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The Most Bizarre Things About 2017

Hello everyone and Merry Christmas!

This is the third year we’ve done this list and we’ll countdown the 10 things that were odd,weird,and just bizarre about this past year. Like our other lists,this is to be taken semi-seriously and is for the sole purpose of entertaining you,the reader. 

On to the list!

CaseKeenum10. Case Keenum became good

When Case Keenum was signed by the Minnesota Vikings in the offseason, it was kind of a move that nobody cared about because he wasn’t very good when he was with the Rams. Wow did he become good all of a sudden.

The Vikings are now considered Super Bowl contenders with Keenum under center.

They were a team that was not having strength at that position with Teddy Bridgewater out for almost two full seasons and Sam Bradford being made of glass and out of nowhere Keenum,who wasn’t thought to be able to make a difference, has helped lead his team to be one of the NFC’s best.

Good on him,we’ll see how they do in the playoffs and if the Vikings can make NFL history by being the first team to host a Super Bowl.

CashMeOutside.jpg9. The Cash Me Outside girl

Early in the year, a clip from a 2016 Dr. Phil episode with a young girl named Danielle Bregoli who is pretty messed up and tried to steal cars. Her catchphrase “Cash me Outside,How Bout That?” went viral and her 15 minutes of fame are not quite over yet.

She’s apparently a rapper going by the name Bhad Bhabie (a horrible way to spell Bad Baby) and had a single released in 2017 called These Heaux,which came out the same week as Taylor Swift’s new single Look What You Made Me Do, which upset Bregoli.

It’s pretty bizarre that she hasn’t gone away yet even after her appearance on Dr. Phil that clearly didn’t help turn her life around or do anything to get her into a more positive place in life. I bet you anything that she’ll be in either jail,rehab,or pregnant sometime soon.

Kellyanne8. Kellyanne Conway and microwaves

I think a lot of us can agree that White House adviser Kellyanne Conway is terrible and at times creepy-looking.

Every little defense of the President and everything she says is stupid and sometimes she says some crazy ass shit that makes you realize why she’s working for a terrible man like Donald Trump.

From her defense of “alternative facts” to making up fake massacres on television to this little gem earlier in the year:

Yep,you saw it correctly,Conway claimed that you can be spied on through your microwave oven. The same machine you cook your Hot Pockets in and reheat your three-day old pizza in is spying on you,according to her.

It’s not enough that she constantly defends this guy no matter what and probably sniffs his ass behind closed doors, she also has to make up shit like this. Not only is she bizarre,but so is the workplace she is in.

SzechuanSauce7. The McDonald’s Szechuan sauce ordeal

In October McDonald’s decided to announce that their Szechuan sauce for dipping your chicken McNuggets in was coming back. The sauce was mentioned in the season premiere episode of Rick & Morty and that mention was what cued McDonald’s to bring it back.

The only problem? It was a one day only promotion, it was in very few locations,and there was a scarce supply. Some locations only had less than 20.

Fans were not very happy and some held riots inside and outside the restaurants. It was by far the worst promotion ever for a limited time item,and Taco Bell usually screws the pooch on those.

The fact that people went crazy over sauce that came out 20 years ago was really bizarre. Don’t get me wrong,it’s good sauce,but it shows that people get mad over the simplest things in life and not so much when it comes to the bigger picture.

TrumpPaperTowels.jpg6. Trump’s Puerto Rico paper towel launch

Hurricane Irma devastated the island of Puerto Rico,causing millions to lose power,some of whom still don’t have it as of press time. The White House’s handling of the situation was not the greatest,nor did Trump have that much sympathy for the island’s residents. Donald Trump got into a Twitter beef with the mayor of San Juan over the lack of help that came over to the island at the time. Also,he made the excuse that the island was surrounded by “big ocean water” to justify why help wasn’t arriving faster.

Trump finally made it over and his contribution? Firing paper towels to flood victims as if he was at the free throw line at an NBA game.

Really,motherfucker? That’s how you’re helping?

Not only that,but he told victims he met and talked with to “have a good time” as if he was visiting one of his overpriced resorts and greeting guests.

But back to the paper towels, it was pretty bizarre to see that this was his definition of helping people in a desperate time of need.

5. David Dao’s dragging

In April on a United Airlines flight from Chicago to Louisville,a man was dragged off of an overbooked flight in order to get a staff member home and it got a lot of backlash.

Dr. David Dao, a 69-year-old man, was dragged against his will off of that plane and he had teeth knocked out and his face bloodied by the guards who treated him like a sack of garbage. He initially was to volunteer to leave the plane,but then changed his mind.

