From the home offices of tjthesportsgeek.com in beautiful downtown Orangevale,Calif.

Top Eight Signs Your Car Should be Recalled

8. Only gear it has is neutral

7. Seat belts are made of delicious turkey jerky

6. Leaks brake fluid, windshield wiper fluid,and ketchup

5. Page 29 of the owner’s manual explains that car is designed for display purposes only

4. Locking gas cap is a combination lock

3. Kelley Blue Book value: $41. 50

2. You’re constantly being followed by ambulances

1. Safety rating is very near the same level as Trump’s approval ratings