From the home office of T.J. the Sports Geek in Orangevale,Calif.

It’s the Top 8 List

Top Eight Things You Don’t Want to Hear At a Fourth of July Barbecue

8. “Chicken is delicious,but possum meat is less expensive!”

7. “Get a photo of me lighting this M-80 with charcoal lighter!”

6. “Only three more burgers until I kick your ass,pal!”

5. “I’d like to tell you why I’m backing Donald Trump to be our next president!”

4. “I’m afraid the only fireworks tonight are between me and your daughter!”

3. “Tony Danza’s back again with a song about cole slaw,where are my car keys?”

2. “It’s me,your Aunt Caitlyn, you may remember me last year as Uncle Bruce!”

1. “Someone keep the cops busy while Grandpa runs away from them!”

Happy Fourth of July,everybody!