for adults,and Snapchat filters with dog and cat ears. Just as a reminder and a disclaimer to all of you: This list is intended for entertainment purposes and should be taken semi-seriously. So on we go with the list. Here’s #40!

mismatchedsocks40. People who mismatch their socks

Fifth year selection: 2016,55;2015,29;2014,4;2013,28

This has actually made it to a fifth consecutive list,can you believe it? I can because it rose for the first time since it’s been on the list.

Look,this is something I thought might go away at some point,but it hasn’t. People still do this. I mainly hate it because it promotes laziness and screams immaturity and gives the impression that you’ve basically given up and don’t give a shit anymore.

When I was a kid,this was frowned upon and you got made fun of and I can’t believe that’s changed.

Also,fellas,if she can’t match her socks,she’s too young for you,bro!

electoralcollege39. The electoral college

First year selection

Before I begin with my comments, I do want to say that while I wasn’t satisfied with the results of the election (we were screwed either way,kids), I have felt that this has needed to go for a while and that this election is the catalyst for the basis of it being on the list.

I’ve never understood why we have a system that allows a person who wins the most votes of the people to not win an election. It’s as confusing as the BCS was in college football when it came and went.

This is a 200-year-old system that isn’t working anymore. Two of the last five elections have been decided this way and in 2000 the election gave us a terrible President and I feel that we’re about to get the same, all because of the electoral college.

While I feel that we got two awful main candidates for the presidency this time around, it didn’t help that the popular vote lost and that’s what we need to start protecting and not shunning in this country.

The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon - Season 238. CATCH-ALL: Jimmy Fallon’s Donald Trump impression and him being soft on politicians who come on his show

First year selections

I like Jimmy Fallon a lot,I do. I think his show is very good,very funny and innovative, but his impression of Donald Trump isn’t funny to me. Other people find it funny,but I don’t.

Why you ask? Because it paints him in too much of a positive light when in contrast to Alec Baldwin’s impression of him on Saturday Night Live pretty much paints him accurately and is more spot-on than Fallon’s. I think Fallon’s appreciation of Trump is part of what got him elected. Trump appeared on the Tonight Show three times during the campaign while contenders like Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders appeared only once. Some candidates didn’t even get an appearance because they weren’t Donald Trump,who Fallon likes.

I also don’t like that he is soft on guys like Trump when they come on his show. I understand he doesn’t want to offend anyone and wants to be as entertaining and funny as he can be,but when you have someone as polarizing as Trump on your show,you have to in some way hold their feet to the fire. Guys before him like David Letterman,Jay Leno,and Jon Stewart were able to do it all while keeping it light and funny at the same time. It kind of shows that Fallon is still new at this and it’s going to take some time before he learns to be tough on some of his guests he’s trying way too hard to impress.

OpenOnThanksgiving37. Stores being open on Thanksgiving Day

Third year selection: 2016;48,2015;28

While more and more retailers are taking pass on being open on Thanksgiving day, there are still quite a few who do stay open that day and that bothers me greatly.

These people,just like you and me, have families of their own that I’m sure they’d like to be with and they do deserve to have that opportunity. Slowly but surely we as a society are losing the meaning of the importance of family and this is a small reason why. I worked in retail for seven years and used to weasel out of working Thanksgiving because of just that.

I’m glad that many companies are on the bandwagon of staying closed on Thanksgiving,but it’s not big enough. It needs to get bigger and bigger.

rogerjimenez36. Roger Jimenez

First year selection

If you’re not from the Sacramento area,then you may not have a clue who this man is,but he’s terrible and needs to go. Jimenez is a “pastor” at a church called the Verity Baptist Church on the north side of Sacramento. When the tragic Pulse nightclub shooting occurred in Orlando and 49 people lost their lives,Jimenez praised Omar Mateen,the shooter for doing what he did and wishes that he had killed more people inside and referred to the victims,most of whom were gay, as “somodites” and said that he wasn’t sad that they died.

People began protesting his church and the landlord that houses his church in a business park asked that he move out that there was no penalty in the church breaking their lease agreement. As of press time,the church is still in the same location.

This man is the reason why many people have problems with religion in the first place. While yes,he is among the bad apples in it, the good apples who do practice love and acceptance and teach it on a daily basis get unfairly and unnecessarily lumped in with bad apples like Jimenez.

Pastors that teach hate and wish for the deaths of others have no place in preaching or religion altogether. At that point,you’re basically a hatemonger and a borderline terrorist.

boyfrienddaddy35. Girls who call their boyfriend “Daddy”

First year selection

This needed to make it and the reason being is because it’s pretty lame for girls to call their boyfriend “Daddy”, even the variation of “Sugar Daddy” is pretty awful.

