Here it is,our list of the Things That Need to Go in 2019. A collaboration of different things,trends,and other stuff that need to be shown the door in the upcoming year. Yes,we’re doing this a bit early this year due to me trying to cram in a vacation before the year ends. In this section we’ll count down Part One of our list,which is Numbers 100-81.
Disclaimer: This list is is intended for entertainment purposes and should be taken semi-seriously,but more seriously than past years.
Onto the list,here’s Number 100…
100. Dabbing
Third year selection
We begin the list with something that was actually fourth on last year’s list. It doesn’t happen as much as it used to,but honestly dabbing needs to go once and for all.
First of all,it’s not 2015 anymore. That moment in time where this “dance” was popular is gone forever. Second of all,it’s bad luck to do it before a big moment in your life happens. Don’t believe me? Ask Cam Newton, Hillary Clinton,Loretta Sanchez,and many others who did it before a big moment and tell me how it worked out for them.
It’s time to finally let this so-called dance go the way of the Harlem Shake and Gangnam Style.
99. Britt McHenry
Second year selection
Everyone’s favorite poor-man’s version of Tomi Lahren is back on the list for the second straight year and although I don’t hear from her much anymore,she’s still awful.
She has some sort of show on the local FOX station in Washington D.C. and is another one of the random blondes on Fox News who all look-alike and honestly,who can stand her?
Not only is she awful with her political takes,but she was also to “regular” people when she was at ESPN when she played the “Do you know who I am?” card when berating a tow truck employee in 2015 and wasn’t fired for it. She was later layed off by ESPN in 2017 and she claims it was because she was “white and expensive”.
I hope she enjoys her continued 15 minutes of fame because it’s not lasting if you ask me. She’s on borrowed time!
98. The Jacksonville Jaguars’ boring new uniforms
First year selection
After five seasons of a uniform that was not only busy, but also very ugly, the Jacksonville Jaguars decided to dial it down and keep it simple. The only problem is they kept it too simple. Gone are the two-toned color helmets and an all-black one was reinstated. The rest of the uniform looks like one they would wear to practice. There aren’t any stripes or any colors around the numbers or anything that makes the uniform pop out at all.
Considering the team had some great uniforms during their early days, these current duds lack a lot and the team needs to come up with something more appealing.
97. The word “bae”
Fourth year selection
This term isn’t used as much as it used to be in 2015 and 2016,but I’m still not in love with it and that’s why it’s back on the list.
We get it,it’s a newfangled term of endearment,but it’s also the Danish word for “poop” as mentioned and noted in years prior.
I do think the term is losing steam as well as popularity,but there are those who still use it ad nauseum and it’s honestly quite nauseating!
96. People who mismatch their socks on purpose
Seventh year selection
This has made our list for the seventh straight year and for good reason, it needs to go.
I honestly thought this trend would go away a while ago and I think it does have some time to go before it does,but wow,this still bugs me.
It can’t be this hard to match a pair of socks. If I,a 36 year old man can do it,you can,too. Don’t give into laziness when it comes to your socks. Beyond that,when I was growing up you got laughed at for having two different socks on. It wasn’t something you did and furthermore,it wasn’t a fad that has yet to go away.
Also,if you’re dating a girl who does this,she might be too young for you. Take a hint,Roy Moore and Benny Mardones!
95. White supremacists and their obsession with milk
First year selection
White supremacists are bad people and beyond that,there seem to be more of them than there ever were before in my lifetime,but what’s the deal with them and their bizarre obsession with milk?
Sure,the majority of it is white and that’s the ideal color of choice for these awful people,but shouldn’t milk be a beverage for everybody? I think so,well,as long as you’re not lactose intolerant or can’t have dairy.
Not only that,but white surpremacists are just peculiar people and we’ll have more on these morons later on throughout the rest of the list.
94. Sinclair Broadcast Group
First year selection
There are many reasons why this group that owns 193 stations in over 100 markets (covering 40-percent of all U.S. households) needs to go,but the main reason besides being a mouthpiece for the right wing is the propaganda they air on each of their stations that carry a newscast through their “must run” stories which are specific reports, segments, and editorials mandated by the company to be aired during newscasts. Many have described the practice as very Orwellian and have likened it to literal brainwashing. Even newscasters who worked for Sinclair in the past found the news product to be awful and found it hard themselves to leave for other stations and other markets.
