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The Things That Need to Go in 2014,Part Two


Part One brought us items such as the myth that summertime is the only time you can barbecue and Insane Clown Posse. I hope the list is coming along nicely for you so far. Here is Part Two of our 100-item countdown.

stupidhashtags80. Stupid hashtags
First year selection
Hashtags,whether you like them or not,are here to stay in an attempt to further dumb down our intelligence and our world. There are some that are acceptable,but there are others that you see them and you just shake your head and ask WHY!?
I gotta say,folks,some of your hashtags that you use are not only dumb,but also unnecessary, excessive, and kinda weird,all in that same order.
If you’re going to insist on using hashtags, use them wisely and don’t use stupid ones that don’t need to be there.

geico-camel79. People who shout “HUMP-DAY” when it is nowhere near Wednesday
First year selection

It is definitely one of my favorite commercials this year. The camel asking what day it is and shouting “HUMP-DAY” in the GEICO commercial. What bugs the hell out of me is when people,especially kids, shout “HUMP-DAY” when it is not Wednesday. It will be like a Saturday night and I will be at,say the mall, and a bunch of kids will shout “HUMP-DAY ”for the hell of it. Wednesday is hump-day, not Saturday. Or Sunday. Or Friday. Or any other day.
It is okay to enjoy the commercial, I do,I just dont overkill it by shouting “HUMP-DAY” when it isn’t. There is a time and a place,folks!

Hipster78. Hipsters

Second year selection,2013: 18

This slipped way down this year’s list because I see fewer and fewer of these folks (Good!),but they do still exist and I am still wondering why.

You know the ones, the folks who wear short-sleeved shirts with a scarf, skinny jeans,and TOMS while listening to Daft Punk over and over and over again while writing in their online journals at Starbucks about how society fails to understand them.
Thankfully the hipsters aren’t around as much as I can tell, so here’s hoping they miss the ’15 list altogether.

heelless heels77. Heel-less heels
First year selection

As a guy who can appreciate the shoes of the ladies, I do not understand why these exist. They are bulky,big,and kinda ugly. My big hope is that the women who do sport them have some supreme health insurance because they look very painful even without someone’s foot inside.

Ladies, I think you should just stick to the classics when it comes to your shoes. Just wear either a platform shoe or one with a heel, not one that has no heel. Come on now!

cameraflash76. Overwhelming camera flashes

First year selection

Has anyone noticed how bad and overwhelming camera flashes have become?

Over the years, camera flashes have become more and more prominent. Some have strobes in them (Dumb and unsafe),some go off for more than five seconds and some are just quite blinding. Some even take forever to go off and do so when you least expect it. Why?

I go to events from time to time where people are taking pictures with these expensive cameras and these stupid flashes. You could be 20 feet away from where the picture is being taken and see the flash coming and your retinas are burning from it. Its just nonsense!

I appreciate a great picture as much as the next person,but does blinding people by taking those pictures make it any better quality-wise? I find it hard to believe.

75. Seeing Michael Buffer in EVERY commercial
First year selection

One thing I have noticed the last couple of years is the overuse of Michael Buffer, the boxing ring announcer who seems to be every fight, now seems to be in every commercial for everything,especially car insurance. Its getting pretty fucking annoying. How many times can you hear him say Lets get ready to rumble before you say Enough?
I get it, that is his catchphrase,but I have heard it enough already. How about not hearing it in every spot he does for Progressive? How about not being a one-trick pony?
I hope he stops doing commercials for a while because I am getting sick of hearing the only line he has to use(or parodies of it).

CarEyelashes74. Eyelashes on car headlights
Second year selection, 2013: 41

I am still seeing this on cars,though not as much as last year when it was in the middle of our list. I don’t think this is cute and like I said last year, this is just like when people put fake bullet holes on their car (By the way, if you still do this, stop it. We are no longer in 2003!).

I really hope this goes away…and soon.

FathersDay73. Father’s Day doubling as Single Mother’s Day

First year selection

This is a Keeping it Real entry for me here because this trend of wanting to have it both ways with Father’s Day is pretty ridiculous.

To me,it’s a sense of entitlement that really shouldn’t exist.

First off, you don’t see single dads saying that Mother’s Day is Single Fathers Day. Second off,what I just stated, there is a Mother’s Day,it is in May. I get it,Dad was never around to be there for your kid and you were. This does not entitle you to be apart of Father’s Day. When they start printing Single Mother’s Day on calendars then I will take that claim seriously. Until then, you have Mother’s Day in May.

SoundofMusic72. Endless remakes of movies and television shows

Second year selection,2012:45

As we stated in Part One of our list with the commercials being unoriginal now,Hollywood is and has been out of fresh ideas for a long time. We are constantly remaking movies and television shows now and it really needs to stop. We don’t need updated versions of anything. If anything,we need original versions of anything. Why not try that? If you can do that for us,Hollywood,that would be great! Thanks!

VH171. VH-1

Second year selection, 2013: 74 (CATCH-ALL)

This was part of a catch-all last year,but this year I decided to make it its own item.

VH-1 has been for a few years now a lost cable channel for me. Ever since they stopped showing cool shows like Best Week Ever, Behind the Music,and Pop-Up Video it has been a television wasteland with shows like Basketball Wives that are just pointless partly because not a lot of NBA players have wives.

