From the T.J. the Sports Geek Quarantine Center and Beverage Station in downtown Orangevale,Calif.

Top Eight Ways Dumb Voters Decide Who to Vote For

8. Ask someone who is smart, vote the opposite

7. Listen for clues from Jeopardy! Contestants

6. Whichever guy supports “Gravy for All”

5. Heads: 70 year old guy with dementia, Tails: 70 year old guy with dementia

4. Find out who that George Zimmerman is pulling for

3. Asks self “Am I stupider now than I was four years ago?”

2. If he’s talking about a tax on chicken sandwiches, forget it!

1. Would vote for a piece of shit if it had a D next to it!