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The Things That Need to Go in 2019-Part Three


Welcome back to The Things That Need to Go in 2019 list and we’ve arrived at Part Three of our annual countdown. In the last part,we tackled items such as telling disaster victims to “have a good time” to joint Facebook accounts to candy corn. Now we’re at the halfway point and Part Three. In this section,we’ll reveal numbers 60-41 of the things,trends,and other stuff that need to bid us adieu in the new year.

Disclaimer: This list is is intended for entertainment purposes and should be taken semi-seriously,but more seriously than past years.

On with the list,here’s number 60!

JamesWoods60. James Woods

First year selection

We begin Part Three with a man who used to be a top-flight actor who is now a right-wing hack who has nothing constructive to say.

I’m pretty sure he spends his days of being a has-been actor just saying wacky shit on Twitter,mainly because he can’t get any acting work anymore and maybe even to a point of how big of an asshole his character was on Family Guy. He’s said so many dumb things on Twitter that he was even blocked from there for a time.

Honestly,James,you should probably get a hobby. Go golfing, just do something. Stop trying to be the 71-year-old version of Alex Jones and writing crazy shit on social media. No wonder your agent dropped you!

Also,I’m so glad you’re not among the Hollywood elite anymore. You’re old,washed up and don’t have any talent to act anymore.

NewYorkFanBooing59. New York sports fans who boo their draft picks

Second year selection

We’ve seen it at draft after draft after draft after draft. New York sports fans gathering at every NFL and NBA draft and boo whoever the hell it is the team picks. Whether it be the Knicks,Giants,or Jets, these doofuses don’t seem to care,they just boo because they want to.

When Kevin Knox was drafted ninth overall in this year’s NBA Draft, he was booed mercilessly by fans young and old,not to mention immature. Not to mention the same guy who was visibly seen booing Kristaps Porzingis at the ’15 draft also booed Knox just to be an asshole about it.

I get it,you’re New York. You’re big and bad and like to boo. Enough already! Maybe you should spend more time cheering the guys that are already on your team on to victory,if they ever win anything!

ShoesNotOnAllTheWay58. People who don’t put their shoes on all the way

Fifth year selection

This has made it back to the list after a year away and although it missed last year’s cut,this is something I still see from time to time and it’s annoying.

I’ve never understood how people just put on 3/4 of their shoes and leave their heels out of them and the back of the shoe is smushed. That kinda ruins your footwear and weakens it,forcing you to have to get new ones that you’ll probably do the same thing to.

I know we all go through shoes pretty quickly in life,but I try to take care of mine so that they’ll last a while. If a moron like me can achieve that,then anything is possible.

stephen-miller57. Stephen Miller

First year selection

If there’s anyone in the White House is the embodiment of the racism that comes from it,it’s this douchebag.

Stephen Miller,who is somehow from Santa Monica,Calif., looks like a man who grew up in Missouri and hates anything that isn’t white. I mean,just by looking at him you can tell he’s a Nazi. He has that white nationalist look that not even a mother could love.

And listening to him is something that I can’t do for very long because of all the terrible stuff that comes from it in the rare times they let his mutant ass on television.

I think he’s survived being fired because a lot of the racist policies that have been enacted were probably his ideas,so in order to continue getting more of them,they keep him around.

56. Stanton Optical’s weird ass commercials

First year selection

Every day when I get ready for work during the commercial breaks on the local news I see these weird commercials for a eyewear chain called Stanton Optical. They’ve had weird ones in the past where a pair of glasses makes karate noises and squeezes itself and a second pair of glasses emerges. This latest patch of weirdness comes in the form of a guy who looks like a villian from the movie Zoolander who sends his minions to go get glasses from Stanton and gets mad over the deals they got from the retailer.

I don’t get it. I never have and probably never will. Maybe that’s the idea of the commercials and even the borderline appeal of them,but nonetheless,they’re weird and I don’t want to think about how weird they are on my way to work. It just adds more confusion.

So if Stanton could make better commercials and make less blurry glasses for their customers,that would be awesome!

BillMaher55. Bill Maher

Second year selection

If anyone thinks I’m one of those progressives who admires this guy,you’re quite mistaken. Bill Maher is a centrist hack who worships the ground that establishment Democrats like Hillary Clinton and Nancy Pelosi walk on. They can do no wrong in his eyes.

He’s one of those Democrats who want people like me to get over the fact that Hillary Clinton was the nominee in 2016 and unite with him as well as an establishment that had and still had a losing strategy in my opinion.

