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The Things That Need to Go in 2020, Part One

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Hello everyone and welcome to our list of the Things That Need to go in 2020. My apologies for the long hiatus, it’s been a busy time for me this year and I was unable to give this site the time I needed to continue writing. I am back for the month and beyond and I’m all set to countdown the 100 things that need to go this coming year. This is a collaboration of the different things, trends, words, and other stuff that need to see their way out when we ring in the new year. This is part one of our list where we count down items 100-81.

Disclaimer: This list is intended for entertainment purposes and should only be taken semi-seriously.

On with the list and #100!

100. Dumb gender reveals

First year selection

Don’t get me wrong, I love a good gender reveal as much as the next person. Finding out what gender your bundle of joy will be is a joyous occasion. But some of these are flatout dumb. From blowing exhaust from a car resulting in the car catching fire to including an alligator in the festivities to having some girl fart out a pink or blue color, these are just horrible. Take my advice,keep it simple! Have a nice party,invite your close family and friends, serve a nice cake,and just pop a balloon or something. No need to go to extremes with this. You just might make this list!

penny99.The penny

Second year selection

It’s been a few years since this has made out final countdown, but it does need to go. First of all,it’s the garbage of money. Second of all,it costs almost two cents to make one penny. We’re wasting money by creating currency of lesser value. As John Oliver said in 2015 on his HBO program,Last Week Tonight, “Throwing in a fountain or using out of pure spite.”

Just think how much money we can save as a country by not making the penny anymore. We could use that money for things we actually do need like healthcare,education,and the like. Just my two cents!

bumperstickers98. Bumper stickers on cars

Fifth year selection

I hate seeing bumper stickers on cars. Any of them. First of all,it devalues your car greatly once you put one on. Second of all,nobody cares. Nobody cares who you’re voting for next year (even if I agree with you) or where your honor student goes to elementary school or even if your kid beat up an honor student. We also don’t care who your favorite sports teams are and don’t care to see who Calvin is peeing on now. This is just beyond tacky. There are exceptions like window clings that are easily removable,but overall, I think this is the kinda thing that shouldn’t be on your car. Now,keep in mind,I have a few stickers on other items,and that’s fine. But on the car? Yeah,I don’t care and neither does anyone else.

PapaJohnSweaty.png97. Papa John Schnatter

First year selection for the man himself

Papa John Schnatter no longer runs the show at Papa John’s Pizza,but that doesn’t mean he himself isn’t exempt from being a candidate on this list. Schnatter is on this list because he has taken the breakup between himself and the pizza chain known for their awfully bad pizza horribly.

Last year,Schnatter was fired as CEO after it was found he was using a racial slur on a May 2018 conference call and he recently was interviewed by Louisville television station WDRB which saw him sweating profusely and claiming that the pizza tastes different. He also claimed to have had 40 pizzas from the chain in the last 30 days claiming “…it’s not the same product.”

He also claimed the conference call that led to his ouster was “made up” and that the company’s “day of reckoning” will come.

This dude is quite the clown. Not only is he a Trump supporter,but he also was the head of a company that made awful pizza. Maybe it doesn’t taste the same because their actually trying to make it better. Maybe you should go away and not speak out. It’s not like any of us actually wanted to hear from you.

BartArrest96. Laws that ban eating on subway platforms

First year selection

This is a first of many Keepin’ it Real selections because this should never have happened. Last month a BART rider was cited for doing one of the worst things you could do on a platform waiting for a train,he ate breakfast. Apparently,for some reason,you can’t eat food on a BART platform,espcially if you’re a person of color. Other BART riders said that dealing with drugs or violence should be a higher priority than someone eating a sandwich.

I agree. That’s a stupid law. There’s no reason whatsoever why you shouldn’t be able to have something to eat before boarding a train. When I rode our local busses in the 2000s you were allowed to eat whatever you wanted before you got on the bus. Not only is it a “Pssh! Whatever!” law, but it’s one that isn’t hurting anybody if you’re doing as such. Time for BART as well as the state to change this law. It’s so dumb!

As one of my co-workers once said to a policeman “Go fight some crime!”

CutandPatesVans95. Cut and Paste Vans

First year selection

While readers know me for wearing Converse shoes,I also do have Vans and have placed more pairs into my collection. They’re good shoes and very stylish as well. However, the Cut and Paste Vans are downright ugly.

This goes in the “Why are we still funding this?” category for me,or more like “Why did we ever fund this in the first place?”. They look like a shoe that was hastily put together like a sandwich falling apart to begin with,or that blind children are finally taken seriously as shoe designers, take your pick.

I have seen a few people wear these and I wonder why,but then again,it’s their money and if they want to spend it on shoes designed by blind children,that’s their choice.

I don’t see these lasting long,but then again,I don’t know why we needed them to begin with.

KidRock94. Kid Rock

Second year selection

Now,I had something else on the list instead of this moron,but his drunken rant about Oprah Winfrey vaulted him into our Top 100.

Now,we all know irrelevant Kid Rock is these days,especially since it’s not 2007 anymore and “All Summer Long” is an awful song where he ripped off Lynyrd Skynyrd. But his struggle to stay relevant by supporting Donald Trump and continuing the notion that wealth doesn’t buy you class is why he’s here today.

