From the home office at tjthesportsgeek.com in beautiful downtown Orangevale,Calif.

Top Eight Signs You’ve Joined a Bad Cult
8. Entire cult is based on something founder heard Alex Jones say
7. Their description of heaven sounds suspiciously like Wendy’s
6. The name of the group is called “The Hanson Family” and they sit around listening to “MMMBop” on a continuous loop
5. TV Spokesman: Scott Baio
4. You’re named cult leader because you have the nicest car
3. Their recruitment video is still on BetaMax
2. Cult uniform consists of a poncho from a grocery store, a male romper and a pair of TOMS
1. Cult motto: “Make America Great Again”