Top Eight Signs Your Baseball Team Is Going to Have a Bad Season

8. Manager spends time practicing kickoffs

7. Home games are played on a patch of Highway 50 median strip

6. Team name rhymes with “Smokeland Mathletics”

5. Team’s batting practice time usually spent watching reruns

of “Deal or No Deal”

4. Instead of tobacco, players chew wall insulation

3. They have nine guys playing third base

2. All-Star outfielders are touring with LMFAO until Labor

Day

1. Teams idea of a triple play is three chicks at the same time