The quality of their news is bad. Our local CBS affiliate was once owned by them and their news was awful. Eventually that station was sold to the network and the quality has improved. Sinclair is just an awful propaganda machine and shouldn’t dictate how their stations run their news departments.
93. Pitchers wearing single digit numbers
First year selection
This one probably shouldn’t bother me,but it looks so weird to see pitchers wearing single digits numbers on their backs. Usually you see pitchers wearing numbers like 47 or 58 or even a general position player number like 18 or 24, but when you’re seeing Clayton Richard wearing #3 on the Padres or Adam Ottavino wearing #0 or Marcus Stroman wearing #6 in Toronto. It’s becoming an odd trend.
Let’s do this: Let’s leave these single digit numbers for position players,you know,the guys who play everyday and you pitchers who don’t pick up a bat in one league and only rake once in a while in the other league the numbers that position players only wear when they come up in the minor leagues. It’s weird seeing you on the moune with only one digit on your back.
92. Tiny paper clips
First year selection
There seems to be an abundance of these at any office I’ve worked at throughout this year and it’s getting out of hand.
Who needs paper clips that small? I guess if you’re a child or Emmanuel Lewis,these exist for you. But for normal sized people like me,I find these smaller than usual paper clips to be ineffective and in too big of a supply. I often find myself dumping them back into the place I found them in favor of larger,more functional paper clips. Whoever made these tiny clips should really realize how big of a burden they really are to us who need our clips to be bigger and useful.
91. Metered stoplights at on-ramps
First year selection
I have never liked this and I know few people who do and in the 20+ years I’ve seen them I don’t understand the point of them.
Sure,some of you are going to say they help traffic flow on the freeways and you’ve possibly got a point,but I don’t think it helps that much. When I was still taking the freeway to work I wouldn’t stop at them because they took too much time away from me trying to get through my 30-mile trek to work every day,but also it felt pointless.
Not only that,but it ties up traffic in the mornings when it’s already tied up as it is. Ditto with the evenings. Nobody should have to sit in that much traffic,especially to wait for a stoplight to let you onto the freeway. Ain’t nobody got time for that!
90. People who take selfies of themselves on the toilet
First year selection
We all take selfies,it’s a part of our culture now. Wherever,whenever possible we take them. However,one place I shouldn’t,nor do I want to see you taking one is when you’re on the toilet.
Sure,we all urinate and defecate on the daily,but honestly I don’t need photos or even videos of you doing so. Some things should just be kept private and this right here definitely falls into that category.
The only way this is acceptable is if you’re vomiting into a toilet. I’m not gonna lie,I don’t mind watching that for some reason. It’s weird,I know,but that doesn’t bother me much. You on the throne on Instagram kinda does.
89. Ambush journalism
First year selection
I honestly don’t know how this hadn’t made the list in the nine years we’ve done it,but I guess it’s better late than never.
This practice has been used by Fox News for as long as I can remember,but in recent years you’ve seen other outlets use it,including the terribleness that is Alex Jones and his conspiracy factory in Austin,Tex. called InfoWars. Earlier this year Alex Jones decided to bother Bernie Sanders at the airport on two separate occasions and ask him some of the stupidest questions I’ve ever seen anyone ask. Honestly,if you want to interview someone,you should probably ask if they want to or if they have time. Ambushing them wherever they are is not the right time or place.
We’ll talk more about Alex Jones and InfoWars later on in the list this week.
88. United Airlines
First year selection
So dig this, I haven’t flown since 2007 and have no intentions of flying anytime soon. Part of that reason is because of how bad airlines have treated their customers. One in particular that stands out as not-so flyer friendly is United Airlines.
From their troubles in 2017 where they lost the pets of passengers to dragging people off their planes,the latter of which resulted in a 70-percent increase in customer complaints.
The airline is also announcing staffing cuts by one flight attendant per flight. Not only are they not customer friendly,but they’re also telling their biggest assets,their workers,to take a hike.
With things like this going on,it’s no wonder I’m in no hurry to get on an airplane.
87. The “For Hims” sign at AT&T Park
First year selection
Every once in a while you’ll see a sign at AT&T Park advertising for a male enhancement product endorsed by Snoop Dogg called ForHims,and honestly the sign is terrible and needs to go.
First of all,it’s gramatically incorrect. Hims? Hims is not a word you can make plural. I’m pretty sure you don’t need the S in that word. Secondly, it’s pretty creepy to have a picture of someone’e face when there’s someone at bat.
