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The Things That Need to Go in 2012, Part Four

We have arrived at Part Four of our series, we did Parts One,Two,and Three, and now we reveal numbers 30-16…

30. Grocery Store Club Cards
2011 Position: 14

This was on last year’s list and it may continue to be as long as these exist. I have been in the grocery business for over five years and I do not like these cards. Why should a club card member get all of the deals? Shouldn’t every shopper be able to get a good deal? I think so.

I don’t like it when your local grocer is in the business of espionage. I really think it’s so that the stores themselves and the government can track your shopping habits. I think if the stores got rid of these, their employees would not get as many headaches. I’m telling you,it’s true!

29. Endless road construction
2011 Position: N/A

Everywhere around me the last few years has been nothing but road construction. I understand that things need to be fixed, but all at the same time? Really?

And why does it take so long? The Bottleneck in Roseville took five years. Highway 50 has been taking forever and Hazel Avenue is being widened…again which will take another three. When does it end? AHHH!!!

28. Giants fans who have yet to get over the injury to Buster Posey and hold it against Scott Cousins for accidentally injuring him.
2011 Position: N/A

This is the only year you’ll probably ever see this on the list, but to all you Giants fans who are still butthurt about Buster Posey’s and hold it against Scott Cousins, I have one thing to say: Get the hell over it!
I hate that this became an issue when Posey got hurt because the same damn thing happened to Carlos Santana of the Indians who was then their catcher and he was lost for the year. I bet you anything that nobody outside of Ohio talked about this.

I’m sorry he got hurt and was lost for the season but it’s not his fault the Giants tanked the rest of the season and it’s not Scott Cousins’ fault for making a clean baseball play. There were 24 other guys on that team that could have made things happen and they didn’t get the job done. Also, those of you who want a rule change because of it are crazy. Home plate collisions are an exciting part of sports. If this left the game I would be sad. Posey’s going to be fine, he’s gonna come back in 2012 and the Giants will be a lot better. Get over it!

27. Big sunglasses
2011 Position: 2 (CATCH-ALL)

The other half of last year’s second overall item is back on the list,though it has slid. The reason why it has slid is because the trend has a long way to go before it’s dead, though a guy can still dream. I’ve never been fond of these oversized sunglasses,they just don’t do it for me. What’s so awesome about having 80-percent of your face covered by hideous sunglasses? I just don’t get it.

If the trend doesn’t die this year, it will probably go back up the list,but because so many other things need to go first, it resides at 27.

26. Reading a book or your Kindle or using your iPad at a sporting event
2011 Position: N/A

I’ve seen this repeatedly,both in person and while watching sports on television. People who come to the game doing something other than watching the game they paid a fortune to get into. This should not be allowed in any stadium ever. You are there to watch a game, that’s it. No reading books or your god damn Kindle.

In fact, as much as one particular team is hated they ought to be commended for banning this practice. I’m talking about the New York Yankees who do not allow iPads into Yankee Stadium because they want you to do just that… watch the game! If you’re not there to watch the game,then don’t go! Have it on in the background at home while you read Bill O’Reilly’s fictional book about Abraham Lincoln.

I love going to games and when I’m at one that is what I do. I have to travel a long way to go see games since I live in a one sport town. If you do the same, leave the books at home where they belong and enjoy the game!


25. CATCH-ALL: People who Dislike Shoes, People Who Walk into Stores Barefoot, The Barefoot Movement & National Go Barefoot Day
2011 Position: 17

This made the list again,not that it’s that prominent, but because it bugs me a lot. It amazes me the times and places people will go without shoes. When I went to American River College last year, there was a guy I saw every week when I left class who wore a shirt,tie,and slacks,but no shoes. I wanted to ask him why,but minding your own business is a good idea when you’re at ARC.

I don’t understand why people don’t like wearing shoes, I mean it’s something people need to wear just about everyday. Maybe it’s because I have a lot of them and hold a feeling about their importance to society. I don’t know about you,but I’m not a fan of repeat tetanus shots. I got one in my arm this year and felt it for two days. If you’re one of those people that gets off on that, more power to you. I’ll be walking by laughing with in my Converse All Stars.

And by the way, Converse, hook me up with some free shoes. I mention you guys so much on this site, it’s time I was rewarded.

As for National Go Barefoot Day, no thanks!

24. People who claim that they’re leaving the state/country/region if a certain candidate they’re against wins in an election
2011 Position: N/A

I’ve heard it all before…

“If Jerry Brown beats Meg Whitman for the governorship, I am leaving California. I’ll probably move to Kansas!”

“If Obama wins, I’m leaving the country!”- Stephen Baldwin,2008

I’ve got news for you, no you’re not. You’re full of it! Just like Stephen Baldwin is (plus he’s a terrible actor). And do you know how I know? Because people of my ilk who share the same political views as me said the same things when George W. Bush was around screwing up the country. Do you know where these people are now? Living in the same places when they made these “threats”.