It makes it seem as though these girls are being pimped out by their man and they probably have daddy issues. I absolutely could never go out with a girl calling me her daddy, I don’t know how anyone else can stand something like that.

fosterfarmsbowl34. CATCH-ALL: 5-7 teams in college bowl games and about 20-30 of all the college bowl games

First year selections

This is something I actually thought of before the new year right after the list came out and I don’t understand why we not only have all these meaningless bowl games,but teams with 5-7 records in them.

Who wants to watch Ohio vs. Troy in the Dollar General Bowl? Or Maryland vs. Boston College in the Quick Lane Bowl? Or the Belk Bowl?

The answer is nobody. The attendance for these games is atrocious and while I understand these kids get a chance to play in the bowl games and that the schools financially benefit from being in them,but it’s not good football and it’s not something anyone wants to watch.

I think expansion of the current playoff system would be a better thing for college football and I think the time to give eight teams a shot is coming.

mengden33. Handlebar mustaches

First year selection

While I look very terrible with just a mustache, the handlebar mustache is just as bad.

First off,it’s not 1872 and you’re not a detective wearing a trench coat with a pipe in your mouth. Second of all,these are very creepy. Nobody looked creepier than Oakland A’s pitcher Daniel Mengden did with his while he was up from the minors this past season. In fact,he was what inspired this entry.

You wanna know the only acceptable handlebar mustache? The Pringles guy. It seems to suit him okay,but everyone else? Not so much!

faceswapping32. Face swapping

First year selection

Yeah,this is on the list. Why? Because it’s creepy!

Why do I need to see my face on your body or vice versa? It’s not very funny to me at all,in fact,it’s a waste of time.

So many of us waste our time on things like this and turning ourselves into virtual canines and felines that we miss out on other things like actual conversations with people or calling someone back or even voting during the primaries so we don’t have two shitty candidates to choose from in the general election.

Let’s keep our own faces on our own bodies and let’s vote on Primary Day.

bandwagon31. CATCH-ALL: Bandwagon sports fans and the phrase “My second favorite team is…”

Both items have made the list several times

One thing that bothers me when it comes to sports is when someone can’t commit to the same team and,for some reason,has two favorite sports teams.

Look,you can’t be a Giants fan and an Oakland A’s fan. What happens if those teams ever meet in the championship? Who do you pull for? You’re screwed at that point. Don’t be screwed.

Also as dishonorable is when fans latch onto a bandwagon because a team becomes good all of a sudden and they want to be known as a fan of winning team for a change (I’m talking to you,former Kings fan who is now a Warriors fan because of Curry).

Being a loyal fan of a team is kind of like a marriage, times can sometimes get rocky,but if you stick with them, things will work out in the end. Look at all the Cubs fans who waited forever (and I mean FOREVER! for them to win one), how do you think they feel now?

The only pass you get is if the team you rooted for moves away. Pick any team you want to after that,but if they’re not relocating and just suck,then suck it up and wait until things improve.

jeffersonflag30. The idea of the state of Jefferson and the people who support it

Third year selection: 2016;25,2015;51

It’s still laughable that this idea and movement is still out there and it doesn’t appear it’s going away anytime soon.

If you don’t know, there’s a movement to separate most of Northern California to form a new state called Jefferson,something that almost happened 75 years ago. The people that wish to do this claim it’s because of underrepresentation in Congress, but what they don’t know is that even if Jefferson ever came to fruition,they’d still have the same number of representatives in the House.

What they also don’t know is that there have been over 200 attempts to break up the state and they’ve failed. I don’t think it’ll happen anytime soon,nor will Congress allow it. I think we will have a 51st state in my lifetime,but it won’t be at California’s expense.

chipcards29. Chips in ATM cards

First year selection

These are and have been a definite nuisance all in the name of “protecting us”.

Some people still have yet to get a chip in their debit cards,and they’re some of the lucky ones. For all the rest of us who were forced to get these when they were mailed to us or when our former cards expired.

For one,there’s so much to do before you get to put the damn card in,then you have to leave it in for like 45 minutes and can’t take it out until the machine screams at you to do so. Beyond that, if you’re in customer service like me, you have to have a conversation with people about it,which is one of the worst kinds of chats you can have with anyone.

coolbeans28. The phrase “cool beans”

Second year selection: 2016,31

This has made it on the list for a second straight consecutive year and it still needs to go.

It,to me,is a poor way of dressing up a phrase like “Cool” or “Great” or “That’s awesome!”, it’s almost a dismissive way to say those aforementioned phrases. It’s almost like the person who says it doesn’t want anything to do with you to begin with.

Time to do away with the phrase and the laziness of it.

piersonlahren27. CATCH-ALL: Katrina Pierson and Tomi Lahren

First year selections

Two of Trump’s surrogates are paired together on this list and I can’t stand either one of them.

