Now that we’ve completed the The Things That Need to Go in 2015 list,we certainly have to remember some of the things that need to come back. I’ll admit,this list isn’t as fun to do as the one we did earlier this month,but it must be done. Here are the Things That Need to Come Back in 2015!
10. Wacky answering machine messages
I know that a majority of people don’t have a landline,therefore they don’t need an answering machine. Since they don’t need an answering machine, there isn’t a need for a wacky and hilarious answering machine outro message. I say we should bring those back in some form. You have voicemail,right? Well,get creative and make a funny voicemail message! Either that,or someone should make an app where you can have a funny voicemail message that goes out to everyone. Wait for the beep!
As of this year, the Sacramento area no longer has a home for old school R&B and hip-hop after V 101 (KHYL) flipped their format to Rhytmic Contemporary. In other words,they’re the same station as KSFM (102.5) and Hot 103.5 (KHHM). Not to mention they have the awful Pacey Williams in the afternoons. I understand the format change in order to get younger listeners, but for me the format of old school music was just fine. There aren’t a lot of radio stations that play that kind of music anymore and to see V101 change their format to one that two other stations have was pretty upsetting. Hopefully another station will change their format to broadcast some great music that listeners would love to hear again.
8. Videos of a drunk Jerry Jones in a piano bar
We haven’t had this in a while and it’s time someone made another video of Jerry Jones extremely wasted in a bar where a piano is playing. This is one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen and I want to hear what else he has to say while he’s as wasted as a white girl with next to no personality as a sober person.
How come next to nobody on the news wears a pair of eyeglasses? Clearly a lot of people in that profession have bad eyesight like I do,yet to appear that they don’t they wear contact lenses instead, probably at either their insistence or their news director’s. Either way, you hardly ever see people who look like me (four eyes) on the news. I mean,seriously,when you put Erica Hill from the Weekend Today show in a pair of eyeglasses,her level of sexiness goes up from 8 to 12! I hope more news anchors leave the contacts at home and enhance their eyes by adding two more of them on their face.
6. Travel calls in the NBA
Remember when NBA officials used to call traveling? Pepperidge Farm remembers!
I have noticed a decrease in travel calls in the NBA in recent years and it’s getting pretty ridiculous. From Corey Brewer taking seven steps from midcourt to dunk to the four steps Mike Conley took that resulted in Andre Igoudala’s “Travel Dance” and subsequent technical foul, the amount of no-calls for traveling in this league have become too noticeable and too much. It’s bad enough this league is by far the worst officiated one, now it’s becoming too blatantly ridiculous that the league needs to fix the way it officiates its game,and bringing back travel calls would be a start.
If there’s one uniform that should come back to professional sports,it’s this one. The Padres’ Taco Bell-colored uniforms of the ’70s and ’80s weren’t the greatest looking,but they were glorious and worked well for the Padres even if the team wasn’t the most successful in them.
The uniforms they have now are kinda boring. Blue and gold? Really? Don’t five other teams in baseball wear those same colors? It’s time for this team to go back to it’s roots and wear some different colors other than blue or red like every other team in the sport is wearing.
You remember her from the State Farm commercials a few years ago,right? She was only on screen for a second or two,but the Girl From 4E stole my heart. I don’t know where she is now with her laptop and her braided ponytail and her glasses, but wherever she is,I hope she comes back sometime in ’15. Side note: If she showed up to the house at 2:30 in the morning and said she was lonely,I’d invite her in without question.
The first of our two NFL entries is here and even though I wasn’t alive for this too much,I think an NFL coach looks even better when he is wearing a suit. Look at Tom Landry, Vince Lombardi, Hank Stram, and Bud Grant. They were successful coaches and did it in style. Now you have coaches like Bill Belichick and Jim Harbaugh who don’t give a shit what they look like on the field. They both have some cashola in their pockets, they should be heading to Jos. A Bank and getting some nice threads for the game. I think the game would look sharper if the coaches looked that way,too.
I know DJ Mappquest agrees with me.
Okay,so I have mentioned before that this was one of my favorite online games of the early 2000s. Acrophobia was a game where you made dirty acronyms made of letters issued to you and the best ones were voted on by other players. The best ones got the most points and even the fastest answer got a point. After a player reached 30 points, the top two players faced off in a showdown to see who was the better acro maker.
What a game,right? Then what the hell,man? Why don’t we have this anymore? I mean,yeah, there are games like Acrophobia out there but it isn’t the same and there are barely any players in the room when you play. It’s time someone with some money rescued the rights away from whoever has them and makes an app for that,bitch!
I know,I know,last year’s top selection is this year’s,but admit it,you miss throwback uniforms,too. Ever since the NFL made this stupid fucking rule wear a team can only wear one color helmet shell for the season many teams who have throwback uniforms of other colors can no longer wear them. The Packers still try their best with their Acme Packers uniforms, but with the yellow helmet it doesn’t look that good.
Here’s my question: Don’t players who get traded have to adhere to this rule,too? Wait,they don’t? Oh,well,then this is a pretty useless rule then,isn’t it? It’s time to chuck it once and for all. God,Roger Goodell sucks!