I get it, your guy didn’t win. It doesn’t mean you have to uproot your life and find a change of scenery. Get over it and try and vote them out the next time.

23. Fans that say “we” when describing their sports team
2011 Position: N/A

This used to not bother me, but when I realized I don’t play for the team, I have decided to stop this practice. I’ve never put on a pro uniform, the team doesn’t pay me, they don’t even read my fan letters. So why should I count myself a part of them? I root for them but that’s all because I choose to.

I understand why people do this, but I think it’s crazy to think that a guy like me whose athleticism dried up years ago is part of any team. The moment a team pays me I’ll start saying it, but until then, I am not saying it.

22. CATCH-ALL: Dressing Up Animals,Halloween Costumes for Pets, and Putting a Diaper on Your Dog
2011 Position: 9

I have never in my life found this to be cute, and do you know why? Because animals hate it. Have you ever tried to place a hat on a dog’s head? And do you know what they do once you do? They knock it off!

Doggies and kitties have fur, it’s worked for them forever and continues to. They are not a doll for you to dress up, it’s not cute to them, it’s humiliating! Also, quit dressing them up on Halloween, they can’t trick-or-treat or eat candy, therefore there is no need for a costume. I can’t believe there’s a pet section for costumes at those temporary Halloween stores.

One more thing, diapers on dogs are not cute. Sure,sometimes they are necessary, but if it’s for decoration, it’s stupid!

21. Glee
2011 Position: 11

Glee made the list last year and it has slipped on this year’s list, partly because fans of the show have told me how much it has jumped the shark. Whatever the case, this show is terrible. I’ve even had friends of mine tell me how bad it is. The singing, the acting, all of it is just bad. Also, I’m a guy. Guys don’t (or shouldn’t) watch this, we watch football games and cartoons with extreme violence, not high school kids singing away their problems. Who does that? Who has time? Not me, Monday Night Football is on!


20. Shows About Pregnant Teenagers
2011 Position: N/A

Here’s another item that should have made the list in 2011,but I didn’t think of it at press time, so it was left off and was mentioned in another feature we do.

Anyhow, I am sick of hearing about these pregnant teenagers and the mistake they made of getting knocked up way too soon. I’d have more respect for MTV about having this series if they didn’t make these kids celebrities from having been on the show. Instead these kids are being rewarded for the mistakes they made with the scumbags who knocked them up in the first place. Up yours,MTV! Play some videos!

19. Men who hang their feet out of the car window
2011 Position: N/A

I don’t have much to say about this other than the practice of this is only hot when women do it. Why any guy would do this in a moving car thinking this is cool or okay is beyond me. Ladies,keep doing this, it’s kinda hot…

Let’s move on!


18. Jersey Shore

2011 Position: N/A


You’re probably wondering “T.J. , how did this NOT make the 2011 list?”. Well, I thought this would go away without even needing to be on the 30 item list or even the leftover list. I am so sick of these people who aren’t even from New Jersey who do nothing and have no talent whatsoever and get paid for it. Also,this show is on MTV, a network that hasn’t mattered to me or anyone in my generation in about 15 years and shows like Jersey Shore are the reason why. I have a great idea to save MTV, why not cancel all the shows that aren’t music related and just put on music videos with all that time? That formula worked before…

17. Skechers Shape-Ups and other gimmick work-out shoes
2011 Position: 15

These made the list last year and dropped only a couple of spots but I can’t stand these shoes at all. I hate the bulkiness of them, the only reason people think they work is because they paid a ridiculous amount of money for them and because they weigh so much because of how heavy they are that it creates the illusion of getting exercise in them.

I also hate that these over the hill athletes endorse them, it makes me fear that they might come out of retirement. I hope to God that Joe Montana, Kareem, and Karl Malone stay in their rocking chairs. You are old and have nothing left despite wearing those gimmick shoes!

16. People Doing the Macarena 15 Years Later
2011 Position: 24

Apparently people don’t listen.

Why are people still listening to and dancing to this horrible song? I hated this song when it came out in 1996, I hate it now, I think it’s a horrible dance as well. It’s also an inappropriate song to play,too in case my masonic family is reading. It’s about a slut who sleeps with two other guys while her boyfriend is out of town. Wow!

Whenever you hear the song,it makes you want to cringe and forget it forever, yet society won’t let you. Also, seeing old folks dancing to a song about a whore doesn’t seem right to me. It’s kinda funny,but it’s kinda sad if you ask me.

The 1990s are over, dance to a song that’s more current and more appropriate.


Part Five comes tomorrow!


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December 2011
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