From the home offices at tjthesportsgeek.com in beautiful downtown Orangevale,Calif.

Top Eight Signs You’re Watching a Bad Action Movie

8. This latest Fast and the Furious is using golf carts instead of rice rockets

7. The only thing the terrorists are demanding is a $50 gift card to the Cheesecake Factory

6. Ads describe it as “Die Hard on a recliner”

5. Entire chase scene takes place on a merry-go-round

4. Supervillian played by one-hit wonder Lou Bega

3. Villians “sword” looks suspiciously like a churro

2. Superhero’s catchphrase, “Make America Great Again”

1. New Batman: Kanye West