From the home office at tjthesportsgeek.com in beautiful downtown Orangevale,Calif.

Top Eight Signs You’ve Rented a Bad Summer House

8. It’s a time share,but you only get to stay in it between 2 and 4 am each day

7. “Key” you receive in the mail is made of chocolate

6. Previous owner died a year and a half ago,but his body is still in the kitchen

5. It’s on a patch of Highway 50 median strip

4. Lease states that the landlord gets to shower with you

3. It’s more accurate to call your “Summer house” a tent in the Taco Bell parking lot

2. First floor is accessible only by boat

1. It’s booked through Halloween