From the home office of tjthesportsgeek.com in beautiful downtown Orangevale,Calif.

Top Eight Signs You’re at a Bad Super Bowl Party

8. Host serves pizza slices by hiking them between his legs

7. Only snack is a cookie sheet full of Tic-Tacs (Donald Trump only)

6. No Falcons fans, No Patriots fans, only Roger Goodell fans

5. The Rams,Raiders,and Chargers fans in attendance have all had to relocate to other seats in the house

4. It’s being held on a patch of Highway 50 median strip

3. You know that eye black stuff that players are wearing? They’re serving it on Triscuits

2. Host is unable to purchase more beer because he is under house arrest

1. Nobody can have sex because all of the coats are on the bed