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The Things That Need to Go in 2019-Part Four


Welcome back to The Things That Need to Go in 2019 list and we’ve arrived at Part Four of our annual countdown. Part Three covered things such as those who complain about Disneyland being too expensive,man buns,and Bill Maher,just to name a few. In this section,we’ll reveal numbers 40-21 of the things,trends,and other stuff that need to bid us adieu in the new year.

Disclaimer: This list is is intended for entertainment purposes and should be taken semi-seriously,but more seriously than past years.

Here we go with Part Four,here’s number 40…

SlippersInPublic40. Wearing slippers in public

Sixth year selection

This is on the list yet again for the sixth time and third consecutive year.
I’ve actually seen this as recently as this week and it bugs the hell out of me. Why? Because it’s laziness at its best.

Now,if it’s like 10:30 at night and you’re out of milk or whatever and you’re at Raley’s getting it,I have no problem with that. But if you’re at Target at 3 in the afternoon and doing this,it’s because you can’t be bothered to put on real shoes.

I don’t know if you know this,but it isn’t hard to put shoes on. I do this everyday and it’s pretty easy. Not only that,but as I’ve said years before,there’s a reason why your slippers are called house shoes.

HQtrivia39. HQ Trivia’s glitches

First year selection

I love playing HQ trivia. I play just about every day that I have time and a few of my friends are playing as well. However,there is one thing I’m not fond of that happens in the game,well two if you count Sarah Pribis not hosting enough. But for right now,let’s focus on the main thing,the glitches in the game.

I get that it’s a live mobile game show and that technical issues happen,but the glitches are far too frequent for an operation of HQ’s stature. You would think it would be something they would’ve addressed by now,but it doesn’t seem like they have. As a result,there have been many games that have had to restart or stop altogether because of frequent glitches and also,not everyone is able to hang for the game to reset.

Come on,HQ, fix them glitches in your game.


38. Ted Nugent

Third year selection

This piece of white trash made our list yet again this year,and it’s because he’s a piece of white trash shit who is an overrated musician and is just as senile and demented as his precious “President”.

Don’t believe me? He’s called gun control a Jewish conspiracy”, thinks poor people should be banned from voting, thinks liberalism is “slavery”,and once threatened an American president and wasn’t charged for it. He also called his home state of Michigan a “shithole” after the mid-terms because his fellow Michiganians decided to vote smartly this time around.

Ted oughta know about shitholes,his was in a diaper so he could avoid going to Vietnam. I can’t stand this meathead of a person who should probably seek loads of professional help.

ChucksDisneylanf.jpeg37. People who make poor shoe choices for Disneyland

First year selection

Having been to Disneyland three times this year and embarking on my fourth trip in a few short days (which is why the list came out so early this year), I’ve seen people make the smartest of shoe choices,but then I’ve seen the poorest of shoe choices for the trip.
For starters,the ladies in heels. I know,they look fabulous and there’s no argument here, but is that how you really want to spend the day? In pain? Unless you’re there on a date night and can take it like a boss,then leave those beauties at home for another time.

Also,leave those Converse All-Stars at home or in your hotel room. In each trip I have been on,I have seen Chucks wearers take theirs off,smash the heels of them,or have seen them carry them out as they’re leaving the park. Why? Because as cool as these shoes are,they’re also lacking a lot of support for your feet. I made the mistake of wearing a pair on a trip in 2014 and felt like my feet were going to fall off.

If you want your feet to feel somewhat fine, get a good pair of running or walking shoes and you should be fine. I recommend the Nike Tanjun runners (in burgundy if you can find them), they’re excellent!

BhadBhabie36. Bhad Bhabie

First year selection

You may remember her as Danielle Bregoli,the “Cash Me Outside” girl from Dr. Phil,but you also might know her now as Bhad Bhabie and she’s apparently a rap artist now,and not really a good one.

The 15-year-old “artist” was the youngest rap artist ever to hit the Billboard 100 chart. However,just because something is popular doesn’t mean it’s any good (See: Donald Trump).

