Welcome back to our countdown of The Things That Need to go in 2021. This is a collection of the trends, people, phrases,and anything else you can think of that need to go when we arrive at,hopefully,a better new year. This is Part Six,the final part of our countdown where we will reveal items 10-1 of the list.
Disclaimer: This list is for entertainment purposes and is meant to be taken semi-seriously, so keep that in mind when you read the list. We’re just trying to have fun here!
Let’s continue our countdown with #10!
10. The phrase “the new normal”
First year selection
Yep, I am starting Part Six out like this and I don’t care.
By the way, I hope to God this is the only year this phrase makes this list. I hate this damn phrase so much,it truly triggers me. Why? BECAUSE NONE OF THIS IS NORMAL!!!
We are not in normal times whatsoever, I think everyone can agree on it. So why are we trying to normalize such a bad time we’re in? No, don’t! We are far from being in a normal spot. We have a pandemic that’s been raging for far too long. We have massive economic issues, we have people who are out of work and starving, so much of our daily lives is missing, and people want to say this is a new normal? To hell with that!
We need to get back to normal, not just back to normal, but to get an acceptable normal. We have a long way to go before we get there, but do me a favor, stop categorizing the way things are now as such. It’s a slap in the face to people like me who just want their lives back!
9.CATCH-ALL: Nancy Pelosi and Dianne Feinstein
Third and first year selections
These two octogenarians represent my home state and they do so in the worst way.
Nancy Pelosi is as terrible as politicians come. Not only is she mega rich and part of an establishment government which does not care about you, but she is also part of a resistance not of the right, but of the progressive left. She is tone deaf when it comes to the issues that people care about and the policies they want. Not to mention that she is for a stimulus bill that has zero stimulus in it, alleging that it’s a good bill because Joe Biden is President and we have a vaccine coming. That means nothing and you know it. She is old and out of touch with real Americans and what they want, she is exactly why we need term limits in Congress. She also needs to retire yesterday for the sake of our democracy and in the name of progress.
Dianne Feinstein,from the same city that seems to keep churning out terrible Democratic politicians, is also just as bad. She’s for the same terrible policies as Pelosi and is afraid of progressive change as well. Not to mention she had to resign from the judiciary committee because she praised Lindsay Graham and the rushed nomination of Amy Waffle Coney Barrett to the Supreme Court. She’s like 168 years old and out of touch as well. She gotta go!
8. CATCH-ALL: Anti-maskers and Anti-Vaxxers
First and fifth year selections
Anti-maskers make their first (and hopefully only) list and we all know why, it’s because these folks are absolutely ridiculous and unpleasant to deal with in terms of getting them to do something so simple and beneficial for everyone during a pandemic. I myself have had to deal with these morons who have exclaimed that it violates their rights (if that’s the case, so do seat belts) and that they have medical conditions (so do I, probably more than you) and it’s getting to be a tired act. We had one customer at our office say that it was a fake pandemic. I think that dude went to Trump University Medical School.
For the love of God, just wear the damn mask. I have to for eight hours a day with glasses on most of the time that make things difficult to see. If I can suffer through it,so can you. Also,grow up!
As for you people who won’t wear a mask, you probably don’t like vaccines,either. I will be taking the vaccine when it comes out because that’s what someone who believes in science does. They get vaccinated for illnesses to prevent them from coming to them. Those that don’t win stupid prizes for not having done so.
Similarly made selection
I can’t believe I have to say this in the year 2020, but Nazis are bad.
All of these Neo-Nazi groups like the Proud Boys,the Ku Klux Klan, and many more have been getting bigger and more prominent for some time now and it’s disgusting. How anyone can think this way is astounding to me. I actually think the rise began well before Trump ever thought about taking office, but it certainly was highlighted after that.
We had a whole war that we had to fight the Nazis during to prevent all of us from speaking German right now. Now we have to put up with white nationalism all over again? Good lord!
Okay,this is becoming word salad, let’s move on!
6. Virtual everything
First year selection
Anyone else sick of doing everything virtually? I know I am. From doctor’s appointments to fantasy football drafts to even holiday gatherings, doing everything virtually sucks a lot of ass and for me, it’s made me realize that there was a lot that I missed doing in real life and it’s truly bummed me out. Before this curse of a pandemic, I was more of an introvert than an extrovert, but I can’t wait to climb out of this shell once this is all over. I am going to be everywhere, I am going to do everything I can in person because I need real life human interaction to come back. I miss so much of it and I know most of you are feeling the same way as well.
I hope once this is all over we can save virtual stuff only for the rarest of occasions. I am ready to get back to the doctor’s office,host a live fantasy draft in person with a bunch of chicken wings, and to get back to seeing the masses at the Happiest Place on Earth (more on that in a few items!).
5. The phrase “this is the the most important election of our lifetime”
First year selection
I am going to get a lot of backlash for saying this,but I know I am correct on this because this is an overrated statement time and time again. This was not the most important election of our lifetime.You know how I know this is true? It’s because it was said in 2016,and in 2012,and in 2008 and so on. Why do we keep saying it if it isn’t exactly true?
Not only was it not the most important election of our lifetime,but it was yet again a “lesser of two evils” election and an “anti-Trump” vote. That’s it. It was not about changing anything for the better or any sort of revolution,it was about getting rid of Trump. Not much is going to change as far as the quality of our lives.
I think this phrase is said every election cycle in order to make sure people don’t vote third party and instead hold their nose and vote for one of the two awful candidates presented to them yet again. More often than not the argument is and has been that you can have change in the next election and to me that is truly unacceptable. Maybe nominating someone I can get behind that truly will foster change for the better and I will help make this the most important election of our lifetime. Until then, Imma vote for who I think will be the best person for President.
4. Tucker Carlson
Second year selection
Is there a more repugnant person on cable news than this guy? He is not only one of Trump’s sycophantic supporters,but also a big time racist. He is an opponent of any type of immigration,both legal and illegal and has said it makes our country “dirtier”, “poorer” and “more divided” when in fact this country was founded by immigrants. He has also said that white supremacy is a hoax when in fact it’s a major problem in our society today,now more than ever. If it was you or me that said these things,we’d be out of work forever, but not Carlson. He seems to be able to keep his job despite how bad he is at it. Not only that,but he reminds me of Alex P. Keaton if that character was an asshole. He is also rumoured to run for president in four years. No,thank you! If a Trump presidency didn’t get me to flee the country, a Carlson one just might!