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The Things That Need to Go in 2013, Part Four


Here we are at Part Four! We’ve gone through Parts One,Two,and Three and now we bring you numbers 40-21. Here’s Number 40…

40. Commercials that feature Ice Cube yelling at a can of beer in a recording studio

These commercials are so god damn annoying. They feature has-been rapper Ice Cube talking to and yelling at a can of beer saying it’s not colder than him. Then the can of beer somehow makes it snow in Ice Cube’s recording studio (where he’s recording music that was cool 15 years ago) and yells at it some more.

Look,Ice Cube is still great at acting, but this ad campaign sucks. Not to mention it doesn’t make Coors light any better to drink.

My old glasses from face down.

My old glasses from face down.

39. People who remove their glasses and place them face down

2012: 37

It fell two spots from the year before, but it’s still terrible and I hate when people do this. Every time one does do so,I always feel that I should correct them and place them face up. The reason why you place them face up is so they don’t get scratched on them. It’s also something your optician or eye doctor tells you when you get a new pair.

If I have mine off and someone else sets them somewhere else and they are face down, I get pretty peeved. Mine don’t have any scratched on them at all and I’ve had them since March and I want that to still be the case.

Oh,and stop wiping them with a paper towel. That also scratches them. If you’re gonna do that, you might as well take a piece of sandpaper to them.


38. CATCH-ALL: Halloween costumes for pets, Clothes for pets, Dressing up animals,and Putting diapers on pets

Anyone who knows me well knows how much I hate this. Dressing up your pet is not cute, it is humiliating to them. I don’t know how many times I have seen these poor pets look embarrassed for having to wear a hat or a costume or a sweater. 

Many of these animals have clothes already,it’s called fur. 


37. Skinny ties

2012: Leftovers

This came pretty close to making the final list last year and didn’t because I didn’t think the fad would continue. Wow,was I wrong!

I can’t believe how popular skinny ties are getting. I hate that they’re so tiny and that so many awesome looking patterns happen to adorn those ties. I have tried buying certain colors of ties and they’ve all been skinny,which I don’t want.

I really hope this trend isn’t forced on us because I might have to resort to turtlenecks or something, and that’s a future I don’t want to see.

36. Anything associated with the Palins

2008 called,they want you back there!

2008 called,they want you back there!

2011: 1

These people are like cockroaches, just when you think they’ve gone away, they come crawling back and staying for a while.

This family, particularly Sarah, is awful. Sarah Palin has almost nothing of intellectual value to come out of her mouth. If this is who the Republican party is seriously seeking as a future presidential candidate in 2016, I’d be worried. Not only that, her books never sell very well, I always see them on book racks at 75 to 80-percent off. So she and her family seem to me like something America doesn’t need.

35. The loud noise that the Emergency Alert System makes

I get that the EAS is there for reasons like giant storms or other natural disasters and even Amber alerts, but do we need that annoying noise? And why does it wake me up in the middle of the night? It’s 2 a.m. and I want to sleep, not to hear your monthly test all of a sudden.

And why is it that my entire cable system is affected? I think I should have the option of changing the station if the one I am watching does an EAS test. That’s how it used to be and we liked it! 

NFL34. The last two weeks of the preseason in the NFL

Do we really need a four week NFL preseason?

If this season was any indication, the first two weeks were where teams pretty much figured out who was going to make their rosters.

By week three and four, players who were going to be given their walking papers were taking snaps and fans stayed away in droves.
I think having only two games would be better. Oh,and let’s not charge regular season prices to see Kellen Moore or Graham Harrell start games to “see how he looks”.

Hello,bug eyes!

Hello,bug eyes!

33. Big sunglasses

2012: 27

I’m starting to see these less and less and that’s a good thing. This trend is still not quite at its end,though and it probably should be.

I’ve stated it before, big sunglasses do nothing for me. Females wearing them don’t look that great with them on. Do you think this might be why I am a winter person? Because the summertime seems to be full of hideous oversized sunglasses.

32. Men who stick their feet out of the car windowmenfeetcar

2012: 19

I have little to say about this other than this is only hot when women do it, let’s move on.

BarefootGrocery31. People who walk into stores barefoot

2012: 25 (CATCH-ALL)

Having just left the retail industry after seven years, this is one thing that made me cringe. I know in some places it isn’t illegal to do this, and I think in California that’s the case, but it’s just unsanitary.

I’m not one that’s grossed out by feet in general, but when someone is in a store without shoes, it’s the opposite. Not only that, but why walk around like that without them? Are you that crazy about tetanus shots? I’ve had them before (on a different part of my body), they hurt like a son of a bitch!

movies30. Horrible sequels to awesome movies

They’re scattered throughout our history and they need to be stopped. Caddyshack II, Beverly Hills Cop III, Rocky V,and the list goes on.

If a movie kicks ass, chances are it doesn’t need a sequel decades later. Case in point: Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights. Okay,that was a prequel, but it still was horrible. And the direct to video sequels are just embarrassing,too. Hollywood is really out of ideas,yo!