Not only that, but her lip-synching is way off as you can see in the video above. Also,she’s singing about a white Porsche when she’s clearly in a Mercedes. Way to mess that up!

Anyways, she’s on the list but I have a feeling that her 15 minutes of fame will be up soon unless someone decides to draft her for Dancing with the Stars someday.

probowlslamdunk.png35. CATCH-ALL: The NBA Slam Dunk Contest and the NFL Pro Bowl

Fourth year and second year selections

These two events are in the “Why are we still funding this?” column because they’re old and tired and don’t have any real value anymore. Kinda like arcade tokens.

First the Pro Bowl,nobody watches it and nobody wants to play in it and it’s played during the off-week before the Super Bowl now in Orlando,not Hawaii because Aloha Stadium is rusting away.

Not only that,but it’s not a game where any real tackling is going on or anything of excitement for that matter. It’s just a bunch of borderline alternates who aren’t playing in the Super Bowl playing a game that doesn’t count in the standings.

Being named All-Pro should just be an honor now and that’s it. There’s no saving this game and no reason to play it.

As for the Slam Dunk contest, it doesn’t ever contain anybody we’ve heard of.

Sure,Donovan Mitchell won it this year,but how many of you had to Google that before I told you?

It’s all a bunch of dunks we’ve seen already from past years and not only that,but I’m still not over the fact that it was fixed when Blake Griffin won it. The authenticity of it to me is forever in question until they get rid of the event.

34. People who blare their music that I don’t care about

Third year selection

This is back yet again for the third time and for good reason. A lot of times I’ll be out driving and pulling next to me is some wiseguy who is blaring their music in some souped-up car that’s valued at $1100 even with the cosmetic crap they put on it.

It’s loud and annoying and makes me wish you weren’t in the lane next to me. It also happens when I’m in the parking lot of a grocery store or my place of employment and it’s not only annoying,but too damn loud.

Now,if it was music I liked,there’d be less of a bother on my part. However,since a lot of it is music that’s not only awful,but not my cup of tea,it’s on the list!

KirkOwens.png33. CATCH-ALL: Charlie Kirk and Candace Owens

First year selections

Charlie Kirk and Candice Owens are two conservative commentators who I can’t stand.

Let’s start with the unhinged Kirk. He’s this kid who runs Turning Point USA thinks he’s smarter than everybody when in fact that doesn’t seem to be the case.

Not only that,but his recent book was criticized for having little original content and other people’s quotes and tweets. He’s also a guy who can dish it,but can’t take it as evidenced at Politicon not too long ago. It was honestly pretty hilarious to see this kid take a swipe just so we could see how mature he really is. Take a look:

Owens on the other hand certainly isn’t helping her people with her own cause. She sold out in order to become one of the token black people to support Trump and conservatism and has made claims that white nationalism on the rise isn’t happening,the bombs sent to prominent Democrats were fake,and argues that police violence against black people is not about racism.

I disagree with about all she says and is only doing it to be famous for being different. I bet you anything that not long ago she was a liberal and she saw dollar signs and therefore sold out her beliefs to become who she is now. I don’t buy any of it.

32. Unfunny Super Bowl commercials

Third year selection

Not only do I hate when commercials are released early,but I additionally haven’t cared for ads during the Super Bowl that fail to have me laughing my ass off.

When I was younger these commercials were a big highlight of the whole day. Beyond that, I want to be entertained during the commercial break,not depressed or have to think about stuff. I don’t want to be crying during a commercial break for the biggest game of the year, I want to be laughing to the point where I can’t breathe.

Can the president of television please bring the funny back into the Super Bowl commercial game? That’d be great!

Gutfeld31. CATCH-ALL: The idea that conservatives are funny and Greg Gutfeld

Second year selection

I hate to break it to the right wing,but y’all aren’t funny. Not only are your attempts at it lame,but it’s come to my attention that it’s hard for you to take a joke that’s clearly funny to all of us who have senses of humor.

