Welcome back to our countdown of The Things That Need to go in 2022. This is a collection of the trends, people, phrases,and anything else you can think of that need to go when we arrive at,hopefully,a better new year. This is Part Three of our countdown where we will reveal items 60-41 of the list. 

Disclaimer: This list is for entertainment purposes and is meant to be taken semi-seriously, so keep that in mind when you read the list. We’re just trying to have fun here!

We continue with our countdown and here’s #60!

60. Larry Elder

First year selection

We begin Part Three with someone who ran for Governor for some reason and didn’t win who has absolutely terrible ideas. Elder is a dangerously crazy dude who is very anti-LGBT, thinks the minimum wage should be $0.00 which would lower wages for workers across the board more than they already are,and doesn’t think there’s systematic racism,which there is. He is also against the public school system and thinks there should only be charter and private schools. Also,he lost gracefully. You’re a Republican, you’re supposed to say it was a rigged election and that there was voter fraud and were supposed to set up a voter fraud hotline for me to prank call endlessly. In all seriousness,though,I voted against the recall election,not because I am wild about who is in office now,but to keep crazy people like him away from high public office,and a lot of people I know did just that. I have a feeling this dude is going to run again in 2022 and if he does I hope he loses again. I don’t care to who,but I hope he loses again. We already had a crazy person as President for four years, we don’t need one as governor.

59. People who always wear their glasses on top of their head

First year selection

This one is one I’m gonna have a little fun with because I don’t always wear glasses anymore (Yay for contacts!). I have never understood why some folks wear their glasses on top of their heads all the time. Not some of the time,all of the time. Like,do you even really need them? Why are they on your head? Do you even wear them on your face? What’s going on there? 

One of the worst offenders is Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez who often does this. Yes,they’re sometimes on her face,but oftentimes they rest on her head. Either wear the glasses on your face or don’t wear them at all or get some contacts, they’re really comfortable and you’ll look like a babe! 

58. Compact parking spaces

Fourth year selection

Returning to the list are these tiny little parking spaces that,for some reason,have a little tree you have to park in front of where you have little to no room for yourself to get out of your vehicle and trying to even park in some of them can be anxiety inducing. I don’t think there should be a thing as compact parking spaces, they’re too small and honestly all parking spaces should be equal. Why should anyone have to park in front of a tiny tree sitting in a large flower bed? It doesn’t make any sense to me and shouldn’t be an option whatsoever.

57. Endless NBA alternate uniforms that aren’t in the team’s usual colors

Second year selection

Ever since Nike took over making NBA uniforms they have made a lot of endless and unnecessary alternate uniforms and many of them have been nice,but others are plain ugly and not even in the team’s colors. One in particular is the Orlando Magic,who are for some reason wearing orange. Last I checked their colors are blue,black,and silver, not orange. I get that they’re from Florida and sunshine is orange,but it’s not one of their team colors. Why not make the alternate uniform in their usual colors? Also,why not make them less awful? Did anyone see the Cavaliers’ serial killer ransom note ones last year? That was an atrocious look. Also, memo to the Miami Heat, can we stop with the Miami Vice colors? It’s been done six ways to Sunday and needs to either be retired or you need to make those your actual colors once and for all, make a choice!

56. People who don’t put their shoes on all the way

Eighth year selection

This was the first item on our brainstorming list and it’s usually on here anyways and it continues to happen and it’s unnecessary. Why would you smash the backs of your shoes only because you’re too lazy to put them all the way on? It damages the shoe greatly and only shows that you are not able to handle having nice things. It doesn’t take much effort to put or even keep your shoes on. This is and has been a longtime pet peeve of mine and as long as I see people do this,this will more than likely end up on the list. 

55. One Gotta Go memes

First year selection

I had to put this one on the list because of how much overkill these memes are. They used to be infrequent and not much of a nuisance, but now they’re everywhere and quite annoying. Also,why does one gotta go? Why can’t all of them stay? Also,this seems like a way for someone to guess your non-auto generated passwords. And yes, before any of you comment about this, I am aware of the irony that this item is on a list called The Things That Need to Go in 2022,but it does have to go,much like the items the meme wants you to eliminate. 

