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The Things That Need to Go in 2017,Part Two

things17

Hey Everyone,

Welcome to Part Two of our 2017 list, this list contains items 80-61,in Part One, we had items like the word “Slay”, Scott Baio,and eyelashes on car headlights. Just as a reminder and a disclaimer to all of you: This list is intended for entertainment purposes and should be taken semi-seriously. So on we go with the list. Here’s #80!

Aroldis Chapman80. The MLB trade deadline

Second year selection: 2013;91

If trades happen after the trade deadline in Major League Baseball,then why even have a trade deadline?

I get that teams want to make deals for players who are on sorry teams that want to unload talent for prospects so that they can look to the distant future,but when trades are happening after July 31/August 1 it defeats the purpose of having a trade deadline.

Also,the trade deadline is way too late in the year. Why would you trade for a player who is only going to be there for two months?

Some players are exceptions like Hunter Pence who was acquired at the 2012 deadline, but if you have next to no plans to keep them after you get bounced in October, why even bother?

It absolutely doesn’t make a lot of sense to me and I wish it would just go away.

christmas79. The idea that there’s a “War on Christmas”

Second year selection: 2016;24

This idea that there’s a War on Christmas and Fox News perpetuating it is a falsehood.

First of all,there’s no such thing as a War on Christmas. Over 70-percent of people in America identify as Christian, but about 90-percent celebrate Christmas.

The far right have this idea that because you say “Happy Holidays” or “Season’s Greetings” instead of “Merry Christmas” that you’re anti-American. Also,remember when they got pissy at Starbucks last year over their solid red cup? That was so ridiculous! Those people needed and still need to take some “Get Over It” pills.

My friend Brooke said it best recently, instead of getting upset over someone saying to you “Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas”, be happy that someone thought enough of you to say something nice to you and offer their best wishes during the holiday season in a country where we’re so divided on so much these days.

If you’re wondering why we have so many problems as society, this “War on Christmas” is one of them.

altright78. The Alt-Right movement

First year selection

The alt-right movement has been brewing and has been more in the spotlight since the election ended and these people scare the living shit out of me.

Why? Because these people are some of the most bigoted,hateful,racist,and homophobic I’ve seen yet.

It’s been stated that the alt-right “look(s) back to what they imagine to be a golden age when elites ruled and peons obeyed,” and they believe that “identity is everything and the loss of identity is the greatest crime against self anyone can imagine.”
Andrew Anglin, an alt-right proponent from The Daily Stormer,a neo-nazi newspaper stated that “The goal is to ethnically cleanse White nations of non-Whites and establish an authoritarian government. Many people also believe that the Jews should be exterminated.”

If there’s a group of people that shouldn’t be believing the way they do,it’s this bunch. It’s people like them that make me sad for us as a society and it makes me feel like we’ve been going backwards as far as promoting acceptance and love towards one another in America. They’re literally setting us back 50 years,possibly more.

It's cool that he likes KFC, but that doesn't make him blue collar!

It’s cool that he likes KFC, but that doesn’t make him blue collar!

77. The term “blue collar millionaire/billionaire”

First year selection

This term was brought about this year during the Presidential campaign when people began referring to Donald Trump as a “blue collar billionaire”.

Bitch,please!

Trump is and has never been blue-collar. Nothing about him is blue-collar. This motherfucker was born with a silver spoon in his mouth and even his daddy had a bank account that was designed to rescue him so that when any of his businesses failed or he went bankrupt (again), he would be saved by his father.

It’s not just Trump,it’s every millionaire or billionaire. Once you get into that tax bracket,your collar isn’t blue anymore. It’s as white as Wonder bread and anyone and everyone making that kind of money knows it and deep down,so do you!

trumpstarbucks76. People who order coffee under the name “Trump”

First year selection

This stupid trend was started by the guy who came in at Number 88 on our list,Scott Baio. I decided,however,that this was worthy of its own spot rather than be included as a catch-all with Baio because of how stupid this is and how much attention it needed.

There are people who are ordering their coffee under the name Trump because Baio apparently ordered coffee for his wife under that name and a barista refused to say it. So,in “protest” Baio challenged supporters of Ferret Head,I mean Trump,to order their coffee under the name Trump so that the baristas in the establishment have to say the name on the cup.

It’s not known how many people have done it,but some people did tweet Baio to tell him they participated in it,so it’s happened somewhere.

This is absolutely stupid, it’s not a protest at all if you’re spending money in their establishment. You’re just being an asshole to people on the advice of a washed-up has-been of an actor. End of story!

bae275. The word “bae”

Third year selection: 2016;17,2015;12

This dumb term is back on the list for the third consecutive year.

Though it’s not used as much as it was the last two years it was on the list, it’s still an awful term and I know it’s meant as a term of endearment, but the Danish variation of the term is translated to “poop”. Are you calling my friend a piece of shit? Because that’s what I think’s happening here.

