From the home offices of tjthesportsgeek.com in beautiful downtown Orangevale,Calif.

Top Eight Signs You Won’t Be Getting Into College

8. On visit to campus,you accidentally run over the school mascot

7. You spell college with a “K” on your application

6. Your social media posts have been featured in 16 Alonzo Lerone videos

5. Your references include two of your tutors, Sarah Palin and Donald Trump

4. List of school activities include nude ping pong and mayonnaise eating contests

3. You insist that your college interviewer calls you by your nickname “Paste Tastin’ Keith”

2. Instead of application, you send a completed book of crossword puzzles

1. The last time you picked up a book,Caitlyn Jenner was considered “one of the guys”