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The Things That Need to Go in 2013, Part Five


We’ve covered the first four parts already and it’s time for Part Five. Part One brought us fanny packs and Bob’s Burgers. Part Two covered people who are addicted to Disneyland and those who think hookah is safe to smoke. Part Three highlighted things like The Pro Bowl and The T-Mobile girl’s new image that sucks. Part Four brought us flash mobs and all Facebook political posts. Part Five begins with Number 20…

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA20. CATCH-ALL:Hats with both the Giants and A’s logos on them and The friendliness of the Giants-A’s rivalry

During the postseason last month, we had Giants fans pulling for the A’s during their postseason run and this absolutely disgusted me. If you’re an A’s or Giants fan, you cannot root for both teams. You have to pick one. This should not be as friendly of a rivalry as it is and has been.

Giants fans, do you not know that the A’s have two more titles than your team does since both teams have been in the Bay Area?Doesn’t that piss you off a little?

And A’s fans, don’t you see how much good fortune the Giants have had since moving to AT&T Park and think “Damn, I wish we had that?”. Instead of guessing who the hell is on the team now, Giants fans have the luxury of knowing who is there and that has to be bothersome to A’s fans.

And as for the dual Giants-A’s hats, there needs to be a big bonfire full of those sometime before Opening Day. Don’t ever wear one of those and don’t ever get me one, I won’t wear it.

miraclewhip19. Miracle Whip

2012: 10

Unlike a lot of people, I actually like mayonnaise. This isn’t that. Miracle Whip sucks! If it’s the only thing in my refrigerator and we’re out of mayonnaise, I will just have a blank piece of bread with my sandwich because nothing at all is better than Miracle Whip.

The miracle is that people actually like it. I still for the life of me don’t know why and that’s why it’s made the list again.

Hipster18. Hipsters

I just don’t get it. These are the kind of people who probably hang out st Starbucks listening to Gotye on their iPod on Pandora, wearing scarves along with a short-sleeve shirt and large black eyeglasses that may or may not have lenses in them and that they may or may not need. They’re probably also wearing skinny jeans and a pair of TOMS with no socks as well.

I get that some of us don’t want to be mainstream or do what everyone else is doing,but this is just ridiculous. Again,I just don’t get it.

17. First world problems at Thanksgiving and Christmas timeFWP

Some of these things come to us after the list is published and unfortunately that means we have to save them for the following year. This is one of those things.

It bothers me to no end when spoiled rotten kids complain that they didn’t get things like iPhones or cars for Christmas or that they did get those items and they weren’t what they wanted. If I got a car for Christmas, I’d be ecstatic! It wouldn’t matter what kind of car it was, if it was a car made out of clay with an engine in it, I would’ve called everyone.

These days I don’t want much for Christmas because I feel like the holiday, despite my love for it, has been overcommercialized and is slowly but surely losing its true meaning.

This also happens at Thanksgiving when people forfeit that to shop for products they don’t need. Man,what’s happened to cherished holidays ?

Maloofs16. Anyone with the last name of Maloof

The main reason why the Sacramento Kings may not exist come 2013 is its ownership. The Maloof family, once regarded as one of the NBA’s best ownership groups is now regarded as the opposite.

Earlier in the year, the Maloofs and the city of Sacramento agreed on a deal that looked to be a viable one. Then almost in a flash, the Maloofs changed their minds, leaving Kings fans and the city to wonder what it would ever take to get the team to stay.

Now rumors of moves to cities like Seattle and even Virginia Beach have left Kings fans angry and droves of them are staying away from Sleep Train Arena refusing to support a team that not only isn’t winning but lacks an ownership group that is totally committed to keeping the team in town.

I’d love to see an ownership group come in and buy this team for twice as much as its worth and keep it here, but that’s just the king of wishful thinking in me talking,even though part of me wants to become a Golden State Warriors fan as soon as possible.

15. Bumper Stickersbumper_stickers

2012: 18, 2011: 9

An item that should be higher has made the Top 15 again for the second year in a row. I’ve known by now that this is no way to treat your car. I don’t know if you know this,but nobody cares who your honor student is or what your faaaaaaaavorite radio station is. And don’t put political or sports stickers up,chances are you’ll either get cheered or your car is asking to be vandalized.

Also,this is a traffic hazard because people who are nearsighted try and read them and crash into your car.

TNF14. Thursday football games that don’t take place on Thanksgiving

I love football. I love watching it on Sundays and Mondays and even the occasional Saturday late in the year. I don’t need it on Thursdays. I thought I did, but it turns out there is such a thing as NFL overkill and Thursday games on NFL Network are just that. Not only that,but players don’t like them,either. To have to play a game four days later is going to wear these guys out.

I love Thanksgiving day games, that’s acceptable even for players who are playing in them. But having a Thursday game every week.

I’m good! My compromise is having the last four weeks with games on Thursday, but that is about it.

SFRiot13. Rioting following a team’s win and/or loss of a championship game

I don’t know what gets into people when their teams either win or lose a championship that makes them want to riot. It’s happened a lot in Los Angeles, but it’s spreading to other cities that have won (San Francisco) and lost (Oakland when the Raiders lost Super Bowl XXXVIII and Vancouver when the Canucks lost the 2011 Stanley Cup Finals).

It embarrassed me to see Giants fans,my people, riot following this year’s World Series partly because a lot of these fans are great and don’t cause trouble otherwise. It’s cool to celebrate in the streets, but to cause harm to property or even others is just plain ridiculous.

Have some class,act like an adult and celebrate responsibly.

Obama12. People who have yet to get over the re-election of President Barack Obama

I realize that half the country absolutely does not like the President. That having been said, get over it!

The election process took place and the majority of the people wanted this President back in office,whether they thought he was doing a good enough job or they thought his challenger was weak. Seeing people be as big of babies about it when they should’ve just shrugged it off and said “Welp!” (which by the way would be how I would’ve handled it if Romney had won) was absolutely disappointing.

We will have more on this later in the list tomorrow.

clubcards11. Grocery store club cards

2012: 30, 2011: 14

This always makes the list and I see no reason to leave it off. I worked in the grocery business for nearly seven years and have never understood the purpose of why these things exist.

I just want grocery stores to be grocery stores,not in the business of espionage. Not only that, but they cause even more headaches when the customer doesn’t get the savings they thought they were getting. I have an idea,why not give the same price to everyone? This is a novel idea whose time is long overdue.

And now the drug stores are getting into the club card business. We have too many of these things. ENOUGH!!!

Our sixth and final part (The Top 10) come your way tomorrow!


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December 2012
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