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Things Everybody Else Loves That I Hate-Award Shows

Welcome to another edition of Things Everybody Else Loves That I Hate, today in honor of the Oscars being recently telecast.

I’ve never really been a fan of award shows. The Oscars, The Grammys, The Emmys, they all stink to me. They’re always too long for one. We can easily cut these ceremonies to a 90 minute show. It’s always about “Oh,who are you wearing?”, as if anyone who’s watching can easily afford what they’re wearing. And why is every male fashion correspondent a gay guy? There have to be some straight guys that know about fashion,right?

In the case of the Grammys, the awards aren’t even the attraction. It’s the musical performances. Why not just scrap the awards and have a giant four hour concert televised by CBS?

The Emmys never nominate any shows I watch and the Oscars never nominate comedies. Why is that? The Emmys have an award for Best Comedy Series, why can’t the Oscars have an award for comedies? They have an award for best animated feature. All these movies about Europe and all these dramas I don’t care for are always nominated, and they’re always nominated before they are even released. If comedies were given any nominations, Weekend at Bernie’s would have made off with some awards.

I think one of the worst and unnecessary award shows is the MTV Video Music Awards. Why you ask? Because MTV hasn’t played a music video since I was in high school. This is the probably the most irrelevant award show ever. And wait,let me guess, Kanye West is gonna jump on stage and bitch and complain that he didn’t win again.

I’d like these shows a lot better if they were more inviting, not four hours long, and not so self congratulatory. Oh,and Sasha Baron Cohen needs to stop. You’re not funny, Borat was a racist movie, and Bruno sucked. Your only good role was in Talladega Nights and that’s it.

I think I’m done!

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February 2012
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