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The Things That Need to Go in 2020, Part Two


Welcome back to our end of the year countdown of The Things That Need to Go in 2020. We just completed part one yesterday and it included such items as dumb gender reveals, George Zimmerman, and Christmas lights for beards. Now we’ve arrived at part two of our list where we’ll reveal items No. 80-61 of the things,trends, words, and other stuff that need to go in the coming year.

Disclaimer: This list is intended for entertainment purposes only and is intended to be taken semi-seriosuly.

On with the countdown and Number 80!

DogsIloveYou80. People who think their dogs can say “I Love You”

First year selection

I love dogs a great deal. But never have I thought for a second that mine is saying “I Love You” to me because he isn’t. Beyond that, I’m tired of seeing videos on YouTube where the dog is supposedly saying that. Dogs in Mexico aren’t saying “Te Amo” and Dogs in France saying “Je t’aime”. They’re more than likely telling you “Give me a bite of your quesadilla” or “Epstein didn’t kill himself” in their own doggie language.

They’re not saying “I love you”, that’s just in your head!

AdultOnesies79. Adult onesies

Fourth year selection

Though I don’t see these as much as I used to, I still think they’re pretty lame and the more I see an adult in a onesie, the less seriously I take them as an adult.

You’re not a toddler, you’re an adult. As an adult, there are certain things we probably shouldn’t do anymore, and honestly, this is among those things. Feety pajamas belong on little kids, not on their parents.

SmokingOnBikes78. People who smoke on bikes

First year selection

Honestly,I don’t have a whole lot to say on this,but as someone who used to smoke and doesn’t anymore and is in fact disgusted by it, I can honestly not see the point of smoking on a bike.

First off,it’s like telling your lungs that are doing they’re job to basically take a hike because it’s time for some nicotine while peddling along. If you’ve ever seen anyone smoking on a bike on their way to gym,you might as well give them a beer and a pound of bacon,too,because that’ll get the job done.

It’s not just repulsive,it’s just pointless and honestly this made the list because I thought it would be funny to put it on there. I was right!

HouseForSale77. The high cost of housing

First year selection

This is on the list for a couple of reasons. First off, housing costs have been way too astronomical for anyone to afford whether they buy or rent. Secondly, it’s causing people to uproot from where they were before.

I live in California where it takes a miracle to stay put. Many of my friends have left the state because rent is way too high and it’s cheaper to buy elsewhere. I do plan to buy sometime soon, but it’s not easy doing so. It boggles my mind that not one presidential candidate as of press time has yet to address the housing crisis we have not just here in my home state, but around the country. Buying a home used to be a big part of the American dream. Now, it’s a mere pipe dream for many.

I think it’s time something was done about how expensive housing is and find ways for people to not only buy a home, but to make sure they don’t have to find prosperity elsewhere.

coolbeans76. The phrase “Cool beans”

Fourth year selection

I have hated this phrase for as long as I can remember. One of my friends first expressed his hatred for it back when we were kids and that hatred of the phrase transferred to me.

First off,who eats beans when they’re cold? That’s disgusting! Secondly, why do people even say that? No,seriously,I’m asking! Why is this a thing?

Lastly,it makes me cringe whenever I hear it or see it in a text. It makes me think “That’s the best you can do?”. Do me a favor,y’all, don’t use that statement around me because I am going to have something to say back and it may not be pleasant.

fakehomeless75. Fake homeless people

Third year selection

It’s pretty sad that I had to put this back on the list after a three -year absence, but here we are.

So many people who are well-off are impersonating the homeless people who really do need help and are taking advantage of them. It’s bad enough that homeless people are in a bad spot, it’s even worse that someone driving a Mercedes-Benz is stealing from them. Don’t rich people steal from us enough?

Anyone who does this to the unfortunate should be shamed into donating what they “earned” to charities that benefit the folks who need it most.

SchoolLunch74. School lunches that cost money

First year selection

Another Keepin’ it Real selection and this is something that had to make the list because I have come to the conclusion that school lunches should be free and that school lunch debt shouldn’t even be a thing. I’m tired of seeing news stories about kids going hungry because they didn’t have any money to eat. Or hearing about someone paying off the lunch debt of an entire school. While the sentiment is nice,this shouldn’t even be a thing because kids should be able to eat free.