29. Casual Fridays062510CasualFridayZM10.jpg

2012: 4

As we stated last year, being at work is neither supposed to be casual or comfortable. Why else do we take off everything that is uncomfortable when we get home from work?

No matter how you’re dressed,it’s still work. I’ve always felt that if you’re at a job where most of the time you’re visual to someone, you should look your best no matter what day of the week it is. I have before in the past and will continue to. Why? Because every girl’s crazy about a sharp dressed man!

If you look good,you feel good!

mismatchedsocks28. People who have mismatched socks on purpose

I understand that sometimes we end up with socks that aren’t quite a pair and that’s acceptable, but doing it on purpose kinda bothers me. Am I being the jackass who wants to turn the R back to its normal side on the Toys R Us sign? Probably, but this bothers me a little.

If you have a blue sock in your hand, do your damn due dilligence to find its mate. Don’t pair it with a pink sock or any other sock. It’s mainly girls who do this,but guys have done it,too,and for the most part guys should know better than that.

27. Tent cities outside of Best Buy

Get a life!

Get a life!

If you’re someone who likes to waste time and waste time often and you’ve got $2000 to blow on something you more than likely don’t need, why not live outside Best Buy for a week in late November?

I understand that people are always looking for a great deal,but is it worth camping outside an electronics store for a week when you should be spending the Thursday of that week with your family and/or friends and loved ones?

I’ve never understood why people do this, partly because Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday and I don’t want to go anywhere that day, but the ones who do seem like they need to get a life,not a chance to purchase a Blu-Ray player for $79 and they only have five of them.

Are you ready for some terrible and unnecessary ultra right wing commentary?

Are you ready for some terrible and unnecessary ultra right wing commentary?

26. Hank Williams, Jr.

Here is somebody I thought would be gone once he was let go by ESPN for making terrible comments about the President, but he is still hanging around spouting out the most ridiculous things.

Back in September, the singer made comments regarding the President’s religion and said he also hated cowgirls and fishing. Williams has also said that liberals should move to Mexico in one of his songs.

Williams is also a homophobe,too and I find it hard to tolerate someone like that. He is entitled to whatever idealogue he wants, but honestly I don’t want to hear it and neither do a lot of people in this country. I am so glad he isn’t opening Monday Night Football anymore, it’s actually more pleasant that way.

HighwaySign25. Northern Californians who refer to freeway names as “The”.

Northern Californians have Southern Californians have different ways of doing things. Naming our freeways is one of them. Here in Northern California we go with “I-680 or Interstate 680” or when referring to a federal highway it’s just “Highway 50”, state routes are also referred to as “Highway 99 (for example)”. Southern Californians go with “The 210 (for example)”.

When Northern Californians do it the SoCal way, it bothers me. You are not from there, you are not allowed to do this. That would be like me being of Canadian descent stereotypically saying “Eh” after every sentence. There needs to be a law against this.

24. East Coast biaseast-coast-bias

This mainly applies to ESPN really,but their East Coast bias is absolutely embarrassing. Why is it that this network only cares about East Coast teams? I understand a three hour time difference is a big deal and all,but sports are being played out here,too, and that there are good teams besides the Los Angeles Lakers out here,too.

Shit,the San Francisco Giants won two of the last three World Series and they didn’t get very much coverage from this network at all. You had to turn to your regional sports networks who can’t always bring you the best coverage like ESPN can.

We seriously need a West Coast version of ESPN. WSPN anyone?

AmericanIdol23. American Idol

I liked watching this show the first few years until they scaled back all the people who had terrible auditions (which is what we really watched for) and then the original judges left and now it’s just getting sad.

Paula,Randy,and Simon are no longer there. In their places over the years were Kara,Ellen, J.Lo,Steven Tyler and now it’s Nicky Minaj (terrible), Mariah Carey (past her prime), and Keith Urban (Welp!). I doubt this show is going to last much longer with all the changes being made and Carey and Minaj not even liking each other.

Also,with competitors like The Voice giving Idol a run for its money, the writing looks to be on the wall.

22. Two and a Half Men

Here’s a show that should’ve left when Charlie Sheen did. Two and a Half Men needs to be put out of its misery like Old Yeller. Ashton Kutcher is not Sheen and never will be. Yes, Sheen basically played himself on the show, but DAMN he was good at it.
Also,when one third of the main cast urges viewers to stay away, you know things are bad. Not only that, but way to move it from Mondays to Thursdays where nobody can find it.

uggs21. Uggs

2012: 31, 2011: 21

How did Uggs get back to their 2011 position? Who knows!

For those who have read this list the two times we’ve done it, you probably know that I’ve had a long standing disdain for them. They look ugly and like something Russians would wear when they go to the post office or run other errands.

I thought this phenomenon would die long ago and as long as girls and Tom Brady keep wearing them,this will make the list. Just letting you know…

Part Five (Nos. 20-10) comes tomorrow!

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December 2012
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