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The Things That Need to Go in 2012, Part One

It’s one of my favorite things to write of the year. The Things That Need to Go list. It’s a collection of the trends, practices, people, and just overall things that need to cease to be in the new year. This year it is a five part series as we went from a brainstorm list of over 300 trimmed down to 75. Each part will have 15 items, some of which are catch-alls but still count as one. I have to say I had a lot of help on this and to everyone who contributed to the list I thank you. Listing everyone would take forever so you guys know who you are.  Without any further delay, let’s start with Part One #75-61!

75. Pajama Jeans
2011 Position: N/A

If you saw the list last year, people going out to school, work, or in public in pajamas during the day made the list. It did not this year because Pajama Jeans start off our list.

I have yet to see anyone wear these,but it’s probably because I don’t live in Utah or any Southern state where they are more than likely worn most. In any case, Pajama Jeans are promoting the laziness of America where society is making it OK to look and dress like a slob (which we will cover more as the list goes on). It is not OK, it’s probably a reason why a lot of people are out of work and by the way, it isn’t hard to get dressed, I do it everyday!

These need to go!

74. White People Beatboxing
2011 Position: 7

How did this drop from seventh to 74th? Well, so many other things pissed me off this year and this wasn’t as relevant. I still think this is something white people who are not named Eminem should refrain from doing,but it doesn’t hold as much importance on the list like it did last year. There are some things white people shouldn’t do because they aren’t good at it!

73. The word “Froyo” and other unnecessary combined words
2011 Position: N/A

I am sick of people combining words to make it one word. One in particular is Froyo. I had no idea what the hell it meant until about two months ago (Froyo, by the way is short for frozen yogurt).

This is also contributing to the laziness of America which is growing at a rapid pace and I for one don’t care for it. Take another three seconds and spell the word. Sometimes people who are getting older like me have no idea what you are talking about.

72. Anyone who has not gotten over the Casey Anthony verdict after the month of August
2011 Position: N/A

I get it, you think Casey Anthony got off. I don’t have any opinion one way or the other because it has no bearing on me personally. I don’t know this woman, I don’t know what happened. Neither do you and if you say you do,you’re full of crap. The only people that got to decide whether or not she was innocent was the jury picked for this trial. The trial took place, both sides were heard and a verdict was given out, it may not have been the popular verdict that people who don’t even know this person wanted but sometimes that is how it goes.

Many people didn’t like how the O.J. Simpson trial ended up but life went on. There are other verdicts that I have not agreed with in other trials but there’s nothing I can do about it. That goes for all of us with the Casey Anthony trial.

71. Cops that forgo donuts
2011 Position: N/A

It’s a sight you should never see, a cop eating a salad at Fresh Choice. That’s like getting the cast of Mike & Molly enrolled in Zumba class, it’s unrealistic.
Cops are supposed to eat donuts. Hell, the Krispy Kreme that used to be by my house was lined with police cars in the parking lot. I’m not exaggerating that,it’s true.

Any cop that doesn’t like donuts doesn’t like his job.

70. Victoria Beckham’s refusal to smile in photographs
2011 Position: N/A

OK, you’re a beautiful English woman married to a soccer star with a great life. Would it kill you to smile in a photograph?
Every time I see Posh Spice in a picture in a magazine or wherever, she’s frowning as if life sucks. Guess what,Victoria? Life doesn’t suck! You’ve got a great life, how about smiling like it is?

Celebrities sure have their way of annoying you,don’t they?

69. Buff Chicks
2011 Position: N/A

This is just…gross. It’s great that women like to work out like for instance if they like to run on a track on a Sunday afternoon, I think that’s great because it shows they want to look good for themselves and even their significant other should they have one. But this is extreme. When I see a woman with abs and huge biceps, that isn’t hot to me, it’s gross and way too manly. How can any guy find this attractive? (Trust me, there is that group of guys who think this is cool.)

Being a buff chick does not make me think you’re better looking,it makes me think you’re on illegal steroids and your deep voice turns me off even more. Women should look like, well…women!

I often talk about things that lose a guy his Man card. This could qualify as losing the Woman card for the ladies.

68. Renaming stadiums over and over again
2011 Position: N/A

I propose a new rule in sports: Once you name a sports structure, that’s it’s name forever. No renaming it even if the corporation it’s named for changes it’s name. To some people, the original name is what they will always call it. AT&T Park is still Pac Bell to some. The Coliseum will always be Oakland Coliseum. Power Balance Pavilion is still ARCO Arena. Just because you rename the place doesn’t mean I’m calling it that.

Two years ago, I started going by my initials as T.J., but people still call me by my birth name, Travis. To some, I will always be Travis and to others U.S. Cellular Field will always be Comiskey Park.