54. Bumper stickers

Sixth year selection

I have not been a fan of bumper stickers for a long time now and one of the main reasons why is because they look super tacky and a lot of the statements on them are stupid. I’ve never put a bumper sticker on my current car because I don’t want it to look super tacky or devalue the vehicle in any way by doing that and I also don’t want to be the target of vandalism,which many people have been just by the stickers that are on their vehicles. In the 2000s on my old vehicle I had a window cling of my favorite football team and people decided to egg my car and throw human feces at it just because of that sticker. After that,I decided to never again have that on my car because of the risk associated with it. Bumper stickers are just evil and stupid and need to go like now. Bring back car antennas and antenna toppers instead!

53. Sneakers with suits

Multi-year selection

I see this way too much now and it’s gotta stop. So many people are wearing sneakers with suits and it just doesn’t look right to me. I get that sneakers are more comfortable,but here’s the thing: If a lady has to wear uncomfortable high heels with a dress, the least us fellas can do is wear a nice pair of dress shoes with our suits. Save the sneakers for other occasions where you’re not wearing a suit. 

52. Songs with sirens

First year selection

If you’re an artist and are thinking about using sirens in one of your songs in your next album, do me a favor and not do that. Why do I say that? Because every time I hear a song with sirens in it, it makes me think there’s a real policeman behind me and that I am being pulled over even though I’ve done nothing wrong. Your songs are just frightening innocent motorists and increasing their anxieties while they’re on the road minding their own business. Sirens do not belong in songs anytime whatsoever.

51. The phrase “Do your own research”

First year selection

Ah yes, the top phrase of the anti-science crowd that wants to believe they know more than actual scientists. I love how they think because they Googled something on the internet that they think they know everything about science and what they know is better than the research of skilled scientists who devote their life to researching diseases and other illnesses. Also,they’re just doing research what they already believe and what they already think is true. These are the same kinds of people who flunked science in high school and think just because they watched Bill Nye the Science Guy in grade school that they know everything about science and how it works. Well,you don’t and your research is garbage. Next!

50. Donald Trump

Multi-year selection

The worst President in American history is here at the halfway mark of our countdown. Despite the fact that he lost and is no longer in office, he still hasn’t gone away. He’s still the head of his party,he still holds his Klan rallies, and even though he no longer is on Twitter he is still releasing crazy statements and people still love him even though there’s nothing about him to really love. His own wife doesn’t even love him! I hope this guy never becomes President again and if he does, I will probably have to make like SpongeBob and head out because not everyone likes a sequel. 

49. Stupid TikTok challenges

First year selection

We’ve had an abundance of these over the past year or so and many of them are just stupid. Why would anyone do the milk crate challenge and think they’re so smart and cool doing that? One of the newest ones is called the Slap Your Teacher challenge where you go up to your teacher on camera,slap them and run off. If you do that you should be arrested for assault and charged as an adult. Teachers have to go through enough as it is,including being paid low wages,without some stupid kid slapping them in the face in the name of TikTok. There are other challenges that include,but are not limited to vandalizing property,exposing themselves to other students (which should also net some an arrest) and even stealing eggs from the school cafeteria. I don’t know who comes up with these challenges, but they need to stop and the people accepting the challenge should probably decline instead before they go to jail for it.

48. Paul Gosar

First year selection

Here’s a guy we added late to the list,but his inclusion in this list is absolutely necessary considering how evil he is. Gosar is not only a terrible politician, but he also supported the Jan. 6 insurrection, is a supporter of the Proud Boys and other white supremacist groups and recently was censured for making an anime that depicted Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Joe Biden getting killed. This guy is truly bad news, so much so that many members of his own family urged people not to vote for him in previous political ads. When your own family doesn’t think you’re fit for office, something is terribly,terribly wrong there. He is absolutely terrible for this country and a bad person who needs to get lost entirely. Someone please beat him in 2022!