Pierson has become quite terrible on her own. She defended nearly everything Trump said even if it was inappropriate and indefensible. Also,she wore a necklace made of bullets on CNN once and defended it by saying she may wear a fetus next time.
She also said regarding the proposal to ban Muslims “You know what? So what,they’re Muslim!”. Wow,just wow.

Lahren seems like a complete bimbo to me who is utterly clueless about how the world works. She thinks Black Lives Matter is as equal to the Ku Klux Klan (which is a stretch even for me to be on board with) and has stated that “a bunch of sore losers gathered together isn’t a protest, it’s a tantrum.” when in fact dissent is the most authentic form of patriotism. She probably forgot about that in Civics class,if she even took one. She seems like the kind of girl who isn’t fond of books and both her and Pierson show how ugly and terrible politics are and even semi-attractive women can be.

DaylightSavingTime26. Daylight Saving Time

Second year selection: 2016,12

This made the list last year and there was some movement to try and get rid of it this year in California,but it didn’t get very far. I still,however,think its time has come to go.

It’s not fun to have to change clocks back and forth twice a year. This practice doesn’t take place in Hawaii and Arizona,they seem to be doing fine. It’s okay with me to have the sun down at 5pm because if it’s still up at 7pm then that means if I’m driving westward,it’s in my eyes and I can’t see where I’m going.

There’s no value of this practice anymore,it’s almost 2017, let’s do away with this.

ShoesNotOnAllTheWay25. People who don’t put their shoes on all the way

Fourth year selection: 2016,14; 2015,5;2014,2

It’s on the list again this year and it’s still one of my pet peeves.

I’ve never understood how people just put on 3/4 of their shoes and leave their heels out of them and the back of the shoe is smushed. That kinda ruins the show and weakens it,forcing you to have to get new ones that you’ll probably do the same shit to.

I know we all go through shoes pretty quickly in life,but I try to take care of mine so that they’ll last a while. If a moron like me can achieve that,then anything is possible.

 

insurancebox24. That Talking Progressive Insurance Box

First year selection

I hate,hate,hate this fucking commercial and this fucking insurance box.

First of all,when exactly did insurance come in a box? I never received insurance in a box ever in my life. Also, the commercials he’s starred in are terrible. Whether he’s on The Bachelor or doing something else that’s stupid,the commercials are just awful. I think there would be one good commercial,though,where I throw the box in a burning fireplace. It’s time for this box of insurance to be destroyed.

SlippersInPublic23. Wearing slippers in public

Fourth year selection: 2014;58,2013;64,2011;12

This hasn’t made the list in a while to my surprise,but it’s back and people are still doing this. Now,I should amend this by saying that if you’re going to the store to get milk at 10 at night,it’s acceptable to be in slippers and pajamas. But when you’re going to Target at 3pm on a Wednesday is not the appropriate time to be in slippers. That time of day should be reserved for your shoes.

Like with mismatched socks, this practice promotes laziness and we’re becoming way too lazy and way too comfortable in society nowadays.

There’s a reason they’re called house shoes, they’re meant to be worn inside the house,not on the set of Good Morning Football the day after Thanksgiving.

nflsundayticket22. The high price of NFL Sunday Ticket

First year selection

I had NFL Sunday Ticket for three seasons before my mom pulled the plug on it. Though I was miffed at first,I understood the decision and honestly, I’m okay with it.

Why you ask? Because it gets more and more expensive the longer you have it. It’s kind of a drag when you have to spend hundreds and hundreds of dollars per season to guarantee that the team you root for that happens to be distant from you gets seen by your own eyes every week.

If the league wants to look into why ratings were down in 2016, this may be a part of it. When regular fans of out-of-market teams are being priced out,that becomes a problem.

I don’t mind there being a special package like Sunday Ticket, but make it more affordable so that fans can see their teams play every week and so that ratings just might improve.

belichick21. Bill Belichick,the general manager

First year selection

I think Bill Belichick is a phenomenal coach. His four Super Bowl wins prove that and the fact that the Patriots are continuous contenders show how committed he is to winning and keeping a good system in place.

But as the team’s de-facto general manager? I’m pretty skeptical because of the questionable moves he’s made,especially recently.

Like,for instance, trading away Chandler Jones to the Cardinals for guard Jonathan Cooper,who was later released. Or earlier this season when Jamie Collins was shipped to Cleveland over a contract dispute.

It bugs me when he makes a move like this. I think that Belichick,the general manager sometimes screws over the coach with the same name. I think Jones and Collins would’ve helped beat Seattle instead of them being on other rosters. I know it’s a next man up culture on that team,but I wish sometimes they would keep some of the talent on that team. They’d probably have more Lombardi trophies in Foxboro.

Part Five comes your way tomorrow!

 

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