From the home offices at tjthesportsgeek.com in beautiful downtown Orangevale,Calif.

Top Eight Signs You’ve Gone to a Bad Doctor

8. Office is located on a patch of Interstate 5 median strip

7. His stethoscope is manufactured by Fisher-Price

6. Frequently wonders if you’re getting enough gravy in your diet

5. Keeps asking “Is someone frying tuna?”

4. Giggles continuously when he hears the word “vulva”

3. Constantly asking if you want to see something in a pump or a wedge

2. First name: Kanye

1. After he asks you to say “Ahhh!”, says, “OK, now you do me.”