Not only that,but his criticism of Stan Lee after the man died recently was more than I could take and actually as a result bumped him up from 78th originally to the current spot. That made me dislike him more than I did originally and this was a guy who used to have a lot of backbone who would urge all sides to be better. Instead,he’s a hack who continues to show us who he really is-a man who stands up for the losing cause.

coolbeans54. The phrase “Cool Beans”

Third year selection

One of the sayings I’ve not liked in a long time is “Cool beans.” Why? Because it’s a lazy alternative way of saying “Awesome!” or “Great!” or “Nice!”

Also,I cringe every time I hear or read it. I almost want to go “Come on,really?”, it’s that bad!

Furthermore,beans aren’t supposed to be cool. They’re supposed to be warm. If you’re eating cool beans,you’ve pretty much given up on life.

NametheTeam53. Name the team contests

Second year selection

When I was younger I thought that contests to name new sports teams were truly up to the fans. That is,until it was revealed that the people who own the team already have the name of the team in place and they just hold these contests to see if anyone picked the name they came up with and if they did,they win a free TV or something like that.

Why waste everyone’s time if you’re already going to name the team what you want to name it? Spare us the fake contest and just announce the name of the team already. Most of the fans are going to hate it anyway.

guns52. People who think the government is after their guns

First year selection

This had to make the list for me because I hear this way too often and it has yet to happen.

Here’s why it won’t. First of all, it’s way too easy for people who shouldn’t have a gun to begin with to get one. Secondly, you have government officials who enjoy taking money from gun lobbyists so that they vote on their side,therefore making the argument invalid.

The people who say that the government is after their guns are really mad that some in power want to do something to curtail the mass shootings that keep happening in the only country where they regularly happen. It’s something that I’m sick of seeing this country be known as. I think it’s time we did something,anything about it,and seeking some sort of legislation making sure people with severe mental health issues don’t end up with gund that they don’t need to have is a start as well as doing something to help those with mental health issues.

Unfortunately we won’t get that because gun money talks much,much louder.

insurancebox51. The Progressive talking insurance box

Third year selection

Yes,for the third time in the history of the list this stupid insurance box made our list.

First off,insurance doesn’t come in a box.Ever. If if has,send me a picture of it to one of the 39 social media platforms all of us are on and I’ll believe it.

Also,I hate how his lifestyle is better than mine. He’s out there buying chinchillas and shopping for houses and flying first class. Like,what the hell,man? Why is a box having a better life than me. I want a house and to fly first class, I don’t really want a chinchilla,but that’s beside the point.

I’m done seeing him and I’d rather watch Flo and her co-workers in their matching Converse All-Stars helping folks out with their insurance,not some spoiled insurance box.

BucksCityEdition50. Endless NBA alternate jerseys

First year selection

Ever since Nike took over outfitting the NBA, they have had way too many alternate uniforms for each team. So much so that at times I can’t tell who is playing who.

Like when a team goes back to its old colors for a game and the other team wears colors that aren’t officially theirs, it gets confusing. Not to mention that teams don’t have to wear white at a lighter color at home anymore,making matters worse.

I think if we had no more than three uniforms, one home,one away,and one alternate for each team,we’d be better off. Teams don’t need a different uniform for every game.

MiloY.jpg49. Milo Yiannapolous

Second year selection

This limey prick is back on our list for the second year in a row,but not as high on the list as last year.

For some reason, Yiannapoulos is a conservative and a champion for conservative causes despite the fact that he’s not even from this country and he’s gay. Gay people aren’t supposed to be Republicans. That’s voting against your own kind, that would be like a whale being supportive of the rights of whalers. It’s not practical.

But the reason he’s not so high on the list is because of how much he’s been deplatformed. Now,I don’t agree with deplatforming people because we supposedly live in a free society and we should let people say what they need to,but at the same time, this guy doesn’t bring anything necessary to the table as far as making this country or his country any better.

Blaming Democrats48. Blaming the Democrats for everything

First year selection

Before I begin,let me be clear that I’m not a Democrat anymore and a lot of them who are in power now are people I wouldn’t vote for if my life depended on it. However, not everything that happens is their fault and it’s something that Donald Trump does ad nauseum and his base,who by the way are a large group of sheep, swallows up the rhetoric and repeats it as if it were the truth. It’s nearly sickening.

Do the Democrats do a lot of things that aren’t helping any of us? You’re damn right,they do. Is everything their fault as Trump claims? Nope,mainly because a lot of the things that he blames them for are his fault,let’s not forget that.

Can you imagine if any other president blamed the other side for everything,especially if it’s their fault? They would be slammed tirelessly. Instead,we somehow just accept it because Trump is who he is,a 72-year old child of a man who has dementia and,for some reason,has all the power. It’s a sad state of affairs.

The_Conners47. TV show reboots

Second year selection

If there’s anything we’ve learned the last few years,it’s that Hollywood is officially out of new ideas for television ideas,hence why so many have come back from years ago.

