From the home office at tjthesportsgeek.com in beautiful downtown Orangevale,Calif.

Top Eight Signs You’re Lacking Family Values

8. Each of your family members have appeared on “Maury” at least 12 times

7. You refer to your children as your “smoking buddies”

6. You once exclaimed that you want to date your daughter on national television

5. In a fight over the last piece of pizza, you coldcocked your uncle

4. You have a really bad Southern college named after you

3. You attend your kid’s open house wearing a tube top and nothing but that

2. Family gatherings often turn into sanctioned boxing matches

1. Protecting guns is more important to you than protecting children