Like I said,the term is losing steam and it feels like it’s the end of the trend,but this term does have to die and I hope it does in ’17!

fakehomeless74. Fake homeless people

Second year selection: 2013;93

This hasn’t made the list in a few years and it’s repeated omissions could no longer be ignored.

Why you ask? Because so many people are faking being homeless to take advantage of people while there are real homeless people who could use more help than these pretenders. These people who are driving Mercedes-Benzes and stealing from all of you should be ashamed of themselves and they should donate everything they stole from you to charities that benefit real homeless people so that they can have the kind of life you have some day.

yodawsj73. People with weak shoe games

First year selection

The term “weak shoe game” can be many things to many people,but my reference is when people are wearing shoes that don’t quite go with what they’re wearing,or they’re being just plain lazy.

Like,for instance, if I see a gentleman wearing a nice dress shirt and slacks and he’s wearing dress sandals with them, that’s just all wrong and pretty weak. Go out to DSW and get some dress shoes,son!

And ladies, why are you leaving the heels at home when they go perfectly with that dress? And you know what? You know they do, you just can’t be bothered to wear them. Instead,you’re in flip flops and impressing no one.

I like to think that when I get dressed up that I do a good job of having a good shoe game going with my dress clothes. I think more people should be putting more effort into their shoe games. I think footwear can make or break what you’re wearing.

Shoes matter,guys. Shoes matter!

fnc72. The idea that Fox News Channel is a legitimate news source

First year selection

Something people are yearning for after this election cycle are legitimate news sources and reliable media they can trust are telling them the truth. One of those places,however,that isn’t a reputable news course is Fox News.

These are the same people who pay Bill O’Reilly $30 million a year to scream at people telling them they’re wrong, who have a right wing agenda, who think there’s a War on Christmas (mentioned already earlier in this part of the list), and that think Ronald Reagan was the greatest President who ever existed.

Even when I hear some of the people who work there speak, it makes me cringe because I feel that although I don’t know much about politics, I’m pretty sure I’m smarter than a lot of these people. I also feel like some of them sold their souls so that they could have a career in broadcasting by any means necessary, and yes,I feel this way about MSNBC,too,because they care more about the establishment than they do about the base of real progressivism (more on that later).

In any sense, if there’s a ringleader in terms of biased,unreliable news,it’s this terrible network.

evilclown71. Terrorist clowns

First year selection

This year was so bad that even clowns got into the act of terrorism.

It all started in South Carolina over the summer when reports surfaced that clowns were spotted trying to lure children into the woods. Several people in Alabama were charged with making threats in relation to “clown-related” activity.

It got so bad that even children who wanted to be clowns for Halloween couldn’t because their school banned them for doing so.

I understand now why one of my friends doesn’t like clowns. These ones in particular are pretty damn scary and I’ll be honest, if I came across one while I was out, I’d probably run for the hills. I never thought I’d see the day when we’d be hiding from clowns who wanted to hurt/kill us,but shit, here we are. We are screwed as a society!

gooddaysacramento70. Good Day Sacramento

First year selection

This is a program I once enjoyed,until that is,I realized that this is a program that is basically a news show for people who haven’t grown up yet.

Not only is it not chocked full of news that you should be getting in the morning,the personalities on the show are far from good journalists. They made national news when they made fools of themselves when interviewing Cara Delevingne and were flat our rude to her.

They also don’t make much mention of personalities who leave the show and it’s almost like they pretend they never left. That’s kind of a big slap in the face to your viewers if you ask me.

I personally enjoy newscasts where the anchors and reporters act like grown ups and there are helicopters involved. I like helicopters!

ted-nugent69. Ted Nugent

First year selection

Ted Nugent is and has been a great musician throughout his career as one,but as a political commentator,he’s pretty shitty.

We all know how conservative he is and we all know how much he loves humping Donald Trump’s leg and all, but claiming that “liberalism is slavery”, that gun control is a “Jewish conspiracy” and that poor people are stupid and should be banned from the voting process. He’s also expressed interest in shooting immigrants who come across the border.

If you feel this man is a quality human being, then you have a different interpretation of what a quality human being is than I do and probably have work to do on determining what proper character in people truly is. Nugent is none of that and is a horrible human being and a huge basket case!

A's alternate68. Oakland A’s fans who constantly bring up 1989 to not just Giants fans,but to everyone

First year selection

I know A’s fans have little to cheer for these days,but when they play the Giants in the Bay Bridge series every year,they waste no time bringing up the fact that they won the 1989 World Series as if it was the greatest thing to ever happen in sports.

Guess what? It wasn’t.

I know that’s the last real moment of glory that team has had and probably will have for some time. Bringing it up to Giants fans has no effect on them anymore since their team has won three championships in the time since the A’s last won,but beyond that, nobody else cares about your last title except for you.

It’s time to stop talking about the last light bulb that worked for you guys and start talking about the future of your team and what it could be.

namingpenis67. Naming your genitals

First year selection

We all have named an inanimate object at some point in our lives. Some of us have names for our cars. Some of us have names for wild animals we’ve met along the way, I even have a name for my office chair at work (Mr. Chair). But I have never,for the life of me, understood why anyone would give names to their genitals.