Yes,I know Best Week Ever is back,but I fear that it might not be as good as it was originally. It is hard to go back,you know…

clubcards70. Grocery store club cards
Fourth year selection,2013: 11,2012: 30,2011: 14

Whoa! How did this item slip so far down on the list when it rose to #11 in 2013? Well,a lot of other more prominent items made it as well and also, I give up a little. Every store has some kind of card now and it has been hard to get a store to not have a card.
I personally despise club cards (except for Costco) because it is retail espionage where if you have a card they track what you buy and give you coupons that you never asked for for things you may or not need. This may make its way back up the list again or it might not, but this year it is where it is.

baseball69. CATCH-ALL: When people call runs in baseball “points” and When people call home plate “home base”
First year selection

As a baseball fan this really bugs me when fans do this. When a player scores, they score a run,not a point. Points are used in football and basketball. Also, when they score a run,they are not touching home base, it’s home plate. The other bases are called bases because they are bases, home plate is not a base,it is a plate,which is why it is shaped differently from the bases.
Am I nitpicking? Yeah,but there is baseball terminology for a reason,just like other sports have their own terminology that fans need to and should learn.

KeepCalm68. All Keep Calm posters
First year selection

This is going to piss-off so many of you who are reading,but I don’t care. This overuse of the Keep Calm posters from the ’40s and making them into a different one is getting old fast. Truthfully I thought this was getting old last year,but putting this on the list for ’13 would have been a disaster because some trends you have to let live for a bit before you can wish for them to die.

Also,don’t tell me to keep calm, I will do so when I am damn good and ready. If I was calm, we wouldn’t have a cool list like this. Just sayin’.

Shooting_range67. People posting pictures of themselves at shooting ranges on Facebook

First year selection

A lot of people I know have done this and other who I don’t know have done this more and more,especially since so many people have either become gun nuts or have been revealed as such after the Sandy Hook shooting. I hate to break it to you,but your photos of your trips to the shooting range are far from impressive. Wow,you can shoot a gun. Congratulations! I don’t care!

I hardly think anyone else is that much impressed,either. You know what does impress me? Super-Soakers. Those are not only safer to have around,but more fun. Real guns are dangerous,Super-Soakers are not.
doginstore66. People bringing their little dogs into stores
Second year selection, 2012: 12

I do love dogs very much,but if I had a little dog of my own I would not take him or her into a store with me. Why? Because I don’t know if you know this,but they aren’t allowed in stores unless they are a guide dog. And by the way,those of you who claim your dog is one are full of crap and are abusing privileges designed to help others who need assistance.

If my German Shepherd is not allowed inside the store,why is your Chihuahua? I think that is size discrimination and a double standard. Also, the excuse of bringing them inside with you during the summertime does not fly with me. How about leaving them at home? There’s a thought!


65. People who put pictures of themselves making out as their cover photo on Facebook
First year selection
I didn’t put this on the list because I am jealous of people who do happen to do this. I did this because having your cover photo as this is overkill. That’s great that you love each other,but I don’t want to see this as I enter your page. How about getting a room? There’s an idea!

MTV VMAs64. All award shows

Second year selection, 2013: 82
This has made the list again because I continue to hate these shows where these all important fabulous people are getting awards and making spectacles of themselves. It is just ridiculous.

The Grammys suck because all they are is just a big concert with five award winners the whole four hour show. What I hate the most are the MTV Video Music Awards,first because music videos are no longer played on MTV and also because it is where celebrities are given license to act like idiots so we can make watercooler conversations at work about it instead of something that really matters (By the way,Miley Cyrus will be covered as we move ahead in the week).

NFL63. People who take NFL preseason football way too seriously

First year selection
I love football as much as anyone and I love when it comes back,but what I don’t love is the preseason. A bunch of guys who won’t be playing on the team after the preseason versus a bunch of guys who won’t be playing on the team after the preseason. So why do so many people put so much importance on it?

You do realize that the teams that are the best in the preseason end up sucking when they do start playing for reals,right? Case in point: the 2008 Detroit Lions. You know,the team that went 0-16. Well,they went 4-0 in the preseason. I am okay with my team going 0-3 or 1-3 in the preseason so long as they win when the regular season gets under way.

bettinglines62. Betting lines on things other than sports
First year selection
This is too silly,ladies and gentlemen. Why are we having Vegas odds on things other than sports? Like the name of the Royal baby? Or what Katy Perry is going to wear at the Grammys? Or what break-up Taylor Swift is going to sing about next?

The only thing you should have odds on in Vegas is sporting events,that’s it. Stop trying to put betting lines up for non-sports fans. We hate that…a lot!

WendysRedhead61. The Wendy’s red head commercial campaign

Second year selection,2013: 68
I continue to dislike these commercials. Not just because the red head just gushes over how great Wendys is, but because the commercials are more and more annoying and stupid.

It has gotten to the point where my visits to Wendys have been less frequent (not to mention that I am over 210 pounds now and well,who needs that when you are that big?). I like their food from time to time,but as its proven with Burger King and their dumb campaign with the creepy manager guy, an ad campaign can either make it or break it with me and my decision to eat there. I think it is time for Wendys to get a new ad campaign so that people who have stopped going because of it can once again return.

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December 2013
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