From the home office at tjthesportsgeek.com in mediocre downtown Orangevale,Calif.

Top Eight Things Joe Biden Had To Do On His First Day

8. Empty all the trash cans full of hamburger wrappers and empty Diet Coke cans

7. Put up all his supermodel posters in the Lincoln bedroom

6. Fed Mitch McConnell some lettuce

5. Anything to distract him from thinking about what Donald Trump looks like close up

4. Got some paper clips from the storeroom

3. Fed Ted Cruz whatever it is that blobfish eat

2. Posted a series of hilarious Bernie Sanders memes on the @POTUS twitter account

1. Started backtracking on promises he made on the campaign trail in order to continue with the status quo as usual