During a drunken rant in Nashville not long before press time,Kid Rock went on a drunken rant about how much he hated Winfrey and other celebrities like Joy Behar and Kathie Lee Gifford and denied being a racist.

First off,he’s a racist. He just denies it like they all do. All he was missing was stating that he had a black friend. He supports Trump and while that alone doesn’t make you one,you’re in the ballpark. Beyond that,his music sucks and his relevance is waning. It’s a falling star,kids,make a wish!

WaronThanksgiving.jpg93. The “war” on Thanksgiving

First year selection

Recently America’s interim president,Donald Trump,made a comment at one of his White Power rallies that the war on Thanksgiving was over and that people can say “Happy Thanksgiving” again.

Wait,what? When did that happen? When were we not allowed to wish people a happy Thanksgiving? Why is he making things up that never happened? Wait,I shouldn’t ask that about the same guy who insisted that a hurricane was coming for Alabama when it was in fact nowhere near it and has a senior advisor who invented a massacre that never happened.

This is another one of Trump’s made-up things like the War on Christmas (more on that later), that he’s not a racist and that he only weighs 239 pounds.

Not only is there not a war on my favorite holiday,it makes me wonder what fake wars on holidays he’s going to come up with next. The War on Valentine’s Day? The War on Easter? I know I shouldn’t give him any ieas,but it makes me wonder what’s going on in his mind and how much crushed Adderall he snorts every day.

SkinTags92. Skin tags

First year selection

Some of us get these from time to time,and when we do,they can hurt like crazy.

I had one of these in a painful spot a couple of months back,under my arm. It was hurting to move my arm and I didn’t know what the hell it was. It could’ve been cancer for all I knew. Luckily it wasn’t and a doctor was able to freeze it off and cut it with scissors and I was good to go,but damn,it hurt.

I wish these never existed and would go away once and for all.

MeanGirls91. High schoolers who claim that they’re “real”

First year selection

I’m the first one to admit that as a high schooler I thought I was this way and knew everything,but looking back now as I turn 38 in a couple of months, I actually knew nothing.

Kids,you’re not “real”, you’re just acting like you know everything about the world and you really don’t. In fact,you haven’t even begun to. Wait until you graduate and go to college and get a job and experience what it’s like in the years to come. The attitude of you being “real” isn’t going to get you very far in life. If anything,it’s going to get your chewed up and spit out. It’s time to wise up,guys,and humble yourselves for what’s to come: heartbreak,disappointment,and learning from it and growing.

SpaceForce90. The idea for a Space Force

Second year selection

This made our final countdown last year and it’s back again. Though I don’t hear as much chatter about this becoming a reality as I did last year,we still don’t need it.

Why? Because we have more pressing issues that need to be solved first before we go and create a sixth branch of the military that’s going into space to start wars with Saturn. We have a terrible healthcare system with people going bankrupt due to high medical bills. We have massive student loan debts,we have a crumbling infrastructure system that gets a grade of D and the list goes on and on.

Honestly,what we need to go is spend less on the military as we outspend more than the next ten on the list of top military spenders. That’s horrendous. We also need to end the wars,but we’ll take that on a lot later on our list. There’s no need for a Space Force now or in the immediate future.

ObamaThumbsDown89. The idea that Barack Obama was the greatest president ever

First year selection

I’m going to get a lot of backlash for this,but honestly,I don’t care. I’m going to come out and say it: Barack Obama was not that great of a president.

After him being gone for almost three years now,the more I think about him as a president,the more disappointed I am that he failed to get a lot done that he said he would do. He said we would end the wars,we didn’t. In fact,we’ve increased  the amount of wars we’re in and increased drone strikes by 432-percent.

He said he was going to fix healthcare and he did to an extent,but the Affordable Care Act was a half-measure that doesn’t cover everyone and only fixed some of the problem. Not to mention that it’s a right-wing healthcare plan developed by a right-wing think tank.

Now,you can point to those things and say that he was getting no support from the other side,which is true. But that was what bothered me about him. He tried being cozy with the right way too much. If you’ve ever wondered why 1000 seats were lost nationwide when Obama and Nancy Pelosi were in power at the same time,this is why. The Democratic Party has become too elitist. They never want to make significant change, they’re always hesitant to rock the boat and never stand up to the other side or really stand for anything. And a lot of that had to do with Obama and his reluctance to resemble to progressive he pretended to be for eight years. And now that he’s out of office,he warns that he may stand in the way of progressives winning next year’s presidential election. If he does,a lot of people will turn against him much like they did with Hillary Clinton.

I’m not saying Obama was a bad president,he just should’ve been better,a lot better.

RefurbishedCopCar88. Refurbished police cars with the lights still on them and the people who buy them

Second year selection

Look,we all need a way to get around and I have no problem if you buy an old police car. But do you really need the spolights and stuff on them?

Anytime I get one that’s behind me,I get nervous. It’s bad enough that the actual police behind me get me anxious,now I have you jerks making me think I did something wrong.

