From the home office at tjthesportsgeek.com in beautiful downtown Orangevale,Calif.

Top Eight Signs You’ve Gone to a Bad Motel

8. When checking in,the clerk asks “Someone knows that you’re here,right?”

7. You notice members of motel staff appearing on the adult movie channel

6. Toilet paper is just a string of fortune cookie fortunes taped together on a roll

5. Clerk asks, “Do you mind snails?”

4. Into the night,people come knocking on your door claiming to have an appointment with someone named Cinnamon

3. No continental breakfast,just a regional one

2. There’s always a bite missing out of the soap

1. Drinking glass is wrapped in a semen-filled condom