Beyond that,but shows like Last Man Standing and Roseanne aren’t funny. The problem is that when the right tries to be funny,they put the politics before the humor,and it turns out bad. Jokes fall flat for them for some reason,and that reason is that they’re not funny.

As for Greg Gutfeld,he is far from funny. I don’t know why he still has a show after all this time because his humor is non-existent. Show me someone on the right who’s funny and I’ll show you some oceanfront property in Nevada.

Just face it,liberals have more of a funny bone and nail it. Look at late-night television, it’s been dominated by the left for a long,long time. The right are an easy target and have a hard time taking a joke,even when it’s deserved.

NikesBurning30. Boycotts of outrage

First year selection

We’ve arrived at another Keepin’ it Real selection and here’s one that I’ve been waiting to put on here all year long and both sides are guilty of it,more so on the right,though.
These boycotts of outrage aren’t making you right,they’re making you look silly.

Everything from Keurig to Harley-Davidson and even Nike has made these snowflakes destory everything they own despite the fact that these respective companies already have their money. That right there is proof that your boycott didn’t work.

I get it,these places don’t reflect your “values”,whatever that means,but at the same time,it’s not going to stop me from spending my money with them. Sure,there are places I don’t go for various reasons,but you don’t see me destroying something to put on social media. That’s just being an attention whore for the sake of being an attention whore. You’re not showing anyone that you mean business,you just want people to look at you.

Stop it,get some help!

JesseDuplantis29. Televangelists

Second year selection

Thirteenth on our list last year,these money-grubbing bible thumpers are back on our list and for good reason,they give religion the worst of names and are only in this to profit off of it.

I highly doubt that these guys even care about religion other than being able to profit off of it. Joel Osteen,Pat Robertson,Kenneth Copeland,they’re all bad with their television shows and their megachurches and they tell their followers how God told him that he needs to get his church members to get him a plane or he’ll die (Google Oral Roberts!). Jesse Duplantis (pictured) had his flock do nearly the same thing.

They also have a political agenda and it’s always towards conservatism. You don’t see Robertson hanging out with Hillary Clinton or singing the praises of people like Bernie Sanders or the like. It’s always the likes of horrible people like Donald Trump or Mike Pence or (insert god-crazy right winger here).

These dudes are clearly not friends of religious causes whatsoever and have turned me off to religion more as a result.

SplitAsGiantsHat28. The split A’s-Giants hats

Second year selection

The only other thing stupider than that Bay Bridge trophy the A’s won this year is the split A’s-Giants hats that some fans wear whenever these two teams play as if to say they’re fans of both teams.

Let me settle this for you: Pick a damn side!

You can be an A’s fan or you can be a Giants fan,but both is out of the question. That would be like being married to two or more women at the same time. Beyond that,if they ever meet in the World Series, you don’t know who to root for and you’re screwed. Don’t be screwed!

As much as I don’t like when fans burn jerseys or other apparel,I can make an exception here (More on that in a minute).

christmas27. The “War on Christmas”

Fourth year selection

The continued nonsense of there being a War on Christmas has made the list yet again. That’s not a thing!

Let’s go over the statistics. Over 70-percent of people in America identify as Christian, but about 90-percent celebrate Christmas. This idea that because you say “Happy Holidays” or “Season’s Greetings” instead of “Merry Christmas” that you’re anti-American is pretty ridiculous.

If anyone says anything nice to you at all during this time of year,you should be pretty damn thankful,especially during the times we’re in now where we’re more hateful towards one another. Offering someone their best wishes during a festive should be celebrated,not scoffed at.

BurningLeonardJersey.png26. Fans who burn their jerseys

Second year selection

This is something I’ve long been against and become too much of an epidemic.

Why is it that fans do this once a player leaves their team in search of greener pastures?

My belief is that they do it to be attention whores and to get views on YouTube of their act of burning their laundry.

