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The Things That Need to Go in 2012, Part Three

We’ve already unveiled Parts One & Two, now it’s time for Part Three and to reveal numbers 45-31. This is fun,huh?

45. CATCH-ALL: Endless movie sequels and Endless Remakes of Movies and TV Shows

2011 Position: Leftovers

Is Hollywood this desperate for new ideas? I’m starting to think so. Look, I don’t need all these remakes of movies. I’ve seen Footloose already,I don’t need an updated version of it. Also, do we need all these pointless sequels? Ooh,look. Pirates of the Caribbean Part 8, Saw 12, American Pie 10, ENOUGH!

Oh,and also, come up with some new TV shows, we already saw Hawaii Five-O, Dallas, Charlie’s Angels, and In Living Color when they were on originally, bring a new idea to the god damn table!

44. People who wear throwback jerseys of players that sucked

2011 Position: N/A

I see this often at football games I have gone to. Fans who wear jerseys of players that sucked. Either they wear them because that’s the only jersey they have or they’re too cheap to get a current player’s jersey for $80. I have news for you people: Brian Bosworth was a horrible player in the NFL, he was all hype and no heart. You do not need to rock his jersey 23 years later. Same with you 49ers fans who still rock the jerseys of the following: Jeff Garcia,Tim Rattay, J.T. O’Sullivan, Kevan Barlow, Rashaun Woods, Mike Rumph, J.J. Stokes, and Nate Clements.

Raiders fans needs to stop rocking the following jerseys: Philip Buchanan, JaMarcus Russell, Jerry Porter, Napoleon Harris, and so on and so forth! These players did nothing but steal money from your teams and hindered them from being any good for a long time. It’s time to go get you a new jersey,and make sure that it’s one of a player stays around a while.

43. Sun Drop commercials featuring people dancing to songs from 2004
2011 Position: N/A

Wow,way to stay current Sun Drop, playing an overrated Snoop Dogg song from seven years ago. You are definitely with the times. Why not play some Outkast or some Nelly while you’re at it? And hell, throw in some Sisqo,too.
Not to mention it was a Halloween costume as well and one of my managers went as the Sun Drop girl and annoyed everyone at work by riding a U-boat across the store with that song blaring in the P.A. (horribly I might add). This had to make the list following that incident. Anyways, Sun Drop, get with the times, play that Pumped Up Kicks song in your commercials, it might be about murder but at least it is current.

42. Facebook pages for people’s pets

2011 Position: N/A
This also had to make the list because as much as you love your pet, they really have no need to be on Facebook. Please do me a favor, stop sending me friend requests to befriend your dog, it ain’t happening. I am sure he is a nice dog but this really isn’t necessary or even cute. This is just as bad as dressing them up for Halloween (which we will get to later). If you have a dead pet, memorial pages for them are allowed because they meant that much to you, that’s it. I can guarantee you will not be seeing any friend requests from my dog Kona, it’s just silly and stupid. Chances are my dog does not want to be friends with you, he just wants to chew on your shoes when your feet are in them.

41. Celebrities endorsing products they don’t really use
2011 Position: N/A

“Hi,I’m Kim Kardashian and I wear Skechers Shape-Ups when I work out!”

No,you don’t, you’re full of crap! You just say that so Skechers will give you and your talentless family more money you really don’t need. I’m sick and tired of these celebrities endorsing stuff they don’t use. All the Proactiv celebrities are included in this list,too. Those are just a couple examples. Now there are some celebrities who really do use stuff they endorse (Larry the Cable Guy for Nutrisystem is one of them, I’m sure John Madden has a buttload of Tough Actin’ Tinactin!), but for the most part, I don’t buy what celebrities are selling.

You know how I know Kim Kardashian really wears Skechers? When I see she’s replaced her 7-inch Louboutins with them on the red carpet.  That’s dedication!

40. 4/20
2011 Position: N/A

Look, I’m not a pot smoker and I never will be,mainly because I have better and more interesting things to do with my time. Also,because that is some gross smelling shit you losers smoke.

Not only that,but this supposed holiday of 4/20 is absolutely stupid. Something you do everyday is not considered a holiday. The origins of it are asinine and the reasons for it are dumb. I’m not hating on people who smoke this stuff,that is your cross to bear, but seriously, get a life! Oh,and stop taking over 10 minutes at the drive-thru speaker at Taco Bell when I’m on my way home from the Bay Area. There’s no way you need 40 tacos.

39. The Kardashians’ need to spell everything that starts with a C with a K

2011 Position: N/A

Is this a ticky-tack thing to have on the list? Absolutely! But it needs to be recognized because I hate the Kardashians’ konstant substitution of the letter C with a K. I kan’t tell you how konfused, annoyed,and how much it makes me kringe that this is a kommon practice to them. I get it, you love the letter K, it doesn’t mean everything needs to be spelled with it. This kan’t kontinue anymore, Kardashians. Beginning in 2012, you now need to spell everything you’ve spelled with a K with a C and this includes words that are already spelled with a K. Got that,Cim?