It was revealed in a survey last year by a British magazine that half of all men have a name for their penises. Beyond that,some of the names that these fellas have given them are weird and just plain too long.

I’m not sure if females do the same thing,but it’s just as weird and just as questionable. You must be bored with life if you have to give something like your genitals a name.

food-porn66. Hashtags like #foodporn and the like

First year selection

What? Yes,this is on the list.

Why? Because for one,it’s not a good hashtag. Second, it’s not porn. Third,a picture of a pizza is not food porn. I highly doubt that anyone beats off to a picture of a pizza,if you do, let’s get you some help.

The proper way to make it so that it is food porn is to have a picture of food having sex with other food. Now THAT’S food porn! Same with other hashtags like #shoeporn,etc. It isn’t porn if it isn’t sexual.

hillary65. Establishment Democrats

First year selection

You want to know why the 2016 election was lost by the Democrats? Because they basically cared more about the establishment and about Wall Street more than they did about working class people.

I was a registered Democrat up until about a month ago when I decided to re-register and declined to state my party. Why? Because the party has moved too close to the center and even to the right a little rather than focus on issues that matter to not only their base,but to regular people who don’t have thousands of dollars to hear their speeches at a private fundraiser for their campaign.

The establishment also slapped Bernie Sanders right across the face by basically pining for Hillary Clinton from the get-go. When I heard an audio tape of how Clinton really felt about supporters of Sanders and what he stood for, it cemented my decision to not vote for her. She basically told me how she felt about the base of the party and as a result,she lost the election.

If the Democrats ever want the White House,they need to clean house, get rid of the establishment Democrats, take the money out of politics and reunite with their base,otherwise the other side is going to be victorious for years to come.

rayraymccloud64. Dropping the ball before reaching the end zone

First year selection

I don’t understand why this epidemic of dropping the ball before you get in the end zone keeps happening.

It started years and years ago with DeSean Jackson and ever since we’ve had player after player (usually a diva receiver) cross the goal line without the ball in their hand because they threw it away at the one-yard line.

Dude,it’s great that you’re about to score,but you have to keep the ball in your hand after you break the plane so it counts for six points. If you throw it away like that,you’re going to make a lot of people very angry.

I can’t believe I’m saying this,but coaches need to get on players so they don’t do it ever again,but they probably won’t!

ricksnyder63. Michigan governor Rick Snyder

First year selection

This is a man who should be ashamed of himself to not only be a terrible governor in a state that deserves much better,but also, he let a lot of his citizens get sick from their tap water.

He had someone change the sourse of the tap water of Flint,Mich. and it led to the water being very corrosive and to the poisoning of the residents. Citizens of Flint still have to use bottled water because the water supply is too unsafe to drink or even wash themselves with.

Snyder pledged to drink tap water from the area for an entire month,but immediately skipped town for a week,effectively breaking that pledge.

How does this guy still have a job after what happened? And how come everyone is letting him off the hook? And how come a proper solution hasn’t come from anyone yet?

It’s time we stop electing morons like him and when they do something as critical as this that their feet get held to the fire.

kkk62. The Ku Klux Klan

First year selection

There were a lot of things that upset people this year,but who would’ve thought the Ku Klux Klan would’ve come back to some sort of prominence this year?

While they aren’t as mighty as they once were,they’re still around and they still have hateful views of the world and of other races.

Other people may dismiss them as hateful country bumpkins with hoods on,but if you ask me, if you’re spewing that kinda hatred with a sheet over your face,you’re a coward who won’t own up to your own racism. Also,you shouldn’t be a racist in the first place.

It’s pretty sad to see that racism is alive and well in America in the year 2016,it’s worse that a group like the KKK is still around to spread that hate around.

faninterference61. Fans who interfere with the field of play

First year selection

Thirteen years after Steve Bartman and we still haven’t learned our lesson that when you’re near a foul or home run ball that can be caught by the player that’s near it, you stay the fuck away from it.

I understand why it’s a fan’s natural instinct to get after a ball that they want as a souvenir,but if you’re near the field of play, get away. Because if you’re the guy who reaches over the fence for it,it may mean a home run for the other team and you’re going to be sent home early by stadium security.

Oh,and for you assbags who run onto the field when there’s a dead ball,you deserve any takedown a player might give you as a result. I’m really sick of seeing this,all of this. You people know better!

We’ll have Part Three tomorrow!

2 replies »

  1. Really enjoying the list so far. I’ve always thought Fox News is a combination of the right’s version of CNN and MSNBC. They have a part that is biased political rhetoric (like hannity and o Reilly) which is the MSNBC part, while their regular news is pretty good (the CNN part). They lean right just as CNN leans left but most news does. They main difference is that the right’s is on the same channel as hannity

    I think Fox News would make a good move if they created a separate channel for their shows

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