Why? Because our tax dollars go to fund prisoners eating for free. I don’t see why it’s more important to let people who are serving sentences eat for free in lieu of the children of our future. No child should ever have to go hungry and shame on anyone who feels otherwise!

PassInterference73. Being able to challenge pass interference

First year selection

As much as I was a proponent to having pass interference be challengeable, I don’t think the experiment is going well at all and I think it may have been a big mistake to do it.

How many times this season have you seen a coach challenge a call (or a non-call) to have it reversed? It hasn’t been very much. I think some coaches are challenging just to challenge and it’s a waste of a challenge and a timeout.

Look, I’m sorry about what happened to the Saints last year. Every one of us knows that was a bad non-call. However, the Saints still had chances to win the game and didn’t get the job done. Because they let that non-call get to them, they lost the game and now we have a challengeable call that doesn’t get overturned very often. If it’s not going to get overturned, why even have the chance to do so? It’s pathetic!

TinyPaperClips72. Tiny paper clips

Second year selection

Having just begun my eighth year working in an office I have realized that certain things don’t need to exist anymore and tiny paper clips are on this list.

Just like the penny,they’re the garbage of attaching documents together. Anytime I need a bigger paper clip and all that’s left are the little tiny ones, it’s a letdown. It’s like getting down to the tiny little french fries in a french fry container,or popcorn kernels in a popcorn container. It means that your supply is basically out. But unlike french fries and popcorn kernels, there can be something done about it,and that’s to never produce these things to begin with. All I need is the proper size paper clips,these little ones can kick rocks!

MediumCheddar71. Medium cheddar

Fifth year selection

I love me some cheese, who doesn’t? I also love me some cheddar cheese, but when the sharpness isn’t there, forget about it!

Medium cheddar should not exist. Cheddar is supposed to be sharp; that’s what’s great about it to begin with. Even better is when it’s extra sharp. Extra sharp cheddar? Hells yes!

Medium cheddar leaves more to be desired and is bland to me. I always think to myself “Is that all you got?” when it comes to medium cheddar.

Go sharp or go home!

7BillMaher0. CATCH-ALL: Bill Maher and other limousine liberals

Third year selection

Finally,a catch-all! yay!

I used to look forward to watching Real Time with Bill Maher and so did my father when he was still alive. He offered funny anecdotes and had conversations about what we should change and even was against the wars and for universal healthcare. Now he’s become a sellout who doesn’t want to change too much and thought the War in Iraq wasn’t all that bad and looks down upon progressives who didn’t “fall in line” and vote for Hillary Clinton in 2016 and voted third party. Rich pricks like him who do that are embarrassing to me. It says to me that he doesn’t really care if things change or not because he’s comfortable and has a lot of dough. Maher is cringeworthy to watch now and his show sucks and his brand of elite centrism rubs me the wrong way. Same goes for all the other limousine liberals like him who don’t want to rock the boat too much and only want incremental change so that Republicans won’t get too mad. This,ladies and gentlemen,is why the Democrats are spineless and soft.

MallMassageChairs69. Mall massage chairs

First year selection

I don’t know why these things still exist anymore. This is far from getting anywhere near a quality massage. Why would anyone pay $1 for a massage from a chair that’s going to mess up your back even more?

Folks,a good massage isn’t that pricy. There’s even massage places in malls that do a pretty good job if you just pay a little bit more to get the job done.

A massage is a wonderful thing to enjoy, but don’t let some random chair do the job to make matters worse. You get what you pay for, and that phrase works in many ways.

ThillYoPreThident68. The phrase “He’s still your President”

Third year selection

This is back on the list again albeit a little lower than the year before (63), but it still deserves to be there.

Not all of like to be reminded of the past, whether it be an ex-lover or a bad decision you made or something that hurts all of us. We also hate being reminded that Donald Trump is the interim president of our once-proud nation.

It’s also a prick thing to do just to be a prick like Trump. I don’t go up to people who hate Gavin Newsom and spout “He’s still your governor” because it’s a jerk statement to make and I don’t want my face shot by someone who hates him.