From Full House to Roseanne/The Connors to Murphy Brown to Magnum P.I.,we’ve been inundated with shows coming back as if they were new shows altogether and that there was evidence that we actually missed them.

I wish these networks and studios would contact me,I have a ton of ideas for new shows.

I seriously should write a pilot for one and submit it,I don’t think it would be any worse than the shows they’re bringing back now.

manbun46. Man buns

Fourth year selection

So this is something I don’t see as much, but it’s still terrible. Why? Because buns should be for the ladies!

Not only are some guys still sporting man buns,but some are also sporting fake ones. Really? A fake one? Somehow that seems worse to me.

Under what circumstances would you need a fake man bun let alone a real one? Beyond that, it’s unappealing, it’s unattractive,and it’s grounds for your Man card to be revoked.

KathyGriffin45. Kathy Griffin

First year selection

Sorry, liberals and centrists, but I cannot stand Kathy Griffin. For one,she’s not funny.

Another,I found her picture of Donald Trump’s bloody head in her hands to be in poor taste despite the fact that I felt she had the first amendment right to do it.

But the main reason she’s on this list is her voter shaming (which yes,we covered in Part Two,but who cares?) when it comes to people who didn’t vote for Hillary Clinton and instead voted for the likes of Jill Stein. She said in a tweet that people who did so “can go to hell…they helped to bring us this horrific administration.”

That’s not true,Kathy! The 62 million who gave Trump their vote without hesitation played a major role in that,combined with people who didn’t vote at all and your girl Hillary taking states like Pennsylvania,Michigan,and Wisconsin for granted and mistakenly having those states “in the bag”. Maybe the DNC should offer us a candidate we’d actually like to vote for instead of a corporate centrist who had nothing to offer her base,thought it was “her turn” to be President,and felt you should vote for her because she “wasn’t Donald Trump”.

Maybe it’s you that can go to hell with that kinda trash statement.

Disneylandresort.jpg44. People who complain about Disneyland being too expensive

First year selection

I get it,Disneyland is expensive. If Walt Disney came back to life and saw how much things cost,he would be livid because this park is supposed to be a place we all can enjoy at a reasonable cost.

However,hasn’t anyone thought about the fact that going on vacation is usually expensive? Also,those who think it’s too expensive haven’t thought of ways of saving money when thinking of going. Don’t get me wrong,I do hope it is more affordable for people to go one day,but complaining about it all the time doesn’t help matters.

There are many ways to find a way to make it work and I’m more than happy to share some of my ideas on how to do so someday,but for now let’s move on.

SuperBowlLIII43. Boring Super Bowl logos

First year selection

I can’t believe we haven’t had this on the list before,but I guess it’s time we did,and for good reason.

It used to be that a Super Bowl logo would be unique to the region it was being played in and was colorful and vibrant. Now,the logos are carbon copies of one another year after year with the Roman numerals and the Lombardi trophy embedded with it. The logo is kind of a yawner now.

I think it’s time that Super Bowl logos got back to the way of being creative and innovative. It can’t be that hard and I’m sure there are illustrators and graphic designers out there who can create a superb logo,much better than the ones that exist now.

TimDraperCal3.jpg42. CATCH-ALL: Tim Draper and the idea of splitting California into two or more states

Fourth year selection

Tim Draper is a venture capitalist who is heavily invested in Bitcoin and is very hard-pressed to split up California into two or more states and honestly,he needs to stop it.

In 2014, he had a proposal to split it into six states and this year a petition he was the author of got enough signatures to split California into three states,but it was blocked from appearing on the ballot by the California Supreme Court.

I’m so tired of seeing these proposals to split up this great state. Y’all have tried over 240 times to do it and it’s failed each time. It’s like going after the girl who doesn’t want to go out with you over and over again.

California is fine the way it is. Sure,there are flaws with it,but every state has them. If you want to be better represented, either vote your conscience and hope for the best,or move to another state,there are 49 to choose from at press time.

CollegeHard41. College students that complain about how hard college is

Third year selection

We end Part Three with this third year selection and I had to have it on here again. Why? Because there are bigger things to complain about than school being hard.

Kids,school (and more specifically,college) is supposed to be hard. Not just school,but life is hard,and it’s getting harder and harder now. If you think it gets easier as time goes on, it’s not happening. Unless,of course,you’re rich and your family has money,then you’ll be okay.

I get tired of seeing the comments about it being hard on social media. Speaking of that,don’t announce that you’re taking time away from social media because college is so hard. Nobody cares and nobody will notice if you’re gone.

We’ll have Part Four tomorrow!

1 reply »

  1. I TOTALLY agree with #44! Give it up people! I, too, agree it’s expensive but I save my money so I can afford to go! If you can’t afford to go THEN GO SOMEWHERE ELSE!

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