From the home offices of tjthesportsgeek.com in beautiful downtown Orangevale,Calif.

Top Eight Headlines on a Slow News Day

8. “Swedish meatballs are delicious”

7. “Vast majority of senior citizens intimidated by technology”

6. “Alex Dunphy to wear glasses in upcoming episode of Modern Family”

5. “The New England Patriots are really good at football!”

4. “Psychic predicts Adam Sandler to star in disappointing movie”

3. “Headline writer to wife: Are we out of milk?”

2. “Studies show that 95-percent of people who fire guns at their TVs happen to be seeing an image of Donald Trump at the time”

1. “Woman Buys Shoes”