Back in June of last year, I posted for our 400th entry my Rules for Being a Sports Fan. Over the weekend I saw something that made me need to add another one to the list. So now we have an even 20 rules to the list. Here is the revised list!
2. If you live in an area with multiple teams of the same sport, you can only choose one. No being a 49ers and a Raiders fan or a Giants and an A’s fan. You can’t have it both ways. Life isn’t fair. What if both of those teams meet up in a championship game? Who do you root for? You’re screwed! Don’t be screwed! Just pick one team. Also not allowed is liking different teams at a time, got that, Justin Bieber?
3. If you are a fan of a team, that’s your team. You can’t root for other teams when you move to another city. If you moved from Baltimore to Denver, you are still a Baltimore Orioles fan, you cannot be a Colorado Rockies fan. Also not allowed is having a favorite team in each conference. You can’t have an AFC team and an NFC team or an AL team and an NL team. It doesn’t work like that. Again,life isn’t fair.
4. If your team did not make the postseason, you cannot root for a team that’s in the playoffs and call yourself a fan of that team (Example: You’re a Calgary Flames fan and you say you’re a fan of the Pittsburgh Penguins come playoff time). Just because your team sucks doesn’t give you license to do this. This is called being a bandwagon fan and these fans give the diehard fans a bad name. You can pick teams to win and bet on them, but buying their jersey because they made the playoffs is a big no-no.
5. You cannot under any circumstances buy apparel of other sports teams simply because you like it better. If you are a San Francisco Giants fan, you must always wear Giants hats. You may NEVER wear a hat of another team, especially if it’s an A’s hat or a Dodgers hat. I like the Washington Nationals’ hat insignia, but I will never be caught dead in their hat. Also, don’t wear hats with colors that aren’t team colors or were never worn by the team (the 4th of July MLB hats are fine because they were worn on the field), the Oakland A’s have never worn purple in their team history, don’t wear a purple A’s hat.
Also, if you’re a pro athlete,you cannot wear the hat of another team that plays in your league. It makes fans question your loyalty and commitment to your team and they (the fans) will remember this moment should you begin to not play at the level you once did.
6. You may not wear any other team’s apparel unless you lost some stupid bet you made where you have to wear the other team’s colors because your team lost to them. Those bets,by the way,are idiotic, so don’t get yourself into them unless you’re damn sure your team will win.
7. If you attend a game, you are not allowed to bring a book, Kindle, or use your iPad. You are there to watch a game, not study. That’s what libraries are for.
9. You must have at least one item of your team’s apparel and wear it regularly. You’re not a real fan if you don’t own their laundry.
10. If your sports team bails to another town on you, you are free to no longer root for that team. For example, the Seattle SuperSonics moving to Oklahoma City in 2008. They’re the ones changing scenery, not you. You are free to choose any team you want to root for, but you must continue rooting for them. Take all the time you need to do this.
11. If your favorite team has just won a championship recently, they get a five year grace period. No complaining about how bad they’re playing now, you’ve had it good recently,Giants fans, no more peeps about how bad the pitching is or how anemic the offense gets at times.
12. If you are in a relationship with someone who roots for a different team than you do, you are not allowed to switch allegiances (For example, your boyfriend is a Philadelphia Phillies fan and you root for the San Francisco Giants). This happens way too much and the reason it bothers me is because this prevents us a society (and sports society) from accepting each other’s differences. Being different is what makes each one of us as individuals great.
13. Dont riot after your team either wins or loses a championship series. It makes you look like an asshole and
makes the city you live in look bad. Giants fans in 2012, you know better. But nobody looked worse than you,Vancouver,following the 2011 Stanley Cup Finals, way to make Oakland look like charm school. You can celebrate your team’s win,but do it responsibly,and with class.
14. If a fan who roots for the visiting team comes into your home stadium it does not give you license to throw shit at them. You can boo them, but that’s about all you can do to them. They are fans, much like yourselves, who want to enjoy the game just as much as you do. So don’t be a dick and throw rocks at them. It makes you and your team’s entire fan base look bad.
15. If your team beat a buddy’s team in the playoffs, don’t rub it in. Don’t call or text and say “In your face! ” or the like, the same rule applies to social media. It’s mean and classless. Again, win with class!
16. Personalized player jerseys, I am actually okay with that. Look, players come and go on teams faster than I go through shoes. Why spend $75-$100 on a player’s jersey if he is only there for one year? Why not put your name on the same jersey for a little bit more? It will last longer and you’ll wear it more than the player who’s jersey you would have bought would ever do so. It’s economical!
17. Fantasy sports are cool to participate in, but if it is beyond football, I am not interested. The beauty of fantasy football is that I can play week to week and see how well I do and prepare for the game as the week goes on. Fantasy sports with daily games are hard to keep up with if you’re as busy as me these days. The only thing I can say about this is that you should not root for someone because they are on your team. Also, no being happy about one of your players doing well against your favorite team. Just accept their results, whether good or bad, and move on to the next game!
18. It is okay to like the minor league teams that are affiliated with your team and vise versa. For example, if you are an Edmonton Oilers fan, you can root for the Stockton Thunder as well because their players will one day end up on the big league club. And the same is flipped around for Thunder fans if they want to root for the Oilers. You can also be a fan of the minor league club and not the major league club (Example: Rooting for the Sacramento RiverCats and being a San Francisco Giants fan).
19. If you are wearing team apparel, don’t mix and match different teams (Example: Wearing a San Francisco Giants hat with a Golden State Warriors jersey). If you wear team apparel, wear it for the same team. If you wear a San Jose Sharks jersey, wear a San Jose Sharks hat with it or a lanyard,or whatever. Matching matters!
20. If your team is in the playoffs, do yourself a favor and don’t buy any championship gear until they have won just that-a championship. Flying a flag that says you’re the NFC Champions or the American League Champions means you’re celebrating second place. That’s absolutely nothing to celebrate about. Neither is celebrating the win of your division if that’s how far your team got in the postseason. That’s the equivalent of getting a participation ribbon in an elementary school kickball tournament. When your team wins a title, that’s your cue to buy gear to celebrate it.
That is all I have so far. Did I leave anything out?