A better thing that you could’ve done instead of burning,pissing,or shitting on that jersey is to donate it to charity so that someone else who has never been able to afford a jersey because they’re so expensive can have a jersey of their own. In fact,I know of folks who will be more than willing to take it off your hands to give to someone else. You can message me anytime or leave comment at the end of this entry if you want to make that donation.

sneakerssuitgown.png25. CATCH-ALL: Wearing sneakers with suits and evening gowns

Multiple year selections

This happens way too much nowadays and by this I mean the practice of wearing sneakers with suits. The guys on NFL Network do it and the guys on ESPN do it,too.

Why? Is it that hard to find a good pair of dress shoes or are you just not wanting to wear them? I think it’s the latter. I get that sneakers are more comfortable than dress shoes,but shoes make the suit look even better.

Same goes for the ladies who try and pass off sneakers as proper to wear with an evening gown. It just doesn’t work. Go shopping for a nice looking pair of heels and enjoy the night. Forget about how painful they might be and think about how awesome you look from head to toe. You too,fellas!

ProudBoys24. The Proud Boys

First year selection

This had to make the list because these guys promote political violence and are part of why society is so awful today,especially politically.

These guys have been involved in violent activities in Berkeley, Halifax,Nove Scotia,Canada,and even Charlottesville last year and have been branded as a while nationalist group by the FBI.

They also have a weird initiation process that has four stages and includes hazing. The first stage is a loyalty oath, the second is getting punched until the person recites pop culture trivia, the third is getting a tattoo and agreeing to not masturbate, and the fourth is getting into a major fight “for the cause.”

Any group where porn and masturbation aren’t allowed is one you shouldn’t join whether you want to punch your political opponents or not,just sayin’

23. CATCH-ALL: Men who call their wives “Mother” and Girls who call their boyfriends “Daddy”

First year and third year selections

One thing that makes me laugh is men who call their wives “Mother” as if it’s still the thing to do. One person who still does this is Mike Pence,which doesn’t surprise me in the least,but it’s still weird nonetheless.

It’s not 1936 anymore,guys,and I’m sure even your wives think it’s weird. Yes,even Karen Pence.

As for the ladies, you calling your boyfriends “Daddy” is also strange. Why? Because it makes you seem desperate and/or sluttier than you really are and you probably had Daddy issues at some point.

So to both sexes,knock it off!

OverdramaticWeatherman.jpeg22. Overdramatic weatherpeople

First year selection

I can’t believe I’ve never put this on the list before,but I guess now is as good of a time as any to do so.

These weather people who go into a hurricane aren’t proving themselves as brave anymore,instead they’re showing us how big of clowns they are. 

See the clip above where the guy is acting like it’s very windy and rainy and he can’t keep his feet on the ground while two people behind him are walking by without any trouble whatsoever.

You guys need to stop embarrassing yourselves when it comes to hurricane coverage.

Stop acting like you’re in danger when you’re really not. You’re not convincing anyone that you are otherwise and it’s going to be much harder to take you seriously in the future when you’re crying wolf now.

WarriorsSuperTeam21. CATCH-ALL: NBA superteams and the lack of parity in the NBA

Third year selection

We end Part Four with something from last year’s list and it’s back because honestly,I’m done seeing the same two teams make the NBA Finals every year and a lack of parity in the league. I know the Cavaliers suck now that LeBron became ESPN’s “King of L.A.”,but you get my point.

In my view, having all the good players in the league on a select few teams is going to do nothing but hurt the league down the road. When fans decide not to support their team because it’s been a long time since they got a good team on the floor and a chance at a playoff berth.

There’s a lot the NBA needs to do and should do to make the league more competitive and to keep good players in cities that are more small market than most and I’ve offered those ideas in past columns and other entries,the league just doesn’t seem interested in doing that. Even they know that parity needs to happen,but they refuse to do it because of how well things are going for them now.

I do think that having parity would make the NBA a much better league for the teams that aren’t enjoying the successes they should be enjoying.

We’ll have Part Five tomorrow!

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December 2018
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