38. Acronyms in the workplace designed to boost morale and/or customer service

2011 Position: N/A
I’ve been in customer service-related jobs for a long time and one thing I have loathed is acronyms related to customer service or morale boosting. Why should GAT get me to work harder? And why do I have to remember them all? Don’t I have enough to do?

What really matters is not what acronyms you’re supposed to know,but the quality of the job that you do. No two people operate the same way,well,most of the time. Often times there are those so called “robots” that will do anything you want to them to do so they’ll be accepted and loved. Don’t be a robot, be your own dog, drink Red Dog beer!

37. People who remove their glasses and set them face down
2011 Position: N/A

Having worn glasses for 11 years, this has been one of my hugest pet peeves. When people remove their glasses and set them face down. Every time I see someone do this, I always feel like I should correct them and place them face up. The reason being is so that they don’t get scratched up. I don’t know why some people don’t realize this, it’s something your doctor or optician tells you when you’re first new to glasses.

It doesn’t happen often,but if I’m without my glasses and I see them set face down by someone else, I get very mad. My glasses have very few scratches on them now and I hope they stay that way because when the lenses are super scratched, it;s no fun looking through them.

Oh,and stop wiping them clean with a paper towel. Your optician told you not to do that, listen to them!

36. CATCH-ALL: Lifted trucks & Regular cars with giant wheels
2011 Position: N/A

Just because it’s bigger doesn’t mean it’s better.

For the record, I hate these trucks that are lifted way too high off the ground. As obnoxious are their owners. I have never seen the need for these trucks other than to make up for whatever shortcomings the owner has or has had. You are not Bigfoot, this is not ARCO Arena,and this is not SUNDAY,SUNDAY,SUNDAY!!! (Unless you’re reading this on a Sunday, in that case,welcome!) Also,I had a friend die from being in an accident with one five years ago and have questioned their need ever since.

As for cars with giants wheels, you people who own them should get a life and a better hobby. Good lord!

35. Nancy Grace

2011 Position: N/A

Michele Bachmann (who appears in a minute) should have canceled this crazy woman out,but I am also annoyed by Nancy Grace as well.

Look, I know why she acts the way she does, I know her fiance was murdered a long time ago and while that’s awful and heartbreaking, it doesn’t mean that I have to like her persona.
Personally, I think she’s the female Bill O’Reilly. She always interrupts her guests, shouts them down, and tells them to “Shut up!” frequently. Aren’t guests supposed to be treated with respect? I always thought so! And also, stop getting so worked up over people like Natalie Holloway and Casey Anthony!

34. The constant metamorphosis of Facebook
2011 Position: N/A

Why is Facebook always changing every five minutes? I really hate when Facebook does this. Every couple months or so they do this and everyone who uses the site gets outraged at the new change. Not only that, Mark Zuckerberg doesn’t even care to cater to his users, which makes Facebook not so user-friendly.

The constant changes of Facebook remind me of when my local cable company shuffled the channels around every few years. You were used to ESPN being on Channel 15, now they moved it to 32. Damnit! I could change it to Channel 15 with my eyes closed.
Anyways, that is what this reminds me of and it needs to stop. Make minor changes, OK, but the major changes are tiring.

33. Candy bars that aren’t king size that cost over $1

2011 Position: N/A

When the hell did the candy bar market go crazy?
A candy bar at 7-Eleven now costs $1.19. Really? $1.19? Why?
It used to be that the King Size candy bars were over a dollar, something I have learned to accept. But now the regular size candy bars are over $1? No thanks. I haven’t bought many candy bars since then mainly because it’s not worth it. Make these things 50 cents again or at the most 75 cents, not a dollar. C’Mon Man!

32. Michele Bachmann
2011 Position: N/A

Excuse my language if you haven’t by now, but damn,this bitch is crazy. If there’s anyone you don’t want as your next President, here it is. I can’t stand Michele Bachmann,she says the most irritating things,she has the worst policy ideas for America, and she’s also part of the Tea Party movement. Not only that,she scares the hell out of me. She reminds me of Faye Dunaway as Joan Crawford in Mommy Dearest (a movie I saw once and never will again).

I hope to God she is not the Republican nominee, and judging by the poll numbers, so do Republicans.

31. Uggs
2011 Position: 21

Down 10 spots from last year, Uggs are back on this year’s list. I’ve made no secret of my hatred for these ugly shoes. I know,I know, they’re sooooo warm and sooooo comfortable, but shouldn’t style outweigh comfort? I have long felt that way. If you look good,you’ll feel good.

Not to mention that girls don’t even wait until the fall and winter to wear them anymore. True story, I was in Folsom during the summertime coming back from taking my sister to work and I saw a guy walking with his girl in the 100-degree heat and she had Uggs on with pants. Really? Someone’s asking for heat stroke.

I am hoping this trend ends, I just don’t know if it will be soon…

We will have Part Four tomorrow!

2 replies »

  1. 44. I would think no self-respecting football fan would want to be caught dead in a JaMarcus Russell jersey nowadays.

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December 2011
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