Also,this should fall under impersonating a police officer. That’s a crime!

ChristmasLightsforBeards.jpg87. Christmas lights for beards

First year selection

Look here,I have had a beard for five years now and enjoy having one. It keeps my face warm and makes me look older than I am (without it,I look like I’m 24-27). But if there’s one thing I’m not throwing onto it this holiday season,it’s a string of lights.

This looks as tacky as ever,guys. Not to mention it’s a potential fire hazard in case the lights burn out on your face. If this is what you need to keep your face and beard warm,maybe you need to grow a longer beard. I understand you want to look festive for the holidays,but this is one of tackiest ways to do it.

HarrisMnuchin.jpg86. Ignoring the fact that Kamala Harris didn’t prosecute Steve Mnuchin

First year selection

This is another Keepin’ it Real selection and may be the only time this ever makes the list,but I don’t care,it had to make it because people need to know.

Current California senator and former presidential candidate Kamala Harris declined to prosecute current Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin back in 2013 when he was the head on OneWest Bank for over a thousand violations of foreclosure laws by his bank during that time, and Harris’ office predicted that further investigation would uncover many thousands more.

Harris,however, declined to prosecute him and has not said much more on the matter following the decision. Mnuchin made political contributions to Harris following her decision to keep him a free bird and later go on to serve in Trump’s cabinet.

This bothers me for several reasons. First of all,it underlines Harris’ reputation as a hard-nosed prosecutor and makes me question decisions to lay off Mnuchin while putting parents in jail for their kids being tardy to school. Second of all,she has never spoken up for that decision,a decision that has proven to be a bad one. Had she prosecuted Mnuchin and his bank for doing what they did, we wouldn’t have someone who is guilty of defrauding of thousands of homeowners being allowed to watch over our country’s money.

Why this isn’t brought up more,or at all,is mind-boggling. I bring it up every chance I get. Mnuchin should be in jail,not a presidential cabinet.

GeorgeZimmerman85. George Zimmerman

Fourth year selection

It makes me wonder if this dude part cockroach, but ever since he killed Trayvon Martin and got away with it, he hasn’t gone away no matter how much we all want him to.

Not only did he kill Martin, he is suing his family for $100 million because he was “victimized” following the incident. Good luck winning that case, Georgie boy!

Not only that, he’s just a racist prick who we never need to hear about ever again in our lives. Not only was he kicked out of a bar for shouting racial slurs to the manager of the estbalishment, but he also was accused of stalking a private investigator and even threatening to feed that person to an alligator.

The more we hear about this scumbag, the more I feel like he should share a jail cell with Steve Mnuchin. They deserve each other.

 

whitepeopledreadlocks84. White people with dreadlocks

Second year selection

This last made the list the first time we did it back in 2010,but it’s back now for some reason after being on many brainstorming lists for years.

I’ve never liked the look of dreadlocks on white folks. Unless you’re the lead singer of Counting Crows, don’t do it,white people! It’s not that this look belongs to a certain race,it just doesn’t look natural on white people. It’s like seeing Michael Jordan on the Wizards,it’s just not right.

I don’t have much else to say about that so let’s move on!

jesusSandwich.jpg83. People who see Jesus or the Virgin Mary in their food

First year selection

I’ll come out and say that I’m not most religious person out there,but I will say this, Jesus isn’t in your food,neither is the Virgin Mary. There’s no way that a guy like Jesus is going to come back inside your Wendy’s Spicy Chicken Nuggets in lieu of coming from a cloud on a unicorn with a lightning bolt for a horn. That nacho cheese tortilla chip in your hand doesn’t look like the Virgin Mary. It’s just a mere coincidence.

I’m tired of seeing these kinds of stories at the end of a newscast. This isn’t news,it’s people just being stupid and finding things that aren’t there. Good Lord!

NHLTankTops.jpg82. NHL tank tops

First year selection

The NHL has a lot of cool merchandise fans can wear,nothing better of course than a hockey jersey. By the way,if you’ve never worn a hockey jersey in your life,you are missing out! It’s the most comfortable thing to wear in the world. But earlier this year they came out with NHL tank tops for fans to wear,and they’re ugly.

Why would I want to wear a tank top of my favorite hockey team? That would be like getting an NBA jersey with sleeves,which by the way was a dumb idea to begin with and whoever came up with should be publicly shamed. That person probably came up with these tank tops for hockey fans to wear.

If there’s one saving grace,it’s that at least the players aren’t wearing them on the ice,and that’s good because certain traditions should be left alone.Just stick with making jerseys,NHL!

ChewingMouthOpen81. People who chew with their mouths open

First year selection

Before I begin this,I will admit that I am guilty of doing this from time to time,but it doesn’t mean it’s still gross when others do it.

I myself don’t like when people chew with their mouths open,despite the fact that some people talk with when they chew,in which case I understand because you don’t want to leave them hanging an extra 30 seconds when they’re asking you a question. However,when you’re unprovoked and just chewing and smacking your lips,that gets to be a little bothersome. Just close your mouth when you chew food and you’ll be okay in life and in society.

Part Two, numbers 80-61, comes your way tomorrow!

 

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