Skip to content

The Things That Need to Go in 2014,Part Five


We have arrived at the Top 20 of our countdown. In Part Four, we saw dumb songs and girls with mustache obsessions. We are getting closer to the end of our list. Here is No.20!

20. Celebrities giving their children fucked up names

First year selection

I think many of us can agree that celebrities are not very skilled at giving their children a proper name. From Apple Paltrow to North West, a lot of these children have to go through life with bad names and a lifetime of teasing and embarrassment.

Is giving them a common name all that bad? I hardly think so. I think it is time that celebrities stopped trying to be so unique and complicated when it should really be that simple to give your kid a decent name. North West is a direction,not a name.
MileyCyrus19. CATCH-ALL: Miley Cyrus and her awful haircut and Twerking
First year selection

Miley Cyrus definitely had a banner year…of making a fool out of herself,that is.
I personally do not find her attractive. That short blonde hair does not do it for me. If anything,she needs to find the person responsible for taking a weedwhacker to her head and calling that a hairstyle. It is anything but that! Hell my hair looks better than hers and it has not existed since 2002.

As for her twerking, what the hell was that? How was that cool? It was anything but that. Coming out in a costume that looks like Chuck E. Cheese with his tongue out did not impress me all that much,neither did bending over for Robin Thicke in nude colored underwear and sneakers. You what does impress me? Class. Miley should get some before it’s too late.

bigeyeglasses18. Enormous eyewear
This has made the list in many forms,trust me.

Sometimes,more is not always better. In terms of eyewear,I feel that is the case.

If you have read this blog on a semi-regular basis, you know how I feel about big sunglasses, they’re too big. Then all of a sudden a couple of years ago big eyeglasses started to come back. This,by the way, was the trend in the 1980s and early 1990s and they did not look good and still don’t.

I do not want a bulky pair of eyeglasses taking over my face. I mean,I want people to notice them,but not to the point to where my glasses are all they see on my face. I am due to get a new pair sometime next month and I hope I can still get a small-ish pair. I am not getting huge glasses, yo! I would not look good in them.

JackintheBox17. The slowness that is Jack in the Box’s drive-thru
First year selection

Jack in the Box is a decent place to grub down,but if you go through the drive-thru,you may be waiting a while.

I am dumbfounded over how they take their sweet time when it comes to the drive-thru. Back when I still worked in grocery the one near the last store I worked out was notorious for its slow drive-thru. I once waited a half hour in it. I thought the drive-thru was supposed to be faster. Why is coming inside a safer bet?

I think it is time to pick the pace up a little bit in what is supposed to be the express lane of your business,Jack. Just sayin…

StartedFromtheBottom16. The phrase “Started from the bottom, now I’m here” and the use of it by overprivileged white children
First year selection

Here is a phrase I have hated since its inception,especially by white kids who live in or came from sophisticated suburbs.

Memo to all of you, no you didn’t. You came from a great neighborhood and Daddy paid your way for everything. You have not had it rough,nor did you start from the bottom in any way whatsoever. Something you should learn is that family money can take you a long way. In no way is it everything,but in most cases it can help you.

UsernamePassword15. “Your username or password is incorrect. Please try again. “
First year selection
Well,which is it, my username or my password?

This,folks,needs to stop being a mystery. This is 2013, I think we have the technology to tell everyone which one is incorrect. The username or the password,or is it both? Stop leaving me hanging and help me out on this one!


Peyton-Manning-Papa-Johns-Pizza14. Papa John’s Pizza
First year selection
I love pizza, I really do. I have many favorite pizza places,but Papa John’s is not one of them. First of all, their pizza is awful.

Second of all,my sister worked there for a long time and it was not always the best of times of her working there. Lastly,they have come out against the Affordable Health Care act claiming they can’t afford to give their workers healthcare,yet at the same time have no problem giving away two million free pizzas.

And why is Peyton Manning their spokesperson? He can clearly afford better pizza than this garbage. Peyton should probably hit up a Round Table Pizza sometime, he just might thank me for it. I am SO glad that the Sacramento area no longer has any of these places around.

SBXLVIII13. Generic Super Bowl logos
First year selection

Remember when Super Bowl logos were interesting and creative from year to year? I know I do.

Every year the big game would have something in its logo that would be significant to the city and/or the game itself and a lot of them were great. Then it was decided that the NFL would just recycle the same boring chrome logo over and over and over again. Boooooooooo!!!

And no,putting the skyline of the host city does not make it any better. It is time that we hired creative design artists to work and make cool looking logos for the Super Bowl again.

Westboro12. The Westboro Baptist Church
Second year selection ,2013: 9

This borderline terrorist organization has made the list for the seond year straight and it is no secret as to why they have. They continue to be as hateful as possible and in the name of the Lord.

We seriously do not need people like this around. I know they do not speak for all of Christianity or for Christianity period, but it is groups like this that make me want to be less religious. I thought religion was supposed to teach love. Clearly this group missed that boat!

SelfCheckout11. Self-checkout

First year selection

I was,for years,a proponent of self-checkout despite it taking the jobs of grocers. There are pluses to it, like getting out quicker,especially if you have fewer than 15 items or even just one. However, with the state of the grocery industry being as it is, I think it might be beneficial to eliminate it.

If we did eliminate it, it might put more jobs back into stores, forces people to get to a checkstand, and it gets those social phobes who use self-checkout to interact with someone, something that is needed in one’s life.

Let’s just go back to two express lanes and five checkstands being open.

Part Six comes tomorrow!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog Stats

  • 168,841 hits
December 2013
%d bloggers like this: