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The Things That Need to Go in 2015,Part Six


Hey Kids! Ninety items are in the books so far on this list and now we are at Part Six and our top 10. These are items 10-1 on our list. This is a list for entertainment purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously. Here we go!

GoogleGlass10. Google Glass

First year selection

I’ve never liked this gadget and I’ll tell you why.

For one,it makes people look like total douchebags. Second, it prevents people from interacting with actual people when they’re in their own little world instead. It’s bad enough we live in a world with our heads down instead of having good times with one another. Now we have this dumb device to take you away from what’s really going on in the world.

Not only that,but I have yet to see one person wearing this. It proves to me that this device isn’t a great idea and needs to go away.

SFRiots149. CATCH-ALL: Rioting when your team wins or loses a championship and Rioting and looting and blocking roadways when a verdict doesn’t go your way

Second year selection for the former-2013:13, First year selection to the latter.

I don’t see how rioting and destroying your city following their result in a championship is a great idea. This has spread from city to city over the years and it’s getting old.

I don’t mind if you’re celebrating peacefully and responsibly,but when property and people are getting hurt and people are even shot and wounded,that just makes it a sad situation that makes you and your entire fan base look bad.

As for when a verdict in a trial doesn’t go your way, just because it happened doesn’t mean the local Little Caesars has to go up in flames. I understand why people are upset over recent verdicts regarding the deaths of Michael Brown and Eric Garner,but destroying property and blocking traffic is not the answer. Get the fuck off the road!

billy-beane8. The idea that Billy Beane is a “genius”

First year selection

To all the Billy Beane apologists out there,I have one question for you: If Billy Beane is such a “genius”,why doesn’t he have any World Series rings?

Let’s cut the crap,the A’s are not hurting for money. Josh Donaldson revealed as such before he was jettisoned to Toronto a couple weeks ago. He’s right, they’re a cheap franchise who gets all these talented players and then trades them away right as they as a team are on the brink of maybe getting to and winning a championship. They could’ve won one this year,but they traded Yoenis Cespedes away which left a gaping hole in the line-up and was probably the key moment in the A’s collapse,which has now led them to trade away players like Donaldson, Brandon Moss,and Jeff Samardzija.

If Beane ever wants to win a championship in Oakland, he needs to take a page from a real genius’ playbook. He doesn’t have to go far to retrieve it, just over the Bay Bridge. The Giants win titles because they let their players hang around,and they do this thing called re-signing them to contracts. When you don’t have a nucleus, you don’t win a ring and until Beane learns this, he won’t have one.

JoeBuck27. Joe Buck

First year selection

I haven’t been the biggest Joe Buck supporter. I used to hate him doing baseball games but was okay with him when he did football,now I just dislike him altogether.

He isn’t very good at this job,he does a poor job at filling in all the details (Don’t believe me? Listen to your hometown announcers and how they do regarding that and then listen to Buck) and he also hates your team.

I know many San Francisco Giants fans do not like him because he isn’t Duane Kuiper,Mike Krukow,Jon Miller or Dave Flemming. Those guys are not only their home announcers but are good at what they do. The Giants have had a great track record when it comes to broadcasters. So when it’s switched to Buck during the postseason,the quality dips,therefore fans are prompted to either mute the sound or listen to KNBR while watching the game.

ThursdayNightFootball6. Thursday NFL games that don’t take place on Thanksgiving

Third year selection: 2014:5,2013:14

It’s pretty clear to football fans everywhere that Thursday games outside of Thanksgiving are pretty awful and lackluster to watch.

We love football,but it’s becoming overkill even though the match-ups have improved, the games themselves are not good.

I don’t understand why Roger Goodell has insisted on keeping these games on the schedule while making player safety a top priority. It’s clear that a lot of these players are tired and the quality of football played on Thursdays isn’t there. Until these games are off the docket, this item might just be on the list.

Next week’s dumpster fire of a game between Tennessee and Jacksonville is living proof that football on Thursdays is not worth it.

ShoesNotOnAllTheWay5. People who don’t put their shoes on all of the way

Second year selection: 2014:2

Worse than people wearing slippers in public are people, who did bother to wear shoes,but aren’t wearing them all the way. I see this a lot where I work with the customers and it boggles my mind that people do this.

It destroys and weakens your shoes for one thing,another thing is that it makes you look like you’re lazy and aren’t trying very hard. Don’t look this way and makes sure your shoes are loved and well taken care of.

I’m T.J. the Sports Geek and I approve this message because I wrote it.


GiantsAsHat4. Sports bigamy (My second favorite team is…)

Second year selection-2014:1

This was our No. 1 last year and was in strong consideration for it this year,but I felt that having this again at that spot would make for an anti-climactic list and you would’ve waited six days for nothing.

Anyways, sports bigamy is back on this list because it my strong belief that you cannot and should not have a second favorite team. Ever.

What if both of those teams meet in the playoffs or a championship game? You’re pretty much screwed, don’t be screwed.
If we’re allowed to have two or more favorite sports teams, then I get to marry two women when the time comes. If that’s where society is going, then that’s what I have to do.

Goodell3. NFL commissioner Roger Goodell

First year selection

Roger Goodell has shown time and time again why he is a far inferior commissioner than his predecessor,Paul Tagliabue,and this year has proven it.

From his continued stance to have games on Thursdays to limiting teams to one helmet color (thus eliminating most throwback uniforms,which are cool) to his fumbling of the Ray Rice situation, Goodell has shown me and the rest of the football universe that a new head man is needed for the country’s most popular league.

PalinNoGlasses2. Sarah Palin and her awful family

Fourth year selection: 2014:33,2013:36,2011:1

I have not liked this woman and her terrible family ever since they came on the scene in 2008. They continue to be awful and the matriarch of the family,Sarah, continues to say some stupid shit.

Not long ago,she said that we should send the Mexicans back “across the ocean” to Mexico where they belong and also said that all Mexican immigrants should convert to Christianity.

“America should only be for people who believe in Jesus,” Palin responded, “When George Washington and Abraham Lincoln founded this country, they made Christianity our official religion and I don’t see any reason to change that now. The Italians, Irish, and Germans came to the United States, and we converted them all. So why can’t we convert the Mexicans? If Obama is gonna let these folks in, he needs to get them to stop worshipping cactuses and start following the path of Christ.”

Not only is she dumb as a rock,but she’s also very unattractive. Don’t believe me? The photo we’ve used for her this year says it all.

PrisonSelfie1. People who don’t call or text back

Second year selection: 2014: 8

This became the number one selection for the list this year because this has become my top pet peeve in life.

When someone takes the time to call or text you,you should do everything possible to get back to them. Failing to do so makes you a big douchebag.

It is not hard to get back to someone. I work about 40 hours a week and have a lot going on in my life,yet oddly enough I don’t have a hard time returning a call or text. The reason why I’m so good at it is because I would want someone to do the same thing for me.

Is it too much to ask for someone to get back to me for Christ’s sake? I don’t think so!

That’s it, that’s the list! Or is it?

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December 2014
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