It also reminds us of the continuous onslaught of commercials we had for erectile dysfunction where we had two people in separate bathtubs outside for some reason.
Lastly,this type of trash belongs in Dodger Stadium instead.
So yeah,ForHims need to make their ad space at AT&T Park ForSale.
86. Scientologists
First year selection
This hasn’t made the list until now mainly because I’ve long felt that this “religion” would die really soon,and I still think it will die at some point,but for now it’s on the list.
This is no religion. This is a cult that was founded by a guy who wrote a book. Not to mention they have flawed beliefs such as not believing in psychology,which results in members who may have mental health issues not getting the proper treatment they need. There are many other wacky things they believe in,but since this is a long list,I’m not going to go through them all.
It’s also a hard “religion” to leave and those who have,particularly in Hollywood,have been treated harshly for doing so. If you ask me,those people escaped a cult.
85. White blonde girls rapping on social media,particularly ones who are racist otherwise
First year selection
Okay,okay,so this post is mainly going to feature Tomi Lahren,but I guarantee you that there are a lot more girls like her who are very racist,but not above pretending they’re a black rapper at the same time. The following clip features questionable material-viewer discretion is advised!
There was even an article about Lahren in the Washington Examiner discussing whether or not she should be allowed to listen to rap music. The answer of course is Yes because it’s fun to see how despite how racist she truly is that she listens to all these rappers who are black and listens to their music. Also,she’s from South Dakota,which is full of white people and the only music I thought they listened to there is country.
However,if you’re going to continue the racist white blinde schtick,you should probably be true to character and leave the rap music off your playlist. Otherwise,you’re only fooling yourself.
84. Nosewarmers
First year selection
I saw these things not too long ago and wondered why in the world we needed such a thing.
First of all,it looks silly. Sure,we need to keep whatever we need to keep warm in the winter,but why just the nose? Isn’t the rest of your face as worthy of keeping warm during the winter season? I kinda think so!
This to me seems like a novelty item that may not last long and will more than likely go the way of the Celebriduck. That’s a good look as to why it’s this low on our list this year.
83. Kaitlin Bennett
First year selection
Earlier this year,this college graduate decided to take pictures with her gun at the university she was graduating from. That place was Kent State University,a place where students lost their lives at the hands of the government in 1970.
She has received a lot of backlash for the photos,and rightfully so. But she unfortunately has received too much fame from it. So much so that she’s annoying as fuck on Twitter and probably one of the most hateful people you may ever see.
Not only that,but with how much she poses with her guns on the internet you would think she’d be on a terror watch list. If she wasn’t white,I guarantee you she would be. Hell,she should be now. But because of white privilege she isn’t. People like her who have to cling to their guns that tightly are probably ones I’m not willing to associate with anyhow and have insecurities galore.
82. Oakland A’s fans still upset over the Sacramento RiverCats disaffiliating with their team in 2014
Second year selection
There are quite a lot of things the Oakland A’s do I don’t understand. Same goes with their fans in a lot of instances. One of them happens to be the bitterness that they still harbor over their team losing their AAA affiliation with the Sacramento RiverCats almost five years ago to their crossbay rivals,the San Francisco Giants.
What the fans don’t understand is that affiliation switches happen frequently and thatThe RiverCats weren’t going to be their affiliate forever. For the record, the A’s have since gone through two AAA affiliation switches since the RiverCats disaffiliation,Nashville and now Las Vegas.
By the way,I was a Sacramento RiverCats fan when they were an A’s affiliate and will remain one when/if they ever affiliate with another MLB team. In all honesty, if you jumped ship on them when they switched, you were never a true RIverCats fan and the team doesn’t want fake fans around anyways. Besides,us Giants fans showed up more to the yard then A’s fans when they were still the affiliate anyways,so what’s the big deal?
81. Fanny packs
Third year selection
After a three year absence from our list,fanny packs are back on and it’s beginning to be sad when these are,for some reason,still around. I saw a few people with them at Disneyland and others at the State Fair wearing them,too.
I’ve never understood the appeal of these,even in the 1980s when everyone had one. Are backpacks not good enough for you? What about anything else? Anything else is better than a fanny pack. Also,1989 called,they want their stupid pouches back!
We’ll have Part Two of our list tomorrow!