From the T.J. the Sports Geek Quarantine Center and Beef Jerky Storage Unit

Top Eight News Headlines for Tomorrow

8. Ten Out Of Every 10 Americans Who Have Hair Need Haircuts

7. MLB Teams in Historic 30-Way Tie For First

6. Civilians Arrested in Plot to Steal Ice Cream from Nancy Pelosi’s $24,000 Freezer

5. Majority of People Agree- Glasses Help You See

4. There’s No Way To Sugarcoat It-Both Men Running for President Are Creepy!

3. Whatever Happened to Norah Jones?

2. Local Residents Hoping Corona Beer Can Be Cure to Coronavirus

1. It’s Official: Nobody Knows What Day of the Week It Really Is- Or Cares!