The only allowable instances are when you’ve named it after something disgraceful like when Minute Maid Park, the home of the Houston Astros, was originally called Enron Field. That’s okay to change it then. Personally I think the Giants should revert back to the Pacific Bell Park name even though it’s outdated.

67. Ghostriding

2011 Position: N/A

Wow, way to break the law and run stop signs just so you can be a “badass” with your crappy car. Ghostriding is one of the stupidest uses of your car. This officially made the list when I saw this douchebag in a Chevy Aveo with his driver’s side door open run several stop signs and driving eradically through a residential neighborhood where children were present. This needs to stop!

You are not cool by doing this, you suck and I hate you!


66. Spinning rims
2011 Position: N/A
This is another “look at me” thing that people think they need to stand out. In reality,these people are lacking friends and need something to get people to look at them. Enter the spinning rims. Why does anyone feel the need to put rims that spin on their car when they’re stopped or at a stoplight? I don’t get it.

Does anyone thinks this makes them any cooler? How about getting a personality instead? I really don’t have much more to say on this matter, it’s made the list this year so there you go!

65. Using Props That Go Overboard in the NBA Slam Dunk Contest
2011 Position: N/A

For a long time when I was a kid, I loved the NBA Slam Dunk Contest, it was the highlight of All-Star Weekend. It was awesome to see the big name guys and the dunks they came up with. Now,it’s nothing but guys who are the 12th or 13th guy on the team and the props they have to use to win the damn contest because every creative dunk has already been done.

I don’t mind the use of small props for the contest because there aren’t any good dunks left to make up (Dwight Howard blowing out a birthday candle is perfectly fine), but when you have Blake Griffin jump over a Kia in order to “win” the contest, the event itself has hit it’s demise (By the way, if you think the contest wasn’t fixed, you’re in denile!). I shouldn’t watch this anymore because of how contrived it is now, but I still do in the hopes that it gets better, but I know it won’t.

64. The use of “Empire State of Mind” in commercials or whenever New York is mentioned on television.
2011 Position: N/A
I am so SICK of hearing this song. It’s a terrible song that apparently ad agencies or television producers can’t get enough of using.
Every commercial that features New York uses it, every time a sports team from New York is mentioned as the game of the week they play it. ENOUGH!!!
Aren’t there any other damn songs that mention New York? I’m sure you can use another song. If I hear Alicia Keys belt out “New Yooooooooooork! It’s where dream are made of!”, I am going to break something very expensive. This may be higher on the list next year if this continues! Up yours, Alicia Keys!

63. People who feel they’re better than others solely because they have an iPhone
2011 Position: N/A

These are the kind of people I never want to associate with. Ever.
If you think a telephone makes you who you are, clearly you’re an empty person.  I have a pretty decent telephone that’s not as cool as an iPhone, but I’m not really one of those people who feels superior over the technology I have in my left pocket. I have long found them to be fake, condescending and full of themselves.

It’s cool if you have one,but don’t rub it in people’s faces. And the people who do this the best is the cast of Good Day Sacramento. They talk about the iPhone and all other Apple products as if everyone has them. It bugs the hell out of me bigtime. Are they getting money from Apple in exchange for mentioning their products on the air? It sure the hell seems like it!

Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to have one,but I love having an $11 a month phone bill better.

62. CATCH-ALL: Planking and Owling
2011 Position: N/A
What the hell is this? Why are people doing it? I…I don’t get it.
These are one of those trivial things that, without a doubt, are those pointless things kids do that they think are cool now and will no doubt reach the end of the trend soon. But why do this to being with? Kids these days…

61. CATCH-ALL: Hookah and the thought that smoking it is “cool”, and the idea that smoking is “cool” in general.

2011 Position: N/A

I’m not here on behalf of the anti-smoking campaign, but having been a participant of the habit from 2003-10 I can say that it’s a pointless habit, it’s not cool whatsoever. Nothing pisses me off like hookah smokers. I wrote in a column last year that doing this is not a healthier alternative, if you think so, you’re an idiot.

If someone added strawberry flavoring to dog shit and sold it for consumption, would you eat it? No, of course not! So why would you smoke honey flavored tobacco? It’s still going to make you less healthy. And enough with trying to convince me otherwise, I’m no fool!

If you don’t like it,tough. It’s fair enough!

We’ll have Part Two tomorrow!

4 replies »

  1. Hahahaha Oh my god. This is my favorite part of the year. I agree with “empire state of mind” SO MUCH! I’m sick of that song!!!!!!!!

    Planking is just a stupid fad that people do because of internet memes.

    Did snuggies make the list this year?

    • Snuggies did not make the list. I thought about it, but I don’t see them as much anymore. I also do not see many ads for them,either.

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December 2011
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