No, we don’t need a safe space (That would be you anytime someone in shoulder pads kneels during the national anthem), but we do want this prick out of office before he ruins everything.

BurningJerseys67. Fans who burn their jerseys

Third year selection

Though I don’t see this as much as I have in recent years, it still pisses me off when fans do it, therefore it made the list.

I have never understood why fans do this. Yes, it sucks when a good player leaves your team for a better one, but sports are business like anything else and you being an attention whore by burning your expensive jersey to get clicks and likes on your awful YouTube video.

If you’re not going wear a jersey anymore, why not donate it instead? Maybe someone else can get some enjoyment out of it instead of you being a prick and setting it on fire or taking a dump on it. In fact, if you need help finding it a new home, let me know. Message me or leave a comment at the end of this entry if you are willing to do so.


First year selection

Can anyone explain to me why MTV still exists? It’s not like they put out any music anymore or play any music videos, which by the way for those of you reading this under the age of 25 is how MTV came to be.

Now it’s all about shows featuring pregnant teenagers, awful people living together on some shore, or spoiled brats turning 16 and complaining about the color of the car.

I miss when this channel had nothing but music videos and the occasional funny game show. Now, it’s just a reminder that this channel isn’t worth watching anymore and all the programming is downright terrible.

DadSneakers65. Dad Sneakers

First year selection

There are good looking sneakers and then there are the kind that only your father can not only love,but pull off,and only then it’s because he’s either barbecuing or mowing the lawn.

Dad sneakers are the worst. You know the ones, they’re mostly white, usually worn with long socks and were more than likely purchased at your local Ross or Big 5 Sporting Goods. I see so many people wearing these at Disneyland, too, and they’re horrendous.

There are much better sneakers out there to wear than these and they cost just as much as those awful dad shoes you got on. But, hey, at least you’re not wearing socks with sandals (Shut it, we’re getting to it!).

microwavingfish64. People who microwave fish in the breakroom

Third year selection

You bet this made the list again!

Why? Because people keep continuing to do this and I have no clue why!

While this still hasn’t happened anywhere I have worked, I know of plenty of folks who have had it happen and every time I hear about it, it grosses me out every time.

Leftover seafood smells gross as it is, why anyone would microwave it to give it a second shot at life is beyond me. Also, your co-workers would like to eat lunch without the foul stench of you nuking your red snapper for another 45 seconds just so nasty fish can get warm.

Do us all a favor and eat that nasty stuff at home and we’ll go to Fire Wings! Deal? Deal!

Buffer63. Michael Buffer

First year selection

Unpopular opinion: I’m sick and tired of Michael Buffer. He got rich off of one phrase and that’s all I ever hear when it comes to him and he’s on every damn commercial using it to the point of annoyance.

Dude,you’re in your seventies now and have made a fortune as a ring announcer,it’s time to hang it up and let someone else have some fame with a different phrase that will annoy the crap out of me for the next 30 years or however long I’m alive. Let’s get ready to rumble? More like, let’s get ready for retirement!

mic-drop62. The “Mic Drop”

First year selection

This had to make the list because of how played out it truly is.

Mic drops are so 2015 anyways. Beyond that, if you’re dropping someone else’s microphone, they’re going to be super pissed. From what I know, microphones are expensive because this is America and everything is expensive.

Also, whenever someone on Facebook uses a mic drop, it basically means they think they’ve won a debate (they didn’t), or don’t want to talk anymore. That’s not how it works, that’s not how any of this works.

Just like dabbing and the Macarena, it’s time for this to retire,too!


JointFacebookAccount61. Joint Facebook accounts

Second year selection

This back on the list again, but just a few spots higher than last year (65). Why? Because joint Facebook accounts are beyond stupid.

Not only is it dumb, but it kinda shows that you can’t be independent of your significant other by having your own account. It signals to me that you either cheated on this person, have severe trust issues, or are doing this to mend a relationship. By the way, I have debated people who have joint Facebook accounts (so have my friends, and each one was victorious!) and it’s hard to take them seriously on that basis alone. I don’t think you can hang with me in a debate if you can’t have your own Facebook account.

I think the meme I have used for this item on the list says it all,though,don’t you?

We’ll have part three,numbers 60-41,tomorrow!

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December 2019
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