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The Things That Need to Come Back in 2012

Last week we revealed the Things That Need to Go in 2012, how we’re revealing the things that are due for a return next year. It will only take us one day to do this,though. So here we go…

20. Romantic gentlemen

I’m not saying they don’t exist anymore, but they’re becoming a rarity. I see so many of my female friends who have been with the worst men and it makes me wonder why they want to be with them and why some guys don’t know how to respect or treat a lady.

It’s time that guys who do deserve a special lady and know how to love and respect them come back into prominence. They’re due,trust me!

19. Missing Children on Milk Cartons

When did they stop doing this? I remember as a kid when a child was missing… BOOM! They would be on the carton of milk and people would know that they were missing. I’ll say this, forget the Amber Alert, you weren’t missing until you were on a carton of Vitamin D milk. Not that I am saying that it was an awesome thing to have back in the day, I’m just saying that this is a piece of nostalgia I miss and would love to see again.

18. Crystal Pepsi

In 1993, Pepsi brought us a clear version of their product and it actually wasn’t that bad. We bought a ton of it and by 1994 it was gone. America needs something like Crystal Pepsi again and it should come back.




17. Good customer service

I will admit,at my job I haven’t always provided the best customer service, but I have an excuse,some don’t deserve it all the time. But I’ve seen it everywhere I go, I will get to the cashier and they will kinda give me a half-assed greeting or won’t even thank me. What the hell has happened to that? It’s a growing epidemic,too. Often times I will be the one having to say “Have a good day” when I’m the customer. If store managers are reading this, train your employees to do this if you haven’t already.

16. CATCH-ALL: KFC moist towelettes and yellow Wendy’s napkins

I don’t understand KFC not having moist towelettes anymore. Those were great, especially when you were eating greasy chicken like their chicken always is. It was a lifesaver! Now they do not have them and it makes me sad and it makes me visit KFC less and less.

As for Wendy’s napkins, change them back to yellow. Those yellow napkins made them stand apart from all the burger joints with white napkins which they now have. C’Mon, Wendy’s!


15. Lou Bega

What the hell happened to this guy? He came out with Mambo #5 in 1999 (without releasing Mambos #1-4 first) and never followed up with Mambo #6. America needs that and America needs Lou Bega, even it’s just for one of those Where Are They Now? shows. I want to know if he’s OK.


14. Battle of the Network Stars

Back in the 1970s and 1980s, ABC had a show called Battle of the Network Stars where stars of the shows from the then three major networks (ABC,CBS,and NBC) would battle each other in Olympic style events to see which network was better. It was television gold and by the time FOX came on the scene in the mid-1980s, there was no need for this show anymore. I think this show’s time has come to return. Who wouldn’t want to see Kim Kardashian in a dunk tank with Jon Cryer throwing the pitch? Or Miley Cyrus in a foot race with Rick Harrison from Pawn Stars? The possibilities are endless! I think it would be great TV and I could host it. I’d even love to see this again:

13. The name “California Angels”

When I was a child, the team Albert Pujols now calls home was known as the California Angels and I was cool with the name. Then Disney changed it to Anaheim Angels, which, OK, you’re in Anaheim and they won a World Series under that name, but the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim is a stupid name which people have made fun of again and again. Why not go back to the California Angels name? It worked for you for 30 years. Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim? Please!


12. Arcade tokens

I don’t know about you, but the phasing out of arcade tokens in favor these crads with credits on them is kinda lame to me. I’m just a token kind of guy. I worked at a waterpark with an arcade and the tokens were fine with me, then after I went onto another job years later they went the route of the ESPN Zone and Dave and Buster’s and started the cards with the credits on them, which is fine for some, I guess. I’m old school, I still like popping in tokens and playing the games. Some places still have them and I hope they continue to, the others who don’t need to revive them.

11. TV show theme songs

Not a lot of shows have them anymore and that saddens me because there were a lot of shows back in the day where you identified it with the theme song. Cheers, Friends, and The Dukes of Hazzard are among the many. Now it’s like an eight second instrumental of generic for some shows. What kind of theme is that? That’s just bumper music on the way to four minutes of commercials.
New ruel for 2012: Every TV show must require a theme song or music that doesn’t have one already!

10. Videos of a drunk Jerry Jones at a piano bar

That video does nothing but make me laugh every time I see it. It’s from early 2010 and it’s YouTube gold. I am disappointed that Mr. Jones did not make a sequel to this, it would have been just as legendary. I would love to see him make another video just like this one in 2012, preferrably before the Super Bowl. It might be hard to top that,though, but it would be fun to see him try to.

9. The round on Wheel of Fortune where you go shopping for ceramic dalmatians and pleather jackets

I know it’s been over 20 years since Wheel of Fortune had the shoppind round, but it was awesome. You would take all the money you won solving the puzzle and go shopping with it. There were many prizes like ceramic dalmatians, pleather jackets, and many fabulous prizes. Forget all these speed round puzzles, put the shopping round back in the game. With the economy being as bad as it is you have to give something for people to win, why not a ceramic dalmatian?