47. Masks

First year selection

Yes,you read that correctly,masks are on the list,but not for the reason(s) you think. I am not an anti-masker by any means, but let’s be real, they’re not fun to wear, they’re sweaty, they’re uncomfortable,and they fog up your glasses. Some of us don’t even wear our glasses anymore because of masks. Sure,they have cool designs on them including our favorite sports teams and cartoon characters as well,but if you ask me,life would be much better without them and I truly hope that 2022 is the time we can ditch them forever and not have to wear them at all.

46. Trump 2020 flags

First year selection

The latest loser flag is on our list. Why? Because people still fly them as if he didn’t lose the election,which by the way,he did. This flag is now among the long list of second place participation trophies such as the Confederate Flag,the Nazi Flag, statues of Confederate generals (more on those traitors later!) and conference championship banners and trophies. I don’t know why so many people gravitate to people who finished in second place so often,but you should never celebrate finishing second. You’re the first loser. Be somebody,be a winner! Also,you lost,get over it!

45. Empty and flowery phrases that mean nothing

First year selection

So many times during the pandemic a lot of phrases were said to me either in person or by a politician that ended up meaning nothing. I would often hear stupid and flowery phrases like “Be patient,the future is bright” or “There’s light at the end of the tunnel” and more often than not those statements were bold-faced lies and their meaning,if there ever was one, was non-existent. I absolutely hated hearing someone say things like that because it not only meant nothing,but it wasn’t true no matter how many times it’s said. This was also said during the rebuilding years of the Oilers of the early 2010s,but the future wasn’t getting brighter and at the end of the tunnel was continuous darkness and futility. Don’t get me wrong, there are phrases that can be said that are helpful and do make me and others feel better,but they have to have meaning behind them. Phrases like the two I mentioned don’t really do that and mean nothing to me. 

44. The Edmonton Oilers in navy blue

First year selection

Don’t get me wrong,I love my Oilers and will cheer them on no matter what colors they wear, but seeing them in navy blue instead of royal blue makes me sad. They had such a classic look with the royal blue and orange uniforms they were wearing until 2017 when they switched to navy blue. I really feel like they should switch back to royal blue like they did when they won five Stanley Cup championships. Sometimes a team has such a classic look that shouldn’t be messed with and the Oilers are one of them.

43. The “War on Christmas”

Seventh year selection

Another item that has been an annual staple is the so-called War on Christmas. This war that isn’t real usually has right-wingers upset over Santa Claus not on a coffee cup at Starbucks or someone saying Happy Holidays to them instead of Merry Christmas or someone having the audacity to celebrate Hanukkah. It’s just another thing for people to be offended by and the act is truly growing to be very old. Do these people not know that 75-percent of Americans identify as Christian and that 90-percent of them celebrate Christmas? There is no such thing as a war on Christmas. People love this holiday,like a lot. Just because someone says Happy Holidays to you doesn’t mean they’re trying to offend you, you’re just searching for something to be offended at. You should be lucky if anyone says anything nice to you at all. Time to end this so-called war once and for all,but it’s highly unlikely because this is America and all we ever do is go to war,so…

42. Mullets

First year selection

Yes,these awful haircuts are on the list. Why? Because they’ve made a semi-comeback in the last year or so. I’ve seen quite a few of them this year,probably the most I’ve seen since the 1980s where (sigh) I rocked one,too. I have no idea how or why the worst haircut in history is back,but it needs to go. It’s not 1989 anymore and you’re not in the NHL or Billy Ray Cyrus,it’s time to send that haircut back to Alabama where it belongs.

41. Mike Lindell

Second year selection

Let’s end Part Three with America’s biggest election denier and the guy who kisses Trump’s ass the hardest, that would be Mike Pillow himself. Not only are his pillows terrible,but he’s shown to be one of the nuttiest people ever by still staunchly claiming the election was stolen and that people as old as 850 voted for Biden last year. He also has this terrible channel called Lindell TV that always has technical issues and keeps pushing back the day that Trump is supposedly getting reinstated as President and that the Supreme Court will rule 9-0 that the election is invalid. Mike, get over it, your boy lost and it’s time to move on, get some professional help and move on with your life. You’re a mess and anyone who has seen any of your videos that isn’t brainwashed by you can see it.

Part Four comes your way tomorrow!