It was bizarre to see that not only do airlines purposely overbook flights (I don’t fly so I didn’t know), but that this is how people get treated when a problem like this arises. It made me sad for this man to be dragged and treated as if he didn’t matter and it made me angry that this kind of behavior is allowed and acceptable in our society. It also makes me not want to get on another airplane because I don’t want to be treated in such a manner. Nobody should be treated like that,especially a paying customer.

Also,United Airlines can go fuck themselves!

BallFamily.jpg4. The Ball Family

This year brought us the introduction of the NBA’s version of the Kardashian family,the Balls. Lonzo,who started the year at UCLA before getting drafted by the Lakers with the second overall pick. His brothers,LiAngelo and LaMelo,and the overbearing patriarch of the family,LaVar.

LaVar has come onto the scene with an attitude of him thinking his shit doesn’t stink. He’s made claims that he could’ve beaten Michael Jordan one-on-one in his prime when LaVar averaged 2.2 points per game in college. He also introduced his overpriced Big Baller Brand sneakers at $495,which by the way look like they’re not worth the money.

He also has claimed Lonzo is currently better than Stephen Curry,a two-time NBA champion and league MVP and is on track to have more three-pointers made than anyone in NBA history and at a record pace.

As I’ve mentioned before,I’m sure Lonzo is a fine kid and I know his dad wants the best for him,but his dad is too crazy and needs to, in paraphrasing his own words “Stay in his lane” and not be so bizarre.

Frankie-Muniz-On-DWTS.jpg3. Frankie Muniz came back to life

One of the things that surprised me was that former Malcolm in the Middle star Frankie Muniz was actually still around. I found this out when seeing he was on Dancing with the Stars (one of my Mom’s favorite shows) and he nearly won the competition.

After his hit show ended in 2006,Muniz was largely out of the acting spotlight and focused on his racing and musical career as well as battling many health problems. In 2012 and 2013 he suffered a transient ischemic attack,also known as a “mini stroke.” He has lost a lot of memories of his acting days and his childhood as a result.

While Muniz didn’t win the competition,it was not only bizarre to see that he was still around,but also really cool to see how much he has recovered since his health ordeals. I wish him continued success!

roymoorehorse2. Roy Moore

After Alabama senator and racist Keebler elf Jeff Sessions became Attorney General, his Senate seat needed to be filled and the man winning the nomination for the Republicans was Roy Moore,a former chief justice of the state’s Supreme Court against Doug Jones,a Democrat who once prosecuted the remaining two Ku Klux Klan perpetrators of the 1963 church bombing which killed four African-American girls, and also secured an indictment against the Atlanta Olympic Park Bomber.

Over the campaign it was revealed that Moore had been accused of sexual misconduct by nine women who he had allegedly pursued when they were children. He declined to drop out of the race despite pleas to do so. Aside from that,he was creepy as fuck.

Jones ended up beating Moore by two points in the election,with Moore still refusing to concede as of press time. While it’s great that Jones won and a pedophile didn’t, it was bizarre to me that he was allowed to run in the first place, that he was only beaten by that much,and that he has yet to accept defeat. Also,Jones is no progressive by any means,so to you Democrats thinking he’s going to bring the change that your base desires, you best keep dreaming. He’s a Hillary-style centrist who is against healthcare for everyone and everything else you’re standing for. I think if an actual progressive had won, they would have won by 10 points,maybe even more.

It’s time for these boring,vanilla Democrats who don’t stand for anything to stop getting elected. They’re part of why I left the party in the first place!

TikiTorchNazis1. White supremacy making a mainstream comeback

One thing I wish hadn’t happened,but probably saw it coming was groups like Neo-Nazis and the Ku Klux Klan making a comeback in a mainstream way.

From clinging to their guns and their second place participation trophies from the Civil War (also known as confederate monuments,most of which were put up in the early 20th century for those of you playing along at home) to mowing over protesters in Charlottesville,Va., these idiots came back and in a bizarre way.

I think a lot of the reason why is because of the man they helped elect in Donald Trump. Trump is and has been accepting of these people because he has their vote. He never seems to want to disassociate himself with them, he’s okay with them. Which is why he blamed “both sides” for the Charlotteville chaos, then was forced to denounce the white supremacists days later and then bought it all back later in the week, describing the Neo-Nazis wielding tiki torches and running over people as “very fine people.”

I don’t know about you,but I think anyone who screams “white power” in this day and age doesn’t deserve to be called a very fine person. I also don’t think it’s okay to have a man in office who is okay with white supremacy. I’ve heard reports that he is actually not fond of black people because he’s “intimidated” by them. It’s truly bizarre when a man like this is occupying the highest office in the land and is okay with racism.

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December 2017
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