8. Ice cream trucks to nicer neighborhoods

OK, I consider myself to live in a decent area, have for many years. Back in the day, me and my friends would roll on our bikes to track down the ice cream man and we would have walkie talkies with us so we knew where to go once one of us found the guy. He even came in the winter,too (Hey,this is California!). Now, I barely see the guy anymore, he maybe comes like five times a summer.

Compare this to the ghetto where I’m told he usually almost always is and it makes me wonder why folks like me who don’t want to roll up to the store or even 7-Eleven for a Snickers ice cream bar can’t get the ice cream man where we live. We like ice cream,too. Come around more often this summer, and stop going so fast. Do you ever notice that? The guy goes like 40 mph down the street.

7. Kids Playing Outside

Why is it that I never see kids playing outside anymore? In my neighborhood, there’s a good excuse… it’s because there are hardly any children in it (I’m judging this of course by the few trick or treaters we got this year).

It’s not just my neighborhood, any time I drive through a different area other than my own, I don’t see children outside playing. I think it’s because they’re too busy on Facebook or playing video games not suitable for their age group or watching another unnecessary sequel to Twilight. Back in the day, all we really did was play outside and it was fun. We played all sorts of games,too. We would play football up at the elementary school or even lawn croquet at my friend Sean’s house (Watch out for the Marinara trench!). It was endless fun that I hope returns to the American landscape.

6. Erica Hill in glasses

The CBS Early Show’s Erica Hill is attractive. I think she is more attractive when she wears her glasses,which, when she did the weekend show last year she wore often. When she was promoted to the weekday Early Show, she has barely worn them and when it comes on and she is without them, I won’t watch.

Erica, come on, when you start the new CBS This Morning show that isn’t as good as Today or Good Morning America, put those glasses on. Women who wear glasses are extremely hot, many guys agree with me on this but some of them won’t cop to it immediately.

Erica Hill + Glasses= A happy geek

5. Dave Chappelle

It’s been seven years since Chappelle’s Show truly ended (Season Three doesn’t count as a real season because he wasn’t there to present the clips!) and we’ve barely seen Dave Chappelle on television. I’m sure he does stand up still,but I never hear about it or any appearances he does. He still has many fans out there who would love to see him again and I hope 2012 will be the year he makes that come back.



4. Recording artists who know the words to the national anthem

2011 was truly a year where many of our living recording artists muffed the national anthem like a kicker does to a field goal after he’s been iced by the other team. I get that there’s pressure for some, but come on,learn the words! I can’t believe how much it was either forgotten, butchered, or just an awful country version. Let’s get people who know the song next year and also, you might want to do something called rehearsal before you do it live!

3. Talking to a human when you call a place of business

I don’t know about you, but I’m sick and tired of a machine answering the phone whenever I call a place of business. Remember when people used to do this? And remember how efficient that was? Now you gotta press One for English and say why you’re calling and if your option isn’t on the menu they hang up. What the hell kind of customer service is that?

I personally think it’s terrible and I think it’s time that humans once again answer the phone whenever you call to ask a question. It shouldn’t be this difficult to get a question answered,folks. Nobody needs to jump through hoops to make a phone call somewhere.

2. Kicking off from the 30 yard line

Nothing is more boring in football then to see a touchback. Kicking off from the 35 has been miserable to watch, you’re seeing less and less kick returns this year and it’s making me a little miserable. I like seeing guys like Devin Hester and Josh Cribbs take it to the house going 100+ yards (against other teams, not mine!) and that element of the game has diminished.

Also, we’re seeing too many onside kicks too early in the game. That’s a fourth quarter thing in my opinion when the game is on the line, not when you’re down 7-3 in the second quarter. Let’s kick it off from the 30 again like it used to be and how we liked it!

1. Tony Bruno on KNBR Weekdays at 11am

This is my ultimate King of Wishful Thinking item on the list because this is a missing part of my day. Back in August, KNBR got rid of some of the most entertaining radio there was by dumping the Tony Bruno segment during Gary Radnich’s show. Radnich’s show is now very unlistenable radio now that he has a sidekick and that the 49ers are good (it’s more entertaining sports talk in the Bay Area when the teams suck).

Bruno is a very entertaining guy who is insightful and knowledgable but can let his guard down when it’s appropriate. He and Gary were great together during that half hour they were on every day. It often made a bad day for me good again and I appreciated that. No matter what kind of crap was going on in my life, every day at 11am I could listen to KNBR 680 and hear those two just B.S. and it would make me laugh. That void is still there four months later and I want it gone. Sadly, with the terrible changes Cumulus Media has made to Bay Area radio, my wish might not come true. But it’s nice to dream!

That’s it! That’s the list!

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December 2011
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