From the home office at tjthesportsgeek.com in beautiful downtown Orangevale,Calif.

Top Eight Ways to Get Kicked Out of Your Prom

8. Offering chaperones a 20-percent discount on cocaine purchases

7. Your so-called “boutonnierre” is a delicately folded piece of proscuitto

6. Refuse to remove your crown from Burger King

5. Licking the bottom of every empty high heeled shoe

4. Showing up wearing nothing but a bow tie

3. Start freak dancing with the gym teacher

2. Asking the DJ to play Lou Bega on a continuous loop

1. You’re celebrating your 35th birthday